Pinky jee,I done the practise of writting...Its also my very old habbit of writting fazool things on papers while I am at work..I always write,differet names in URDU,like people names,some pretty poetic instance,names of cities,sometimes I write in calligraphy styles..If I am talking on the phone at work ,in the mean time I will start writting others person name,tell no,his address..etc...Like nothing speacial ,just to kill the time....
One thing to add, As I always feel this ghabraat,but not at the time when I am with my wife.Mean to say ,during fore play,laying together,touching & kissing her ,intercourse & all that stuff.This is the only beautiful time of my life when I dont feel nothing,like in complete peace.BUT I know It can not be done all day long.....Pls advise & thanks once again....Its 13.30 here in UK....& I am at work at this time.Are you in USA or in PAK ??
Group: Members Joined: 09th May, 2011 Topic: 122 Post: 4287 Age:
28
Posted on:12th Dec 2007, 8:46am
My friend Nikamma
nikamma bro i dont understand whats the prob but want to keep trying , inshallah we get the result , yes i know , your replies was very calm and cool ,its clearly show in your post , even u say nothing to us like me (at that time when i criticize u very much ) and reply normaly...........
ok friend answer me i think this is a gene prob (as u said your mother have also this) will she suffer from this now also ? plus what she say to u when u tell her about your prob ? plus ................ tell us full detail of your ghabrahat with every angle ?
(plz remember as u know i m (or pinky) not a doctor , psychologist or any specialist.................... so dont think us like that , we r just trying to solve your problem , may be we can ......... as many specialist cant solve it)...............thanks
Nikamma ji I live here in Houston, USA and it is 8:00 in the morning I know it is 7:00 in the evening in Pkistan and in UK it will be 2:00 afternoon. U know what, There is someone in my IMMEDIATE family has suffered exactly from what u are going throuhg. That is why I was asking u so many que to make sure that I am not wrong in understanding yr problem. Plz plz tell me one more thing.
What is the aim of yr life. Do u ever, ever feel that u are living a life which has no MAQSAD??? like helping others etc. Also do u ever think that we all live a useless life just come into the world do whatever we HAVE to do and leave???
Also tell me that whatever u wrote on the paper was it just the names or simple info about certain people or u were also writing about some angry stuff. Are u writing the same things every time or not.
HITMAN sb...Thanks for understanding me.Yes I am a very calm man in my nature.About my mother,yes still she suffers this.She always take one tablet (cypralex ..anti anxity tablet ) regularly since 15 yaers..Same like me ,she tried her best & under gone all methods..I even take her to GERMANY ,but nothing happend.So same like me,she use one tablet before sleep....
Yes I understand you & Pinky jee are not doctors/physcolgist/brain experts or anything..You are my friends & are trying to help me.I just know only this.Other things are very useless for me...
Pinky jee,yes I have only one aim of life .BUT truely speaking not like others..I mean ,I am not hungry for any thing.My aim is very simple..I tell u truth ,In my life ,I dont need nothing extra as I dont have any desires left.I am a very contented person.Always thankfull to GOD..not demading any more..My aim could be ,just to lookafter & love my family & all the times I want& ready to help for others...This is ISLAM.& practically I am very good muslim,I think.
Mera maqsad life main .............kiya ho sakta hai....?????
How I tell you, nothing .no aims..I need just a peace full life ,thats it..Want to work only which full fill my basic nessacities of life...mujay life say aur kuch nahee chahyeeee...I am very happy what ever I have .
I never thought negative in my life like kay just born,get bigger,work,eat ,& just die....
I never thought in my life that,I will become some business tycon or big man,or super man.Try to understand me..I am very simply in my nature..I dont need anything from life any more.I have everything whatever I need to live..The rest of my life is going to be spend for my family & all others needy people if I could do any thing for them..Thats all my life is..
NO dreams
NO desires
NO Projects
NO extra needs.
NO motivation for any thing.
Always helpfull for any one.
Very polite & kind.
BUT I love my work..I feel very bore the day I dont go to work.
.................................Any thing else you need,pls ask....Thanks once again...
