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dr. Noor |
Group: Members Joined: 03rd Jun, 2009 Topic: 3 Post: 42 Age:
32
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| Posted on:7th Aug 2009, 10:36am |
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 Sakht Saaas: Bahoo Kia Kare?
Hi everyone!
this is the problem of most of the married girls...
Agar kisi larki ke saas boht sakht aur buri ho to wo kia karay?
boht arsay tuk boht izzat ker k , acha paish a ker aur saber ker k dekh lia hai..
koi faeda nahi hota..
aisay log sabar ko bay busi samajh laitay hain.. aur zulm mazeed barhta ja raha hai..
can anyone tell me how to deal with such a saaas...
guidance from the married ladies is most welcome!
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Bewaqoof |
Group: Members Joined: 19th Sep, 2010 Topic: 249 Post: 4259 Age:
38
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| Posted on:7th Aug 2009, 11:14pm |
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re: saas aur bahoo aap agar saas mo mother samjhti tu yeh sentence nahi likhti: "Agar kisi larki ke saas boht sakht aur buri ho to wo kia karay?" taali dono haatho se bajti hai.
aap ne apni mother se daant bhi khaayee hoti aur maar bhi, aur abhi bhi aap ko apni mother ki daant buri nahi lagti hogi. agar aap saas ko bhi mother tasawwar ker le tu woh bhi aap ko buri nahi lage gi.
abhi aap ki age 28 years hai, kia aap bata sakti hai keh aap ki shaadi kab huyee? takeh hamai andaza ho keh aap ne apni mother ke saath ketna arsa guzara aur saas ke saath ketna arsa.
re: "aur zulm mazeed barhta ja raha hai.."
aap zulm ki tafseel bataye tu shayed aap ko koi proper guide ker sake, filhal tu mai yahi samajhta hoo keh aap saas ko saas na samjhe balkeh mother samjhe tu aap ke problem solve ho jaaye ge.
Bahoo bhi kabhi na kabhi saas bane gi |
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paroot |
Group: Members Joined: 23rd Nov, 2008 Topic: 66 Post: 1660 Age:
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| Posted on:7th Aug 2009, 12:07pm |
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q k q k q k saas bhi kabhi bahu thi |
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Kali Zuban |
Group: Members Joined: 19th Sep, 2010 Topic: 29 Post: 1792 Age:
28
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| Posted on:7th Aug 2009, 12:39pm |
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re: Saas and Bahu Read related articles on Saas and Bahu:
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dr. Noor |
Group: Members Joined: 03rd Jun, 2009 Topic: 3 Post: 42 Age:
32
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| Posted on:7th Aug 2009, 2:32pm |
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Thanx for the advice... A few comments felt like a bit harsh...
but I appreciate your advice..
i have a question...
can u feel someone who is constantly picking on your mistakes to be your mother...
her bunda bahu ko kehta hai k saas ko maa samjhay...
apni maa k ilawa kisi aur se aap wo daant kha saktay hain? without being hurt..
wo sub jo maa baap hamain keh laitay hain, wohi agar koi aur bunda kahay to kaisa lagay ga?
Bura aur insulting...
maa baap k saath relation us muhabbat k baad boht strong ho gaya hota hai, jo wo hamain paaltay huay detay hain..
meri shaadi ko 3 saal ho gaey hain...
in 3 saalo may mein ne aaj tuk un se misbehave nahi kia, kabhi palat ker jawab nahi dia...
she started right on the day of my marriage telling me abt the mistakes of my family on this marriage ceremony...
can u feel like u feel for your mother for someone who never loved u, took care of u, never cared for your feelings and insulted u in front of everyone?
i dont want to discuss my personal matters so openly, so i wont go in detail..
i was actually very frustrated today and that's why i thought shayd koi mjhay tasalli day, hosla day, koi advice day..
plz save me from hearing again and again that i should feel her to be my mother.. my mother died a few months before my marriage.. she never insulted me in front of everyone, she told me my mistakes in private.. she never ruined my self-respect.. she never scolded my whole family, she never pointed on my brought up..
so taali is tarha buj rahi hai.. k pichlay 3 saal se mein khamosh hoon.. aur aglay 30 saal bhi mera misbehave kernay ka koi irada nahi...
i just try to give my best to my home...
just want some tasalli, some advice on how to handle the stress... which is ongoing...
thanx!
