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Gr8pal |
Group: Members Joined: 31st Jul, 2010 Topic: 6 Post: 105 Age:
29
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| Posted on:4th Nov 2010, 9:13am |
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 How To Deal With Rude In Laws?
Asalam o alaikum me aj 2nd time apna masla le kr ai hu mere last masle ko ksi ne padha bhi agr to koi response nai dya leqn plz mujhe is masle ka koi na koi solution zaroor btaye ga. Mera masla ye he k meri engagement ko 7 months ho gai hein mere in laws engagement k bd ek bar ae hein us k bd na ae na even phon kia he. Hmare han flood emergncy lgi to hm log out of station rahe ek month un hectc days me bhi unho ne phn tk nai kia sirf mere fiance ne mere bhai ko phn kia tha.Yahan ye bta du k inlaws hmare city k hi hein
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Diplomate |
Group: Members Joined: 18th Oct, 2009 Topic: 48 Post: 3152 Age:
35
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| Posted on:4th Nov 2010, 10:23pm |
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 Rude In Laws
Gr8pal: aap ki tension ka hall aap k hi batai hoi baat main chupa howa hey aap apni iss bat ko dobara sy parrain aur apni mushkil ko hall karain...:)
Originally Wrote By Gra8pal
"Me yahan ye bta du k meri ami bhi engagement k bd ek bar bhi wahan un k ghar nahi gai na phn kia he.Jb hm apne ghr wapis ae flood emergncy k to ek month guzr jane k bd akhr mujh se raha nahi gya to me ne ami se bato bato me shikayat ki k wo log na ae na phn kia to ami ne kaha Qk me nahi gai ab tk un k han to me ne kaha k ap phr Q nahi gai.To jawab dya k me jau gi leqn wo dn aj tk nahi aya 2 months guzr gai hein.Eid ul azha ane wali he wo log ab tk nai ae na meri ami gai hein ek cold war he un k beech"
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Maryam |
Group: Members Joined: 17th May, 2008 Topic: 26 Post: 4432 Age:
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| Posted on:5th Nov 2010, 4:05am |
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 How to deal with rude in laws
agreed with diplomate bhai
aap apnay dil meiN badgumani na rakhaiN . dono taraf se hi koi initiative nahi liya jaraha . aap laRki walay haiN, aap ki mother ko chahiye k khud se call karaiN ya phir zyada behtar hae k un k ghar ho ayeN agar masla waqai hi un ki taraf se hae to un k attitude se pata chal jayega. lekin yeh bhi possible hae k woh loag kisi aisi pareshani meiN hoN aur aap logoN ki taraf se contact expect kar rahay hoN .
Engagement koi relation nahi hae sirf do ghar waloN ki taraf se ki gai commitment hae isliye is meiN zyada expectations nahi rakhni chahiyeN .
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Gr8pal |
Group: Members Joined: 31st Jul, 2010 Topic: 6 Post: 105 Age:
29
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| Posted on:5th Nov 2010, 4:20am |
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 my rude in laws
Thanx Maryam nd diplomat
Pehle to apka bohat thanx k ap ne mera masla padha or mashwara dya.Diplomate bhai apki bt theek he k ami ko jana chahye masla ye he k hmari ami or hm aulad me boht ziada gap he hmari ami ne kbhi hmein khud se free nahi kya.Ye bt bhi me ne pta nahi ktni mushkil se be haya bn k ki k ap Q nahi gye phr.Chlein ami to ab jai gei leqn mera behaviour kaisa ho jb meri nanand ya sas ai.Qk mera khyal nahi ye sb hone k bd me unko apne ksi amal se bhi apni narazgi ka ehsas na dilau.Maryam engagement means shadi ka wada to ikhlaqi lehaz se unka farz tha k wo meri khairyat puchte meri ami ko na dkhte unka rishta mujh se he ami to bad me ati hein na.Unko koi prbm nai ek city k hein pta chlta rehta he dusro se.Meri 8 nanandein hein koi ek a jathj koi ek phn kr leti,ek bar to ae hein konsa 10bar ae or ami nahi gye to naraz ho gai hein.