HITMAN sb...Thanks for understanding me.Yes I am a very calm man in my nature.About my mother,yes still she suffers this.She always take one tablet (cypralex ..anti anxity tablet ) regularly since 15 yaers..Same like me ,she tried her best & under gone all methods..I even take her to GERMANY ,but nothing happend.So same like me,she use one tablet before sleep....
Yes I understand you & Pinky jee are not doctors/physcolgist/brain experts or anything..You are my friends & are trying to help me.I just know only this.Other things are very useless for me...
Pinky jee,yes I have only one aim of life .BUT truely speaking not like others..I mean ,I am not hungry for any thing.My aim is very simple..I tell u truth ,In my life ,I dont need nothing extra as I dont have any desires left.I am a very contented person.Always thankfull to GOD..not demading any more..My aim could be ,just to lookafter & love my family & all the times I want& ready to help for others...This is ISLAM.& practically I am very good muslim,I think.
Mera maqsad life main .............kiya ho sakta hai....?????
How I tell you, nothing .no aims..I need just a peace full life ,thats it..Want to work only which full fill my basic nessacities of life...mujay life say aur kuch nahee chahyeeee...I am very happy what ever I have .
I never thought negative in my life like kay just born,get bigger,work,eat ,& just die....
I never thought in my life that,I will become some business tycon or big man,or super man.Try to understand me..I am very simply in my nature..I dont need anything from life any more.I have everything whatever I need to live..The rest of my life is going to be spend for my family & all others needy people if I could do any thing for them..Thats all my life is..
NO dreams
NO desires
NO Projects
NO extra needs.
NO motivation for any thing.
Always helpfull for any one.
Very polite & kind.
BUT I love my work..I feel very bore the day I dont go to work.
.................................Any thing else you need,pls ask....Thanks once again...
Pinky jee,In my free time,I love to listen songs ...Only asians....I hate wetern muzic..I use to write just normal people names,normal city names,sometimes ph numbers & address & just like that..Nothing write anything about anger,sorrow,sad or bad..As these are not in my nature..I tell u one thing ,then u might get some clue about my nature...If you are 1 % good with me ,I will be 1000 times more good with you..Evenif you hate me,I dont hate you.....If some one dont like me,still I dont feel or think bad about someone...I am always friendly with every one..If someone hurt me ,I just ignore,if he tries again,I will ignore again...At the max,I will just leave him politely...No revenge or anger....
Group: Members Joined: 09th May, 2011 Topic: 122 Post: 4287 Age:
28
Posted on:12th Dec 2007, 2:27pm
nikamma bro
ok nikamma , if u have no desires for acheiving anything then what do u want , i mean do u want only just sukoon as pinky said or plus something else, or just want to remove only your ghabrahat from u plus something else more .............
Jee Pinky jee,I need only sakoon( no ghabrahat) by all means...Please advice freely,ajeeb naheee lagay gee....I will accept it whatever the situation is...I am tired of this sufferings..I want to get rid of it in any condition..Pls tell..
Jee HITMAN SB ...I just want to remove my 'ghabrahat' & need relaxtion...No ,I dont need any thing else...I just need to get out of it & want to live very pursakoon life which I used to have....
Ok nikama ji let’s talk about the solution of yr problem now.
I told u earlier that I know someone who was suffering from the same problem, let me tell u who that person was.That was ME.Just like u, with, alhamdulillah no troubles or problems at all, I had suffered this situation more than half of my life, about more than ten years. At early age I did not have sleep problem, however, later it also started bothering me.When I was old enough to understand the problem, I met with a therapist and she recognized the problem same as yrs, means Anxiety Disorder.
Of course, there was no effect of therapy or exercise, or anything else.I never tried sleeping pills however.
Well…..The situation kept bothering my everyday life until I started realizing that my mom also had this type of personality.However, amazing thing was, she never had sleep problem or BAY_CHAINI or GABRAHAT, though she had a restless nature.Amazing!!!The thing I found in her attitude was that she was using all her energy in such a way which was helping her stay away from all this negative stuff, but still I was unable to really figure out that what was keeping her so happy with this restless natures of hers???
