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sunehri76 |
Group: Members Joined: 04th Aug, 2007 Topic: 96 Post: 4587 Age:
36
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| Posted on:13th Jul 2011, 6:11am |
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 Why This Boy Is Delaying Marriage?
Ek Ladka hai, jiski age 20 hai. Europe me rehta hai. uski sisters usko kehti hain ke hum tumhari mangni Khala ki beti se karna chahte hain (jo Pakistan me rehti hai), agar tumhe wo Pasand hai to phir bata do...
Ladka kehta hai ke use wo ladki pasand hai. is tarah uski Mangni ki jati hai...(only Family members ke sath) jis din Ladke ki Mangni hoti hai, us din us Ladke ka apne Doston ke sath bahir jane ka Program bana hua hota hai...lekin uski family usse kehti hai ke aj tumhari mangni hai, ghar me mehmaan a rahe hain lehaza use bahir nikalne nahi diya jata...
Mangni ke waqt Ladke ka Mood off hai. na hi usne Kapde badle. ye Reaction uska islye hai kyoonke usse uske Doston ke sath bahir nahi jane diya gaya...
Question...apke zehan me kya ata hai ke Ladke ko kya Problem hai ??
Mangni ko ek sal se ziada hua hota hai..aksar usko uski sisters yad karwati rehti hain ke use apni mangetar ko kabhi kabhar fone kar lena chahye.Ladka kehta hai ke han karunga lekin wo fone nahi karta... Ghar wale is bat se khaufzada rehte hain ke kahin uski marzi wahan shadi karne ki na ho..use bar bar poocha bhi jata hai ,lekin ladka har dafa is bat ko talta hai aur kehta hai ke use koi aitraz nahi ...phir ghar walon ko kehne pe ek do bar use fone kar deta hai..lekin uske bad phir fone nahi karta....kabhi kabhi ladka kehta hai ke wo use janta hi nahi thik se etc..
iske bad uski family use Pakistan bhi le kar jati hai is maksad se ke wo Ladki ko ek bar phir se dekh bhi le aur thodi si us se bat karle take uska ye aitraz khatam ho ke wo use janta nahi hai ...
Phir Mangni ke 3 sal bad Ladke se pooch ke uska Nikah kiya jata hai ...Nikah se pehle uski family us se phir ek bar poochti hai ke agar uski marzi kahin aur hai to ab bhi bata de,,,lekin Ladka apni razamandi zahir karta hai ..(Ladka ye achi tarah se janta hia ke uski sisters aur mother us Ladki ko bohat pasand karti hain aur rishte se inkaar se narazgi paida ho sakti hai )
Nikaah ke bad 5 mahine bad Ladki ka fone uski sister ko ata hai .,,,wo roti hai aur poochti hai ke kya uski marzi nahi hai ? agar uski marzi nahi hai to wo ata de...Ladki ka kehna hoi ke usne kabhi mujhse Contact karne ki koshish nahi ki...uska kehna hai ke ab wo uski wife hai ...aur uski family bhi pareshan hai is bat se...
Ghar wale ladke ko bitha kar poochte hain ..use samjhate bhi hain ke ab tumhari shadi ho chuki hai..Rukhsati sirf ek Rasam hai ...qanoonan wo tumhari biwi hai ,aur tumhare kuch faraiz bante hain ...Ladka kehta hai ke use time nahi milta fone karne ka ,,,wo 6 baje kam se ata hai ..etc..sisters uske aitraz pe jawab deti hain ke kam se a kar tum Doston se bhi milne ja sakte ho to kya apni biwi ko fone nahi kar sakte ...
Barhal Ladka uske bad ek do week bad use fone karta hai ...lekin uski behnain ab bhi parehsna hain ke kahin uski marzi nahi hai ...akhir wo apni shool friends se bhi contact me rehta hai to apni wife ko tawaja kyoon nahi deta ??? wo is bat se bhi Pareshan hain ke wo shadi ke bad us Ladki se apna yehi rookha rawaya na rakhe ...aur rishta tootne ki surat me Ladki ke sath Ziadti hai ... aur behnon ke rishte me bhi Daraar a sakti hai...