Maryam behna
Me kb itna ziada expect kr rahi hu kia mangni k bd inlaws nai ate mlte? Kia hmare han aftr engagement eidein p dene lene ka riwaj nahi ldka ldki ko?He na? Hm ne last time eidi bheji leqn chlein unho ne eidi nahi bheji leqn kia ek phone nahi kr skte the? Mera bhai khud eidi dene gya to kia mere fiance ka ikhlaqi farz nahi tha wo eid p hmare ghar ata ya bhai ko eid wish krta mera bhai ghar me akela tha hm sb out of station the flood risk ki waja se.Wo to kayamat k dn the jb mushkil wqt me bhi koi khbr na le to ks kam k ye rishte
Im waitng 4 suggestions
Mere mere inlaws se kaisa behaviour ho un k ane p ab?Kia unko thoda kahu agr han to kaise kahu kia kahu?Agr na to kia bilkul ignore kr du k jaise kuch hua hi nahi?Ye btai plz
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Maryam |
Group: Members Joined: 17th May, 2008 Topic: 26 Post: 4432 Age:
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| Posted on:5th Nov 2010, 4:37am |
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rude in laws
Gre8pal behan
aap dil choTa na karaiN . jab koi laRki kisi se mansoob hojati hae to i know k material cheezaiN matter karaiN na karaiN susraal ki taraf se care aur pasandeed.gi ka izhaar chahti hae. aap k ghar walay un ki taraf jayeN ya woh ayeN to aap ki ammi dabay lafzoN meiN is ka izhar kar sakti haiN kyuN k yeh poori zindagi ka muamla hae. dekhaiN phir woh kiya jawab detay haiN . aur aap se meiN yehi kahoN.gi k agar woh loag atay haiN aur achay tareeqa se dobara terms baRhatay haiN to aap 1st time unhaiN muaf kar daiN aur achi tarah hi behave karaiN takay unhaiN aap ki taraf se koi weak point na milay.
wese aap ka behna kehna bohat bohat acha laga (jazakAllah :)
Diplomat
agreed
with maryam aapi...:)
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Gr8pal |
Group: Members Joined: 31st Jul, 2010 Topic: 6 Post: 105 Age:
29
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| Posted on:5th Nov 2010, 8:52am |
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in laws ki is rudeness ko ignore kr du
Thanx
Apka shukriya.Ap k kehne k mutabik zaroor amal kru gi k in laws ki is rudeness ko ignore kr du Qk galti to meri ami se bhi hui he.Khair dkhti hu ami kb jati hein ab.
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dom_man |
Group: Members Joined: 13th Mar, 2009 Topic: 67 Post: 1269 Age:
33
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| Posted on:5th Nov 2010, 12:23pm |
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In Laws aakhir aisa kiyon ker rahay thay
gr8pal
i agree with maryam. nice suggestions from her.laikin mein itna zaroor kahun ga ke aap ko aur aap kee family ko conscious rehna chayee, ke wo loag (In Laws) aakhir aisa kiyon ker rahay thay.achi tarah tassali se un se khul ke baat karain. kiyon ke shaadi ke baat ta ke koi masla na ho. Best of luck
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Gr8pal |
Group: Members Joined: 31st Jul, 2010 Topic: 6 Post: 105 Age:
29
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| Posted on:5th Nov 2010, 11:32pm |
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my in laws rudeness
Dom man
Asalam o alaikum.Meri ami to kuch nahi puchein gein i knw her very much.Baki rahi me.To kia meri nanand jb ae to kia me un se esa krne ki waja puchhu? Mujhe to kuch smjh nahi a raha maryam ne smjhaya to thodi relax hui k chlo wese hi behave kru gi leqn ap ne shadi k bd agey ki bt ki to wakai ye bt to bd me bhi chle gi.Meri sister in law (nanand) nahi to mere would b husbnd ye bt zarur krein ge mujhe btai kia ye bt me khud apni nanand se puchhu jb wo ai?