Therefore, I started thinking another way.I thought that she is a religious person and may be this is the cause of her happiness.I used to offer my prayers even before that, but now I started offering more stuff.However it did not totally work.Then one day I found something, which I might have read many times before, but it just clicked my mind that day and consequently changed my life.
The piece I had read was that, “ tum doosroun kay liay aasaniaan paida kero, Allah tumharay liay aasani paida keray ga.”As simple as that I started thinking along those lines.Meanwhile I also read a book ZINDAGI by FAZAL HAQ, which also revolves around the same theme(by the way if u can, read it).Bottom line is I found out that Haqooqulibad are much more important than haqooqulah(I am not saying that we should stop offering haqooqulah)and allah’s blessings are with them who are INTENTIONALLY taking care of his fellow humans.I am sure u know what intentionally means but I want to add some more.Sometimes we find someone asking for our help, so we help them it is good but not the best, and it is not intentional.This word means that we intentionally find time in our busy life and schedule and make special plans to help others.Also every month or week, we keep some money aside specially to spend it on needy people.I know it is not easier some time, and that is the point.When we intentionally try and sometimes try hard to get that thing done, means go out find the situation and the people and find the right means to help them then allah also intentionally comes towards us more than ever and removes our those problems and bless us more than ever.
This is the way I got the kind of sakoon I do not want to loose ever in my life.Now I remember and can understand why my mom was so happy?She is one of those who will go out in severe hot summers, or in chilly cold winters to give money or necessary stuff to those who are on her list.She is always on the go, mash Allah very very active even in this age and have so much peace of mind that I always long for that.Bottom line is I have experienced that if we chennelize our energy in the right way, it stops bothering us.
Long enough? Now the thing is that I have found ur personality after reading all of yr post from the beginning when I joined the forum, I always feel that u have a very pious soul, even though u talk about the porns or stuff like that.Why??? Because the best people are those who never mess with others, and that is u.I consider u the best person, of course even much much better than me, in this forum since u never say anything wrong to anyone.Mashallah allah have given u so much and may bless u all ur life I say.U just need to direct yr energy towards the right direction.Trust me u will never ever feel BAY-CHAINI in yr life again, and I hope resulting from that u will found it easy to go to sleep on yr own without any medicine.
I believe, when our problem had been same, the disorder was recognized the same, the therapy did not work the same way, then why would not solution be the same???I encourage u to figure out the meaning of yr life again.Do not just spend it for yr family or for yr own self.Try to be aggressive in a positive way and create a MAQSAD fo yr life.
I will recommend u to do certain things at least for two to three weeks continuously with out caring about yr own anxiety and then see if it works.
1- Right before going to bed, offer wuddoo very gently.then offer only 2 rakat nafal namaz and sit down.Ask allah to give u sakoon and TAYFEEQ to help others.It it because if allah do not give us TAUFEEQ we will never be able to help anyone even if someone is suffering in-front of us, how it works? We are not talking about it here.So ask for taufeeq.Then ask allah to give u a better long night sleep.Do this for 2 to 3 week minimum and see what happens.
2-Everyday, all day long with or with out wuddo keep reciting Ya-Hayyo….Ya-Qayyumo,whenever it is possible.U will see the difference in ur nature in less than 2 weeks but the condition is to keep reciting it all day.It will also motivate ur inner person to find the right way to direct yr energy, while helping u to get out of yr problem.
3-Eid is almost around the corner, find someone in yr family who is not as blessed as u are and then in a proper way without making them feeling bad provide them something with which they were in need for.If no one is in yr family then find someone else.
Start finding and helping people on regular basis as much as u can afford as God do not need our money, he just sees our good intentions.Helping with money is one thing, u need to help people physically, and also mentally etc.And for this u do not need to wait until someone comes towards u, getup and FIND THEM, which is a totally different approach.
I feel blessed after so many years struggle, and I am sure, inshallah u will feel blessed too.Trust me when there is no solution in medicine and therapy, u will always find solution in this way.
May allah bless u with his countless blessings.