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Bewaqoof |
Group: Members Joined: 19th Sep, 2010 Topic: 249 Post: 4259 Age:
38
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| Posted on:8th Aug 2009, 5:53am |
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re: saas aur bahoo aap ke ghar mai aap ke ilawah bhi koi bahoo hai? agar hai tu phir bataye keh aap ki saas ka on se behavior bhi same hai jaisa keh aap ke saath hai. agar same hai tu iss ka matlab yeh hai keh aap ki saas ki personality hi aisi hai, ab zahir hai keh iss age mai kisi ki personality tu change nahi ho sakti. aur agar os ka behavior doosri bahoo se achcha hai aur aap se kharab tu phir iss baat per ghor kerna pare ga keh iss ki asal wajah kia hai.
kia aap ki sister in laws bhi hai? agar hai tu bataye keh aap ki saas ka behavior os ke saath kaisa hai? nez yeh bhi batai keh os ka behavior aap ke saath kaisa hai?
sab se important sawal yeh hai keh aap ke husband kis ka saath dete hai? aap ka ya aap ki saas ka? aap ka saath dene ka yeh matlab bhi nahi keh woh apni mother se bad-zubani aur bad-kalami bhi karte ho? just iss baat se agree kerte ho keh aap se na-jaiz mis behave kia jaa raha hai.
aap jab tak thori tafseel nahi bataye gi, os waqt tak aap ko koi proper mashwara nahi mil sake ga.
waise bhi mera khyal hai keh abhi kuch member jo achcha mashwarah de sakte/sakti hai on ki nazar aap ke iss post per nahi pari. aap regular apne iss thread ko visit kerti rahe, insha-allah aap ko koi munasib mashwarah mil jaaye ga.
waise mera mashwarah hai keh aap Del Karnegi ki book : meethe bol mai jaado read kare, os mai bahut saare tips and trick mil jaaye ge, jis se aap ki saas ka behavior aap ke liye change ho jaaye ga. |
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dr. Noor |
Group: Members Joined: 03rd Jun, 2009 Topic: 3 Post: 42 Age:
32
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| Posted on:8th Aug 2009, 9:49pm |
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Thanx for such a kind word... Meri dewar ke wife hai.. she is the 2nd bahu..
initially when she came, my saas said from the first day, that she is an ideal bahu... some of the senior ladies of family told me that this is a trick of many saas.. that if they say 2nd bahu is perfect, it means 1st is automatically proved to be bad.. and saas was good.. and she was telling the truth..
and after sometime, saas tries to prove that 2nd one is also bad..
so i kept on waiting.. and the time came.. now she says both her bahu's are the worst and most cunnig girls on this earth..
However, when we both are present, she admires her, loves and cares for her and ignores me as i am not present there..
well, another factor that some of my cousins tell me after she insults me in front of them is that she is my Chachi.. who never let any of her susraali's enter her home.. now she has me , all the time in her home, married to her most educated son.. so she can't tolerate it as i am the daughter of her Dewar.. a susraali rishta daar..
my sister-in-law are two.. elder one keeps telling everyone that i am really bad.. the younger one is a very good childhood friend of mine..
she keeps defending me..
plz help me deal with this lady.. she is very difficult to deal.. and whenever anyone tells her about someone who is kind in her speaking, she says such people are hidden anemies.. or they are scared of her..
if i am good, she will prove it is just because of the fact that she has proper control on me.. and she keeps me in my boundaries.. and i am very cunning otherwise..
if my husband says that i am patient and respectful, she says he can't see anyone else than his wife.. and i keep on brain washing him against his family..
its all so complicated.. i don't think anyone will believe me.. that's why i do not tell anyone in real life..
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sunny007 |
Group: Members Joined: 22nd Dec, 2007 Topic: 44 Post: 4216 Age:
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| Posted on:9th Aug 2009, 3:57am |
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dr.noor well, yeh sab parh kar to mujhe kuch chakkar sa aa raha hai.... kuch samaj nahi aata k kia kahoon........ mere kuch kehne se kuch hoga bhi ya nahi......
bas meri zehen main ek hi solution hai, may bhi aap ko kuch ajeeb lage, lekin main ne es k practical result dekhe hian.... shoro main bardasht karte karte aadmi tang aa jata hai, lekin Allah ki taraf se zaroor koi na koi khushkhabri aati hai................
es ka simple hal yeh hai, k jo faraiez aap k hain us ghar ki khidmat k, bas usi ko poora karne ki koshish karo,,,, agla banda jo chahe kar le...... shaied aap ko yeh bhi sun'na pare k aap yeh sab dikhawe k lie kar rahi hai, but u have to ignore all these words........ agar saamne wale laakh koshish kare k doosron k nazron k saamne aap ka image kharab ho jaie, lekin agar Allah ki nazron mian aap perfect hongi, aur khud ki nazron mian image aap ka behtar hoga, tab tak koi aap ka kuch nahi bigaar sakta.......