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tuba Ahmad |
Group: Members Joined: 30th Jul, 2010 Topic: 23 Post: 165 Age:
27
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| Posted on:6th Nov 2010, 1:22am |
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Gr8pal
Assalamolikum behan aapki baate sb thik hai jo bhi aapne kaha. Lakin ab sochne ki baat ye hai ki mangni ho gyi hai aur dono ghar ki izzat ka saval hai agar aapke ghar wale ya larke ke gahar wale issi trha se krte rhe to na aapke ghar walo ko aur na hi larke ke gahar walo ko kio frq parega ye sirf aapke aur aapke hone wale shohar ki life mein muskile khri kr rhi hai. Hai har larki ko bahut arman hota hai apne husband, susral se lakin hame jo bhi arman hota hai waho hume khud hasil krna parta hai. Aur ye hum jb tk nahi kr sakte jb tk hum apni susral walo ke sath achche se sath nahi nibhate. Galti aapke ammi ki bahi hai agar larke ki ammi ne kio call nahi kra tha to ek-do baar aapki ammi ko call krna chaye tha tki aapki trf se koi shikyat ka maqa nahi rahta . Lakin jo huya usse ab socne se kio fyda nahi ab ye sochna hai ki ab age kya krna hai. Aap apni susral mein jakar sb se bahut achche se pesh aoo kisi se kio gila shikwa nahi krna jo aapke dil mein baat hai usse yhi chor do aur agar aapk apni susral mein phone kr sakti hai to aap hafte mein 1 bar apni sas, nand se baat kara kro ki aapko call kre ya nahi aap ye mat dekho aap apna frz nibhao aur apni trf se sbko khushi do InshaAllah aapko uska sila jarur milega aur jo ho gya hai usse aap bhi aur ghar mein aap ammi ke jehan se in bato ko nikalva do . Besas krne se kuch hasil nahi hone wala, aur hamara farz hain logo ki aur waho bhi waho log jo aapke hone wale hai unki bato ko ignor krna sila dene wala Allah hai apni traf se sirf achcha achcha kro. Jo aapke sath ho rha hai ek waqt tha jo same hamare sath huya tha lakin frq itna huya ki mere husband ne sb kuch mere mutabiq kiya aur apne aami, papa se khud call krate the aur mere ghar meri mamme se bhi baat krte the udar se mere husband ne aur idar se mene sb kuch sahi keya aaj sila ye mila ki hum dono to bahut khush hai hi meri susral wale bhi mujhe bahut khush hai. Allah Tala aapko hamesha khushiya, chen sakun ada frmaye. (Ameen)
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Gr8pal |
Group: Members Joined: 31st Jul, 2010 Topic: 6 Post: 105 Age:
29
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| Posted on:6th Nov 2010, 4:15am |
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Thanx Tuba baji Walaikum asalam.Behna ap ne mujhe phone krne ka kaha he to esa he k hmare han esa koi riwaj nai k ldke ldkia yu phon krein.Mera fiance chlein krna chahta meri ami se bt to kr skta tha leqn us ne esa taluk bhi nahi rkha hua.Mujhe to na permision mle gi phone krne ki apni sas nanando ko na is bt ko acha smjha jata he ulta or msail bdhte hein.Ap logo ka kehna me maan leti hu k wo jb ae to me is bt ka zikr na kru leqn insani nature kahan jai?Kia me reh pau gi?Esa koi solution nahi k meri bt bhi ho jai or unko bura bhi na lge k shkwa Q kia. |
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tuba Ahmad |
Group: Members Joined: 30th Jul, 2010 Topic: 23 Post: 165 Age:
27
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| Posted on:6th Nov 2010, 5:43am |
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Javab hai Aapki shikwa ko krne ka trika bhi hai.
Aap pyar se apni sas ya kisi se bhi jisse aap shikayat krna chati hai, unse kuch is trha se khe
Ammi (Apki Sas) kya aapko meri yaad nahi ati mujhe kisi ne call nahi kra aur na hi meri khariyat li, itna waqt ho gya kio mujhse milne bhi nahi aya etc. issi trha aapke dil mein jo saval hai waho bhi un tk phuch jaege aur aapka maan bhi halka ho jega lakin jb aap ye dhekhe ki baat par baat begar rhi hai tb aap us topic par baat na kare aur baat kat kar aur batein kare.
Aur ab itna nahi socho purani batein buhal jaoo aap aur age ki khushi ka socho.