Ladka Shadi ke lye jaldi razi bhi nahi ha i...wajuhat uske ye hain ke mere pas abhi ziada paisa nahi ...mai abhi apni life enjoy karna chahta hoon...mai abhi young hun...meri umar ke ladkon ne abhi tak shadi nahi ki..(.Ladki ki ab age 22 hai.) uski family usko samjhati hai ke shadi ke bad bhi life isi tarah enjoy ki ja sakti hai... aur misalain deti hain un lakdon ki jinhon ne Jaldi shadi ki hai use samjhane ke lye ke wo wahid nahi hai ... Ladke ko razi kiya jata hai ke 2012 ke end pe uski shadi karni hai ...
what you think about this setuation?? Kya is ladke ki marzi nahi hai ? ya phir wo abhi tak itna mature nahi hai ??? ya phir kuch Ladke aise hote hain jo mangni ke bawjood us ladki se iitna iterest show nahi karte.??
aisa kya karna chahye ke ye rishta kaim rahe aur in me Pyar barhe ??
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myrizvi |
Group: Members Joined: 20th Apr, 2008 Topic: 107 Post: 5601 Age:
53
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| Posted on:13th Jul 2011, 6:25am |
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hmmm 1. dard.naak /afsosnaak story hai.... mera zaat khayaal hai k aisay mangetar say sirf NIKAAH nahi karna chaahiyeh thaa...agar laRka nikaah+rukhsati aik saath nahi karnaa chaahtaa thaa to nikaah hi nahi karna chahaiyeh thaa.
2. awwal to mangni aur nikaah main saalouN ka gap karnaa hi ghalat hai...balkay aj kal k daur maiN mangni hi ghalat hai illah yeh k ...mangni => nikaah => rukhsati tarteeb waar aur aik aadh maheenah k ander ander hojayaiN... mangni k baad saaloun ka gap aur woh bhi jab laRkaa foriegn main ho to .......iska anjaam ...khakam bah dahan...amooman acha nahi hota
3. goya iss story main 2 ghalaitiyaan hochuki haiN... for so long period k liyeh mangni karna hi ghalat thaaa..... mangni periods main laRkay ka behaviour -ve dekh kar nikaah without rukhsati nahi karna thaa...its 2nd ghalati.... ab teesri ghalati yeh nah ki jaa.ay k rukhsati k baad larkay aksay behave karegaa.... as soon as rukhsati kardi jaa.ay........... aur agar larka fauran rukhsati par raazi nah ho to oss say 2 Tok baat ki jaa.ay k yaa rukhsati yaa talaaq
4. kahtay hain k jab koi problem elastic ki tarah khichnay lagay to iss elasticity wali problem ko kill kardia .aajay aur iss say paidaa honay wali new problem ko face karnay k liyeh tayyar raha jaa.ay |
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myrizvi |
Group: Members Joined: 20th Apr, 2008 Topic: 107 Post: 5601 Age:
53
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| Posted on:13th Jul 2011, 6:33am |
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cont... 5. yahaan par iss problem ko 2 tarah say kill kia jasakta hai 1) fauran rukhsati kardi jaa.ay aur laRki ko maidaanay amal maiN bhej dia jaa.ay taakay woh apni salahiyyat ko baroo.e.kaar laa kar laRkay ko change kar sakay..... 2) agar larka raazi nah ho to warning /notice 4 shortest period day kar nikaah tor dia jaa.ay...talaaq /kholaa k zariyah.......
6. iss tarah "maujoodah problem /tension" ka khatemah hojayega aur aik new problem "paida' hojayegi.... rukhsati ki soorat main larki k liyeh k woh kiss tarah apnay husband ko apnay say qareeb karti hai...talaaq ki soorat main laRki k parents k saamnay k woh new sooratay haal main larki ka new rioshtah kaisay Dhoondtay hain
7. meri zaati roy maiN agar laRka fauran rukhsati par agree nahi kartaa to ossay mazeed waqt dena fazool hai... woh unmature hargiz nahi hai aur nah hi nadaan o bewaqoof /sadah...... ain mumkin hai k oska chakkar kissi aur larki say ho aur woh mahaz apnay khandaan ki wajah say chup hai.