ek baat aur, aise moqe par koi kisi ka saath nahi deta, es dunia main koi kisi ka ghar hansta basta dekh kar tab tak chain se nahi beth'ta jab tak koi angaara us main na lagaie.... aur aap ki situation to aisi hai k agar aap kuch kahe bhi to koi aap ka yaqeen nahi karega.......
main brotherly aap ko advise karta hoon k aap apni zindagi poori ki poori islamic tareeqe se guzaare..... aap k zimme us ghar k jitne bhi faraiez hain woh waqt par niptaie,,,,, shoro'at main mushkilaat hongi, lekin baad main sab aap hi k tareef karenge,,,,, filhaal kisi bhi baat ka palat kar jawab mat dejie....
baaqi aap apni ghar ki situation ko jaanti hain, aap behtar samajogi....
take care... Allah aap ko sab museebaton se nikaal le.... Ameeen |
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saim1 |
Group: Members Joined: 23rd May, 2008 Topic: 43 Post: 2155 Age:
35
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| Posted on:9th Aug 2009, 4:14am |
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noor do you live with your sas?
if you live with her,then i know it's hard to deal but if you don't live with her just ignore her coments and keep your self busy,pray to Allah and everything will be fine
just give your best to your husband and your kidds
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waseem08 |
Group: Members Joined: 27th Apr, 2009 Topic: 13 Post: 1304 Age:
31
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| Posted on:9th Aug 2009, 5:45am |
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noor baji salaam ouper k reply read kiye apki problem koi samjhe ya na samjhe waseem08 ko samajh me aagy.DEKHEN MERA MUSHWARA HY K:
agr apme chop chap unki bateb tane,be ezzati krna,bat bat pe bura bhala khedena,wagira wagira sehlene kii bardasht hy to sehti len AALLAH AAZZAWAJAL apko iss ka bharpor ajar aata frmayegaa.
likin agr apme bardasht ny to ya ab bardasht se bahir hy to ap apne shuher se alg ghr ki dimund kr sakti hy ye apka huq hy or ap k shuher pr wajib hy.
ek zaroori bat k alg ghr ki surat me beta apne waleden ki frmabrdari me na chuke wrna ek wajib ada krne me bhut bare frdd ko na kr k apni aakhirat barbaad krle iss k liye ap aledah hone ki surat me un se saas susar se apna rishta wese hi banay rakhe or shuher ko b ghaflat se ba chy rakhen.
salaam. |
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Bewaqoof |
Group: Members Joined: 19th Sep, 2010 Topic: 249 Post: 4259 Age:
38
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| Posted on:9th Aug 2009, 6:40am |
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Saas Ko Qaboo Kerne Ka Trick No: I aap ki saas mai hazaro khamio ke saath saath koi na koi khoobi bhi zaroor hogi, aap os khoobi ko talash kare aur jab bhi moqa mile on ki os khoobi ko on ki ghair mojoodgi mai doosro ko batai, koi na koi on se yeh zikir zaroor kare ga/gi keh os ki bahoo os ke liye aik achchi feeling rakhti hai aur doosre logo mai bhi os ki publicity kerti hai tu os ke dil mai aap ke liye soft corner paida hona shuru ho jaaye ga.
doosri taraf aap dil mai ahad ker le ke kuch bhi ho jaaye aap apni saas ki khamio ko kisi aur ke saamne bayan nahi kare gi.
aap filhal iss trick no - 1 per amal kare, jald hi mazeed trick bhi bataya jaaye ga. |
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dr. Noor |
Group: Members Joined: 03rd Jun, 2009 Topic: 3 Post: 42 Age:
32
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| Posted on:9th Aug 2009, 10:14am |
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Thanx a lot Sunny, Saim , Waseem.. and Bewaqooof... Aap sub ka boht boht shukriya...
Bewaqoof bhai! aapka naam laina boht ajeeb sa lagta hai.. ye id aap ne q rukha hai..
aap itnay bewaqoof lagtay to nahi.. k apnay naam k saath he laga daalain..
:)
mein apni saas k sath nahi rehti.. abroad rehti hoon..
aur bewaqoof ke trick really achi lag rahi hai.. i will try...
aur baqi sub ka islamic point of view se samjhanay ka boht shukriya..\
Jazak Allah!
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sunny007 |
Group: Members Joined: 22nd Dec, 2007 Topic: 44 Post: 4216 Age:
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| Posted on:9th Aug 2009, 11:07pm |
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dr.noor u most wellcome...
by the way, jab aap abroad rehti hain to phir q es sar dard k le kar pareshan rehti hain....? es situation main saim ki advice bilkul fit hai..... try to obey her...