Khuda Hafiz |
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Gr8pal |
Group: Members Joined: 31st Jul, 2010 Topic: 6 Post: 105 Age:
29
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| Posted on:8th Nov 2010, 12:07pm |
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Ufff mere khuda
Asalam o alaikum.Maryam behna mere inlaws ae the eidi dene.But do u knw wat happened?Mamla ulta tha aplogo k kehne k mutabk me to ache se pesh ai or wese bhi meri himmat na hoti k koi nkhra dkhati unko pr eidi dete wqt meri nanand ne kaha k tm se hmein boht shkayat he tm muh p hmare dye saman ki tareef krti ho or bd me kehti ho pasnd nahi aya or ye k mera fiance boht guse he is bt p or usi ne kehla k bheja he meri fiance ko ja kr keh do ye.Jb k me ne esa kuch is andaz se nahi kaha tha leqn ye sach he k bt chli thi meri frnds me to me ne hste hue btaya k mere fiance ne 1st time ladies' shoppng ki he to teeno suit ek hi color k lai hein phr wo or hm pta nahi kia kia mazak krte rahe or i thnk ye bt un tk ksi ne msale lga kr pohanchai he me kia kru ab?
I admit my mistake
Mujh se galti hui agr me ne ye sb discuss kia.Pr kia ldkia ye batein
nahi krtei?I thnk ldkia to pta nahi kia kia krti hein batein mere sath
hi esa Q hua yar.Me chup kr k sunti rahi mere pas words nahi the agr
unko kehti k bt ese nahi ese thi to ami se dant pdti k tm ne esi batein
Ki Q k dusro ko moka mila shetani ka.Pr mujhe andaza nahi tha bt wahan
tk galat andaz me jai gi
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Maryam |
Group: Members Joined: 17th May, 2008 Topic: 26 Post: 4432 Age:
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| Posted on:8th Nov 2010, 12:21pm |
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dont worry chalaiN aik baat to achi hui k kam az kam asal baat ka pata chala k cold war kyuN thi . kiya aap ki friends ka un logoN k sath ana jana hae ya kisi aise banday k samnay baat hui jo un tak baat pohnchata ? agar aap k mind meiN aisa koi ata hae to sab se pehlay to aap un k samnay dobara aisi koi baat ya mazaq na karaiN . apni nandoN ko aap keh sakti haiN k aap ne aisi koi baat nahi ki balkay aap ne apni friends se isliye baat ki k aap ko acha laga k aap k fiance ne first time aap k liye shopping ki . aap unhaiN yeh bhi kahaiN k agar kabhi koi aisi baat karay jo unhaiN nagwar guzray to woh directly aap se pooch laiN .
isi tarah aap halka sa shikwa bhi kar daiN k maiN to khud yeh soch rahi thi k aap ne phir khabar hi nahi li . jab k mujhay intezar tha . koshish karaiN k muamla achay tareeqa se solve hojaye. wese bhi yeh koi itni baRi baat nahi lekin apnay susraal k mutaliq koi bhi baat kisi k samnay discuss na karaiN . aur is k baad koshish karaiN k un logoN se intouch rahaiN takay halaat ka pata rahay .
inshAllah Allah pak behtar karega.
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Gr8pal |
Group: Members Joined: 31st Jul, 2010 Topic: 6 Post: 105 Age:
29
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| Posted on:9th Nov 2010, 12:47am |
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Maryam behna
Asalam o alaikum ji han wo un k mohale wali hein do behnei hein ek ki shadi dusre area me ho gai he 2nd un k pados me he or dur pre k relatives hein un k.Jski shadi ho gai mujhe us p shk he k us ne un logo ko btaya he Qk wo hr bar mujh se khud kred kured k puchti hr bt or ye k mere inlaws ae ya nahi me ne ek dn kaha k meri ami jai gei eidi dene to tarak kr kehne lgei tmhari ami Q jai wo log ai ye to galat bt he unko ana chahya me chup ho gai.Ap mujhe btai k ab agr koi mujh se kuch puche to unko clear kahu k mujhe is topic p bt nahi krni Qk meri ki gai batei msale lga kr wahan tk pohanchai gai hein jska faida us shetani krne wale ko hoga ya nahi pr wo mere samne a chuka he.Ap jo mshwara do?
Kia kru?
Kia mera unko btana theek he k ainda mujhe kuch dscuss nahi krna?Qk ap me se hi ye batein leak out hui hein.