8. aik bold step othaa kar hi iss sooratay haal say niklaa jasakta hai....Allah oss larki par raham karay aur ossay iss moseebat say nijaat dilaa.ay aameen
9. aik baat zimnan poochna chaahounga k kaheen laRka aur laRki mokhtalif maslak /religion say to talluq nahi rakhtay??? |
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sunehri76 |
Group: Members Joined: 04th Aug, 2007 Topic: 96 Post: 4587 Age:
36
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| Posted on:13th Jul 2011, 6:56am |
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myrizvi 1) mai khud is Haq me nahi hun ke itna arsa magni rahe .
2) Nikah islye kiya gaya ,kyoonke Ladke ne us Ladko ko bulane kye lye aplication deni hai ,wo Nikah ke beghair mumkin nahi ,...aur jis country Ladki ne ana hai uske lye Ladki ko uska Language corse karna hoga Pk me hi ...wo bhi Nikah ke beghair mumkin nahi .
3) Plan ye tha ke 2012 sari Family Pk jayegi aur wahan uski family bhi complte shadi me shamil hogi aur Ladke ki bhi
5)aisa kiya ja sakta hai ...balke aisa socha bhi gaya tha lekin sath me ye khauf bhi hai kyoonke Ladka jaldi shadi pe razi nahi tha.aur use mushkil se 2012 october razi kiya gaya hai shadi ke lye...agar aise me usko kaha jaye ke ab shadi us se pehle ki jayegi ..yani march (is se pehle mumkin nahi hai ) to wo pehle shor to machahyega lekin phir agar khamosh ho kar shadi kar bhi le to kahin sara ghussa us ladki pe na utare ya us se chid na jaye...
6) yehi problem hai ...ke Ladke wale uski family ko ye is waqt kaise batayen ke unhe shak hai ke ladka razi nahi hai ..aur unke lye kitna mushkil ho jayega uske lye dobara rishta dhoondna ...sab kahenge ke 3 sal mangni rahi ek sal nikah to shadi kyoon nahi hui...ye us ladki ke lye ek Negativ Point ban sakta hai ...jo ke nahi hona chahye..
7) aisa bhi mumkin hai ... europe ke mahol ka to sab ko pata hai islye aisa bhi mumkin hai lekin phir bhi samajh nahi ata ke ladka phir batata kyoon nahi hai ...us se pooche beghair na mangni ki gayi .na hi us se pooche beghair Nikah kiya gaya..lekin uska Rawaya bhi normal nahi hai..
8) ameen
9) nahi ...
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myrizvi |
Group: Members Joined: 20th Apr, 2008 Topic: 107 Post: 5601 Age:
53
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| Posted on:13th Jul 2011, 7:18am |
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hmmm Allah khair karay...ab kia kia jasakta hai...iss sooratay haal maiN to bas intezaar hi kia jasakta hai aur Allah say dua ki jasakti hai........but yeh hargiz nah samjhna chahaiyeh k laRka unmature hai... aur worst qism ki sooratay haal k liyeh laRki /oski family ko mentally tayyar rahna chaahiyeh.... taakay agar khoda nah khaastah agar koi worst sooratay haal saamnay aa.ay to ap pahlay say tayyar houN... iss tarah dukh kam hota hai aur face karnay maiN asaani bhi |
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Iqra_alone |
Group: Members Joined: 02nd Jul, 2011 Topic: 15 Post: 153 Age:
22
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| Posted on:13th Jul 2011, 11:30pm |
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sunehri Ye sab confusion hai |
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Mr.Confuse |
Group: Members Joined: 31st Jan, 2011 Topic: 1 Post: 158 Age:
31
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| Posted on:14th Jul 2011, 4:47am |
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Why This Boy Is Delaying Marriage? Assalam O Alaikum,
Dear Iqra,
Kia confusion hai? |
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H/dr_Qasim |
Group: Members Joined: 10th Sep, 2010 Topic: 181 Post: 6152 Age:
34
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| Posted on:14th Jul 2011, 5:14am |
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Why This Boy Is Delaying Marriage? Jub koi cheez plate meah rukh kur payssh kur dee jay koi moshkil , koi tuq o doh na ho, koi Tragedy na ho tu oski luzzut muzza suroor ni ataa jo cheenaa chupti or jaan maar kur kurny meah aata, abi ap logo ny os lurky ki munghni be khod kur de, oska nikhaa b khod kur deya jub apkp puta oska intrest ni, yeh bat buri sochny kay Layiq hay kay oski eng hay or woh baher ghoomny ka program bunaa ra hy, woh ku ni dosto ko bolataa kay ao meri eng hay aj
Oper say ap logo nay dosri ghulti kur de jo Nikah kur deya, abi yaa tu on dono ko apuss meah koch rehny ka moqaah dain woh ek dosry ko janin, agur woh pher beh ek dosry ko napusund kurty hen tu divorce lay lain or apni ni zindghi start kurin, ku kay abi woh husband wife hen onko ek sath bina shadi kay koch time gozarny ka moqaah dain, woh jan jain ek dosry ko , agur jan pachan or mohabat pyada ho jati tu uzduwaaji zindghi strat kurin wurnaa wohain say wapis, |
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sunehri76 |
Group: Members Joined: 04th Aug, 2007 Topic: 96 Post: 4587 Age:
36
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| Posted on:14th Jul 2011, 8:37am |
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Dr Qasim Jis din Mangni thi us din agar Ladka bahir jane ki bat kare to ye bat zaroor sochne laiq hai ...jis waqt Ghar me mehman ho ,aisa kaise kiya ja sakta hai ke mangni nahi hogi ? jabke Ladki ko pehle se hi angothi pehnayi ja chuki thi ...ye to bas ek formality thi...