For others: Plz note that I have no offense with medical and psychological therapies and this is just my personal experience which I am sharing with nikamma.
Jee Pinky jee...First of all I dont have any words to say Thanks to you ..I really mean it..You have given me so much respect even calling me a pious soul...Many many many thanks..
I am 100% agree with you whatever you said.Truely speaking ,I had a clue about whatever u wrote. I used to do the same thing & ofcourse will do again & try & try & would let you know...May you understand & could believe my passion about other human being........U always ask me about my aim...My aim could be only to lookafter 'mahlook e Khuda'..i cant not tell you how keen I am about other people..I just want to remove all their sorrows & vowes & I always try...Pls dont thing I am only talking big ....I really mean it..thats all I want to share.Rest pls leave it up to me & GOD....
Namaaz,Ziker, prayers give you sakoon ,I know.I tried as well......BUT may be not in full strength,thats why it might not have worked properly....About vuzoo & cleanleness...I am extra extra carefull.All my life ,I daily do GHUSAL whether its hot or freeezing...Always pak saaf...Even I suspect that a dirty spot on myself,I straight go ,bath & change e`very thing..Very pure about my body,cloths & every thing...Its my habbit to recite Allhamdualliha,Allah ho Akber,Darood Shareef,Sorat Akhlaaas, all day long ,always on my tongue...
Getting funny ,I know I speak about some rubbish or dirty stuff,I just joke with others,by nature I am very very funny & polite...In this forum,people might think that I am stupid...but I know what I am & always respond according to others calliber.....BUT in future I will lookafter this as well..Thanks once again...
Tonight ,I will act upon ur advise & will let u know tommorrow about all things ....I really dont know how to thank to u as U are giving me too much time..Would you belive that,In my all life I always help other BUT never asked for any thing from other even though sometimes I need desperately..BUT as a contented person,I dont ask people for nothing but trust me I am always at giving end....
Would you belive that,despite of teling me about the person ,who was suffering from this is not any one else but only YOU...I knew that its you...I can say that ,GOD has given me so much asthetic powers to judge others...I never met you,but in this short period of time I can tell you anything about urself....My predictions never goes wrong...bus apnay baray main maaar kha giyaa hoon...BUT I am sure that I will come out of this with urs help..
And pls mujay gunhagaar na kerain by saying that I am better than you or any body else.......My philosophy is that,even a begger could be pious than you..so I am not .....
Pinky jee, I will also share other things with you ,but slowely as I know you must be very very busy & alredy doing a lot for me....No words to thank you.
GOD always bless you with all HIS blessibgs...I am in the off at the time,will write u again.BUT pls do ask me ,if I missed something....Many Mnay thanks....reagrds
Thanks pinky,Yes I will be in contact..I am acting upon your advices...I trying my best & I know this will take little time as these type of things dont go straight away....I will fight least to the end..I am at off right now,will explain later about any improvements....Regarrds
plz do not forget to recite those words. They may not seem important but in my experience they are the best. So recite them at least for 10, 15 days and then decide.
Jee I will offcourse recite all ,I truely believe in the depth of my heart ...
Onething to add,just ur opinion ,my work is very studies nature..like i have to read files & files all the time..my brain tired as we..is it could be any reason for this too....Just comment pls...
If u mean that u get tired by all this work and get that restlessness because of this! think......... was it the same condition when u were not even working this hard in Pak???? If yr condition was the same then u can understand that it is just yr pious soul which is not satisfied only by fulfilling the earhtly desires. However, it u think that yr situation is worse than when u were in Pak, then it means that while yr soul is already burdened, u are now facing this lonliness plus a lot of work.
Just try to get relaxed every 3,4 hours and keep in touch with yr parents and wife. I will come back tommorow inshallah. Keep in touch and take care
Yes pinky jee, you are right,I think I have the same feelings if I work or not.Even in pak,it was happening me with all the times. even I work or not..I know there is little bit definitely rong somewhere.Some times I think that Have I done something rong with someone ,but never found nothing.as I am very harmless man.Any way,I am acting upon whatever you say...I will write to you later..Thanks again..
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To pinky....
My friend Nikamma
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