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Maryam |
Group: Members Joined: 17th May, 2008 Topic: 26 Post: 4432 Age:
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| Posted on:9th Nov 2010, 7:39am |
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Gr8pal behan
aap un behnon se is mutaliq koi baat na karaiN aur ayenda woh poochaiN bhi to un k samnay hamesha susraal ki tareef karaiN . balkay aise logoN se kisi bhi qisam ki baat avoid hi karna chahiye kyuN k in se baat karo to agli baat yeh khud bana letay haiN . agar inhain directly kahaingi tab bhi yeh nahi manaiN.gi balkay baat aap k sar thop daiN.gi . agar kabhi koi pareshani hoti hae susraal k hawalay se ya koi bhi prob to best option aap ki ammi aur sisters haiN un se kahaiN warna yahaN akar discuss karaiN aap k dil ka bojh bhi halka hojayega . is k ilawa kisi friend pe itna aitbar na karaiN .
aik baat aap k haq meiN behtar hogai hae k aap ko shadi se pehlay in laRkiyoN ka pata chal gaya warna shadi k baad aisi khawateen doosroN ka ghar barbaad karnay se bhi baaz nahi atiN aur reason just zaban ka chaska (gheebat)
ab aap ko aik baat samjhana chahoNgi . aap ki pehli posts meiN aisa laga k aap apni ammi se badgumaan thiN is muamlay meiN jab k aap ki ammi ka koi qasoor hi nahi. aap apni ammi se muafi mangaiN . ya Allah pak k samnay tauba karaiN . meri pyari behan maan chahay kaisi bhi ho lekin apni aulad ka bura nahi chahti. agar bazahir aisa lagay bhi k maaN ki baat man,nay meiN aap ki bhalai nahi tab bhi apna muamla Allah pe choR kar apni ammi ki baat manaiN (islam k against nahi) Allah pak aap k liye har kaam meiN behtari farma dega aur koshish karaiN k jitna apni ammi ki duaeN lekar susraal jayeN.gi utna hi aap ki marital life achi aur khush.gawaar hogi inshAllah
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Gr8pal |
Group: Members Joined: 31st Jul, 2010 Topic: 6 Post: 105 Age:
29
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| Posted on:20th Nov 2010, 12:07pm |
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Ek or musibt
Asalam o alaikum ab ek or msla ho gya he pta nahi wo msla he bhi ya mujhe lg raha he.Meri nandein jb eidi dene ai to unho ne kaha tha k eid p ab or behnein jo me ne nahi dekhein wo mlne ai gie mujh se.Or phr jb ami gai to dubara wo wohi purana ksa saman pasnd na ane wala le kr beth gai phr ami ne meri sas se pucha k ap k han riwaj he k ldka apni sas se eid p mlne ae to meri sas ne kaha han he mera beta bhi eid p ae ga ap se mlne.
Agey sunei
To eid k dn hm ne sara dn wait kia wo log nahi ae 2nd day jb hm qurbani
ka gosht tkseem kr rahe the mere fiance a gai hmein pta nahi tha bhai ne
un se gosht le kr unhein khada kya k hmari trf wali qurbani ka gosht le
jao jb bhai ne ami se kaha k gosht dal k do to ami ne kaha use bithao
to bhai ne kaha k us k pas boht gosht he ami chup ho gai jb k ami ne jb
kaha tha to wo unko bithati na bd me na bithana ka ye reasn dya k usko
serve krne ko kuch nahi tha jb wo khud dawat de ai to hr trha ka khyal
rkhtei jb bhi wo ai arrange kr k rkhti na
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Maryam |
Group: Members Joined: 17th May, 2008 Topic: 26 Post: 4432 Age:
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| Posted on:20th Nov 2010, 3:53pm |
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Great pal behan maine aik muhawara paRha tha urdu dictionary meiN aap ki post read kar k as it is fit aya :)
maaN chahay beTi ko, beTi chahay lam dheeng (shohar) ko .
aap abhi honay walay lam dheeng ki wajah se apni amaan ji se bad gumaan na hoN . agar first day ka un logoN ne bataya tha aur nahi aye to aap loag call kar k pooch letay ya bata detay ya special dawat kar detay specific day. tab agar woh na atay ya mazirat kartay to aap loag gilla kar saktay thay .