isse ladke ka sirf laparwahi samjhi gayi ...kyoonke mangni uski marzi se hui,usne khud kaha ke use wo pasand hai...socha sirf ye gaya ke ye Pakistan ke mahol se wakif nahi hai aur is cheez ki importans ko nahi samajhta...
Doston ke lye wo aksar pehle bhi parents se naraz ho jata raha..agar use kisi dost ke sath der tak bahir rehne se mana kiya jata...lekin ye koi itni serious bat bhi nahi ke ye socha jata ke ladka is ladki se magni ka khwaishmand nahi hai ...is Had tak us waqt kisi ne socha nahi ...
actually ye masla kisi aur ka nahi hai mere apne Ghar ka hai ... ye sara masla mere bhai ka hai...jab mere Father bemar the tab usne ek bar khud kaha tha ke wo unki Zindagi me hi shadi karna chahta hai...lekin Halat bohat jaldi badal gaye ,..Father ki Death ke kuch arse bad jab wo abhi kuch emotional tha.. .. to usne khud kaha ke mai jaldi shadi karna chahta hun...i dont know usne ye kyoon kaha...shahid us waqt use apni mother ka ehsas hua hoga...ke wo akaili hai...
mangni ke bad jab hum use fone karne ko kehte the to mere husband ne mujhe hamesha mana kiya. ke use mat kaho ...zaroori nahi hai wo us se bat kare...etc...to phir maine use kehna chod bhi diya. yehi soch ke ke ek to use chid na ho jaye, dusra ye ke agar use khud apni zimedari ka ehsas nahi hai to aisa Zabardasti hum uske andar paida nahi kar sakte...
Phir Nikaah bhi use pooch ke kiya gaya...agar uski marzi na hoti to uske pas ye option thi ke wo inkaar karta...
Dr Qasim ...apka kya matlab hai unko jan.ne dain ?? kisi ko jan.ne ke lye usse bat karni padti hai ... usse fone karna padta hai ...aur na fone karke hal chal pooch ke fone band. .... mere bhai ne kayi bar kaha tha ke use wahan net lagwa do... lekin ladki walon ke halat aise nahi hain ke wo net lagwa sake... hum sab ne mil kar lagwane ka socha zaroor hai ...lekin ab to wo 8-9 mahine me a jayegi yahan...
he is 22 now..but use apni kisi zimmedari ka ehsas nahi hai...usko itna samjhaya bhi hai ...ke abu sare kam sambhalte the...paperwork etc...wo ami nahi kar saktin use ab ye zimedariyan sambhalni hongi ...meri sisiter kab tak karegi uske apne bhi bache hain ... i dont know wo aise kyoon hain...use kyoon har waqt doston ki padi rehti hai ... pehle to abu the jinki wo sun bhi leta tha aur darta bhi tha lekin ab to koi bhi nahi hai ...
i think ab hum dua hi kar sakte hain ... aisa bhi mumkin hai jab wo yahan a jaye to tab usko kuch zimmedari ka ehsas ho...
mai nahi chahti ke rishta toote...agar aisa hua to i am sure mai apne bhai se har kisam ka taluk tod dungi...wo Ladki meri sirf Khala ki beti nahi hai ,mere jhet ki beti bhi hai...