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sunehri76 |
Group: Members Joined: 04th Aug, 2007 Topic: 99 Post: 4638 Age:
37
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| Posted on:9th Aug 2009, 11:24pm |
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dr noor jab ap apni saas ke sath rehti hi nahi ti phir kyoon itne massle ho rahe hain??
apki saas jahan bhi hain..ap unhe ignore karti rahain aur apni life enjoy karain
kya faida aise sarrne se aur soch soch ke khud ko pareshan karne se.
asal massla to tab hota jab ap saas ke sath reh rahi hotin.
meri saas bohat achi hain,unhon ne kabhi mere bare koi nagativ bat nahi ki,na hi kabhi mere lye problem create kiya hai.
lekin phir bhi i know ke saas ke sath rehna koi asaan kam nahi hai...bohat se massle hote hain.
ap sath nahi rehti to ye apki nazar me apke lye khush kismati honi chahye apkii...ap phir bhi tention me mubtalaah hain?
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waseem08 |
Group: Members Joined: 27th Apr, 2009 Topic: 13 Post: 1304 Age:
31
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| Posted on:9th Aug 2009, 1:07pm |
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noor baji salaam mein apni saas k sath nahi rehti.. abroad rehti hoon..
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
phele bata dia hota na. |
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dr. Noor |
Group: Members Joined: 03rd Jun, 2009 Topic: 3 Post: 42 Age:
32
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| Posted on:9th Aug 2009, 9:59pm |
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i have to go back every year.. actually saal may almost 2 months pakistan jati hoon... aur unkay asraat se sara baqi ka saal bhi boht mushkil ho jata hai..
another thing is that mein abhi kuch din pehlay he wapis ai hoon...
unkay saath 2 months guzaar kay...
it was really tough.. as Sunehri mentioned...
pakistan ja ker bhi mein ne bus ghar sambhalna hota hai.. maikay jana bhi possible nahi hota..
but i enjoyed Waseem bhai's comments...
actually another thing is that we, the ladies are always more sensitive to criticism and everything as compared to men..
i mean a man won't bother a lot if someone keeps saying bad words abt him at his back (when most of the people know that these bad things are lies)
but wo kehtay hain na...
aurat doctor bun jaey ya PhD bhi ker jaey to bhi hoti bechari aurat he hai..
so i know i will spend 2 more months thinking abt these things...
thanx all!
i really enjoy discussing things here which i can never discuss otherwise...
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dr. Noor |
Group: Members Joined: 03rd Jun, 2009 Topic: 3 Post: 42 Age:
32
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| Posted on:9th Aug 2009, 10:33pm |
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Actually i want to win her heart... its becoming challenging now..
mera dil kerta hai k jis zabaan se wo mjhay itna bura bhala kehti hain, isi se wo sub ko kahain k mein boht achi hoon..
i mean wo sub baattain jo mein ne kabhi nahi kaheen, aur wo sub ko kehti hain k mein ne unhain ye sub kaha.. phir wo her aik ko, meri behno tuk ko ajeeb se comments sunati hain k wo to tumharay baray may aisay keh rahi the..
to mein sochti hoon k ya to mein utni he buri bun jaoon.. ya phir abhi wali position se zyada achi..
koi to aisa tareeqa ho ga k mein unkay samnay apna aap acha sabit ker sakoon.. bulkay unsay munwa sakoon..
still keeping my self-respect..
i hope u all understand my point..
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saim1 |
Group: Members Joined: 23rd May, 2008 Topic: 43 Post: 2155 Age:
35
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| Posted on:9th Aug 2009, 11:18pm |
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Dr noor bus app un key sath achi karti rahien,kabhi tu unhey ahsas ho ga
or agar unhey ahsas na bhi howa tu kiya faraq parta hey,Allah tu dekh raha hey na,appko Allah ajar dey ga
kabhi kabhi kuch logo ko un key hall par hi chor dena behtar hota hey |
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goodman |
Group: Members Joined: 11th Oct, 2007 Topic: 59 Post: 7344 Age:
32
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| Blocked |
| Posted on:10th Aug 2009, 12:41am |
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ok dr noor ap ke batay be achi ha but i agree with miss saim jee also.......wasay aurat koo yeah problem hamesha say rahi ha kay jab woo bahoo banti ha to uskoo SAS achi nahi milti aur jab woo khud Sass banti ha to uskoo BAHOO achi nahi milti.............yeah to silsala assay he chalta rahay ga par ap seprate ha aur job be ker rahi ha...........to ap kay liyay itna problem nahi hona chahay..........lagta ha ap kee SAS kafi professional ha............. |
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saim1 |
Group: Members Joined: 23rd May, 2008 Topic: 43 Post: 2155 Age:
35
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| Posted on:10th Aug 2009, 12:49am |
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goodman heeee heee
profesional sas
yeah pahli bar suna hey
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