2- agar aap k fiance aye haiN aur unhoN ne mazeed jaghoN pe janay ka uzar diya to its ok is meiN koi pareshani wali baat nahi hae. lekin akhlaqan aap k bhai ko khud se poochna ya biThana chahiye tha . pak meiN to serve karnay ka koi masla hi nahi aur kuch na bhi ho to pepsi aur tea hi serve kar li jaye. maqsad to kisi se milna hota hae. baqi agar aap k fiance sensible haiN to koi masla nahi kyuN k qurbani walay gharoN meiN aisa hota hae.
aap loag ayenda k liye zara caring hoN aur aap apni ammi ki bajaye khud se khanay pakanay ka intezam karna seekhaiN .
Allah pak se dua kiya karaiN k woh khair se aap ko azdawaji zindagi meiN laye ameen . |
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Gr8pal |
Group: Members Joined: 31st Jul, 2010 Topic: 6 Post: 105 Age:
29
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| Posted on:9th Sep 2011, 1:09am |
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Lo a gai phr hm Asalam o alaikum.New post submit krti hu pr dsplay nahi hoti hr tarika apna lya shaid ye site mere inlaws k undrcontrol he(lolz)khair mazak he ye to.Islye me dubara apni purani post hi open kr rahi hu ab dekhu admin kia krti hein. |
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Gr8pal |
Group: Members Joined: 31st Jul, 2010 Topic: 6 Post: 105 Age:
29
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| Posted on:10th Sep 2011, 1:23am |
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Whats it? Yar plz ab gusa mt dlwao pehle kaha pregnancy wali post me apna masla cntinue rkhein or ab ye thread dsplay he.Kindly meri ek hi thread dsplay krein jahan me apna masla dscuss kru roz ati hu roz ek new thread dsplay hoti he meri ye kia me kia randmly apna masla kbhi is thread me lkhu kbhi pregnancy wali me?Apko bta chuki hu mujhe pregnancy prbm nahi ab ap log meri posts read kr nahi rahe dlete krte jate hein.Agr mujhe hi smjh nahi a raha to plzzz ap hi jo mera recent prbm he usey ek jga akhta kr k dsplay krein me ek week se yahi roz dkh rahi hu aj mujhe boht gusa a raha he or jtni khush ye site dkh k hui ab utna hi ap log hurt kr rahe hein.Kia ap mere susrali ho?Hahahaha. |
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Gr8pal |
Group: Members Joined: 31st Jul, 2010 Topic: 6 Post: 105 Age:
29
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| Posted on:10th Sep 2011, 3:11am |
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AliRAJPUT bhai
Asalam o alaikum.Pehli bt to mera problem is nt related wd pregnancy any more.Mera masla ap social smjh lo married women ka smjh lo to is k lye wo pregnancy wali post is nt a right place.Ainda me isi thread me likhu gi.
Nw my recent problem
Mera current issue mere husbnd k sath he.Wo mujhe khud parast ya khbti
insan lgte hein jsko ye bt smjh nahi ati k respect begets respect.Shadi
ko 5wa month he 1st day shadi k jaise enter hue na salam kia na koi bt
suni sunai batein mujhe btane lga k fla ne meri ma ko kaha ye ldki tez
he.Fla ne mujhe kaha ye ldki tez he.
Phr kaha tm job yahan nahi fla jga kro.1st day tha me abhi rukhst ho kr
10min ai thi uski batein mujhe bumb lg rahi thein leqn me ne himmat kr k
kaha k mujhe ye sb sun kr lg raha he ap kano k boht kche hein apki apni
koi rai nahi.Itna sun ne k bd bhi mujh se shadi kr li mtlb meri
Qualities in bato se bdh k thei k logo ki shetanio ne kam nahi kya
Behr hal wo bhyanak rat guzr gai jse log suhag rat kehte hein.Subha me
ne sb kuch apni eldr sis ko btaya k me kaise rahu gi ese shks k sath jse
mujh me koi interest nahi ma bap ki izzat ka khyal he wrna me ap logo k
sath hi wapis chlti.Khair me nashta krne k lye neeche le jai gai rat me
jb wapis ai to phr wohi batein.Phr mujhe kaha k tm muh dkhai(jo logo ne
di thi.Mere husbnd ne mujhe koi muh dkhai etc nahi di.)wo tm purse me Q
rkh kr gai thei me ne utha lye hein mujhe paiso ki zrurt thi.Me khamosh
ho gai
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