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DrKamiAli |
Group: Members Joined: 12th May, 2011 Topic: 1 Post: 377 Age:
31
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| Posted on:14th Jul 2011, 9:21am |
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@Sunehri
Ham aap ki pareshani ko samajh saktay hain. Situation waqai preishan kun hai. Asal me aajkal kayi larkay is soch ko rakhtay hain, k wo zindagi zayada deir tak alehda enjoy karna chahtay hain. Wo nahi chahtay k itni jaldi ye responsibilities lay lein apnay ooper. Aur kayi larkon ki psychology me ye baat shamil hoti hai k wo apni "boyish" life yani apnay friends k sath enjoyment wagera ko bohat zayada like krtay hain. Aur aisay larkay even shadi k baad bhi eak baat apni wife ko clear kartay hain k ma hamari married life ki waja say apnay social circle par koi effect nahi aanay dunga. Tau ye nature aajkal bohat say larkon mein paayi jati hai. Laikin ab aap nay jo situation btayi hai us me problem ye hai k isi soch k ek boy (yani aap kay bhai) nay is age me nikaah kar lia huwa hai. Otherwise behtar yeahi tha k aapkay bhai late shadi kartay matlab 27 28 ki age me at least. Ab waisay tau larki (aapki bhabi) ko andaaza ho e gaya hoga bhai ki nature ka laikin phir bhi ab unhein aaista aaista kuch had tak is k liye tayaar karna chahiye aap k bhai ki nature k mutaabiq. Mere khayal me rukhsati k baad aaista aaista aapkay bhai me maturity, responsibility aayegi. Laikin is me time lag sakta hai, itni jaldi nahi. Abhi aapkay bhai itnay mature nahi hain. Sometimes ye responsibility aur maturity shadi k bad khud bakhud jaldi aa jati hai. Laikin in many cases it takes some time. Laikin ek baat jo k rukhsati say pehlay waqai sure kar leini chahiye wo ye hai k kiya wo aapas me thek reh sakeingay. Aur larki ki especially raaye jaan leina zaroori hai. Larki ko iska thek say andaaza hona chahiye. Phir bhi agar wo is rishtay ko continue krnay k liye raazi hai tau theek hai. Kuch larkian flexible nature ki hoti hain aur wo ye period guzaar leiti hain. Laikin kuch larkion nay apnay zehan me bohat pukhta kisam k khaab sajaaye hotay hain, jin k liye mushkil hota hai is tara ki situation me guzaara karna. Tau ye baatein aapko rukhsati say pehlay deikh leni chahiyen. Kiyunkay agar rukhsati k bad problems huway tau zayada masla hai, us say behtar yeai hai k rukhsati say pehlay rishta khatam kar dia jaye taa k larki ko bhi aasaani ho ek naya rishta dhoondnay me. Meri duaa hai k masla kisi aisi nobat k bagair hal ho jaye. |
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H/dr_Qasim |
Group: Members Joined: 10th Sep, 2010 Topic: 181 Post: 6152 Age:
34
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| Posted on:14th Jul 2011, 4:40pm |
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Sonehri
Insha Alalh Wuqat kay sath sath yeh problem hul ho jay gah essy ap Issue nahi bunayin, bus Lurki ko juld say juld lay kur aayin, zimadari pury gahi theek ho jay gah, Jub lurki aaajay gahi tu woh khod theek ho jay gah, awal tu Long time kay leyeh Eng or Nikaah kurna he nahi chayeh, Allah kry apki yeh Oljan khutam ho jay, Lurky ko zimadaar bunany ki koshish kurin, osky zimaa koch kam lugana shoro kurin ap logo ny osy kholi choot de hoi thi or koi zimadaari ni rukhi osky sur jo woh essy ho gyaa, theek ho jay gah, baqi Allah Ko jo munzor, ap purashan ni hon, |
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hasna |
Group: Members Joined: 25th Apr, 2009 Topic: 39 Post: 1770 Age:
25
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| Posted on:14th Jul 2011, 8:17pm |
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sunehri sis
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sonia89 |
Group: Members Joined: 30th Mar, 2011 Topic: 6 Post: 73 Age:
26
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| Posted on:15th Jul 2011, 3:31am |
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Its not story, its reality Ji ye sab jo kuch likha hay ye wakei mein b hota hay or mein nay khud dekha hay is trha hotey huey. Ya yun keh lein k ye mera personal experience hay jo k mere sath ho chuka hay.
Jo kuch mein nay feel kia wo yehi hay k larka thora selfish type ka hay or usko har cheez se ziada apni azaadi ki fikar hay .. us nay maan behan ki bat to maan li but wo personally shadi mein interested hi nahi hay .... magar in ko itni jaldi nikah nahi krna chaiye tha ... mangni kafi thi ....
Kuch krkey apnay friends circle mein itnay involve hotey hain k un ko aisay kisi rishtey ka b khyal nahi ata .... wo basically shareef hotey hain but careless or selfish.
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hasna |
Group: Members Joined: 25th Apr, 2009 Topic: 39 Post: 1770 Age:
25
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| Posted on:15th Jul 2011, 4:34am |
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sonia u are right.................
asal me hota ye hai k choty bhai behn maa bap bhai behno k bht ladlay hoty he aur hur trah ki saholat unko muyassar ki jati hai...............jb bcha bra hojata hai to wo laperwa hojata hai aur agur usper zimedario ka bojh dal dia jaye aur hukam musalat krdia jaye to wo bhaghi hojata hai.................aur ajkal ye tkreebn hur ghur me horha hai.
muamla jo b ho agur usko solve krna hai to uski base daikhni chahye k ahir aisa ho kio rha hai.............kio k koi b aisa sawal nhi hai jiska in duniya me koi jawab nhi ho. |
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Diplomate |
Group: Members Joined: 18th Oct, 2009 Topic: 49 Post: 3155 Age:
35
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| Posted on:15th Jul 2011, 4:51am |
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 20 / 22 saal ki age
main ny yahan kisi ka reply nahi parra sirf sunehri ki title post parr kar reply kar raha hon , ho sakta hay mujhy sy pehly b kisi ny yahi batain ki hon , agar aysa ho to baat karny waly aur topic starter sy mazrat ..:)
asal main sunehri ji 20 / 22 saal ki age go k shadi k liye mozom tareen hay laiken hamry culture k hissab sy super fit age nahi hay , aap masla main chun k larrky ka taluq Europe sy hay iss liye uss main zehni pukhtagi kisi pasmanada mulk k rehny walon sy ziyada hi hogi , iss liye yeh to nahi ho sakta k ussy koi dosri larrki pasand hay aur wo apny maa baap ki izzat ki waja sy khamosh hay aur majooda mankookha ki rukhsati b nahi chahat ? nahi aysa nahi hay
mujhy aysa lagta hay larrka sexual scared hay , yeh mera zaati khiyaal hay agar possible hoti to uss larrky ko kisi mahar-e-nafsiyaat sy cheack karwaya jaye , asal main maa baap ya ird gird k log fil haal yahi samjh rahy hain k larrka shaid unn sy kuch chupa raha hay yaani koi dosri larrki waghaira , laiken mera khiyaal hay aysa nahi hay larrka Europe k azaad mahool main rehny ki waja sy zehani tor par b baligh hay aur jismani tor par b iss liye yeh nahi ho sakta k larrka apny waldain sy kuch b chupaye
phir b agar larrka kisi heel hujjat sy kaam ly raha hay to yaqeenan larrky k sath kuch medical problem hay (khuda na khuwasta) behtar yahi hay k larrky ko kisi mahar-e-nafsiyaat sy cheack karwaya jaye |
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sadil |
Group: Members Joined: 03rd Mar, 2012 Topic: 1 Post: 5 Age:
26
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| Posted on:20th Mar 2012, 8:53am |
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hansi assalam o alikumye janab larka bas nakharay kar raha hai g zara efficiency dikha raha hai g.aj kal har larka chahata hai k jaldi shadi ho jae g.waise b to larkay larkion k peechay lagay rehtay hain g.mere khayal ma wo chahta ho ga k larki par uska rohb dala rahe g pehle shadi k baat kar k larki par uska rohb kam ho jae ga g. |
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