How To Develop Self Esteem In Children - I

          Bachoun main self esteem kaisay develop ki ja sakti hay

Self esteem ka matlab hay ham apnay baray main kia mahsoos kertay hain aur apni skhsiyat kay baray main kis tara say sochtay hain, aur manay ya na manain doosroun kay samnay hamaray rawayay say yah baat beri aasani say zaher ho jati hay kay hamari self esteem low hay ya high hay.  Jab beray apni low self esteem ko chupanay say qasir hotay hain tu bachay tu phir bhi bachay hotay hain aur un ka rawaya tu bohat hi khula aur sab kay samnay hota hay.  Iss liay maan baap aur bahen bhai bohat aasai nay iss baat ka patta chla saktay hain kay bachay ki self esteem kiti high/low hay aur iss ko mad-e-nazer rakh ker us ski help ker saktay hain.

High aur low self esteem walay bachoun ki pahchaan iss tara say ki ja sakti hay.

High self esteem                                                  

Bachay aazadana kaam kertay hain                   

Zimadari uthatay hain       

Ager koi gussa keray tu kafi haad tak berdasht ya ignore ker saktay hain.

Apni kaamyaabi per khoosh hona jantay hain aur ussay celebrate kertay hain

Nay kaam aur nai cheesain try kertay hain

Apnay positive aur negative hyalaat aur ahsaasat ko samajtay hain

Doosroun ki madad kernay kay liay tyaar rahtay hain.                      

Aasaani say kisi ki galat baat ka aser nahi laitay aur apna acha bura samjtay hain         

Low self esteem walay bachhay inn sab batoun kay bilkul opposite hotay hain

Sab say ziada bachay ki self esteem high kernay main kis ka hath hota hay?

Iss ka aasaan sa jwaab hay kay maan aur baap ka aser sab say ziada apni aulaad per hota hay issi liay wohi apnay bachay ki self esteem ko bather bana saktay hain.

Self esteem berhanay ka tareeqa

Iss silsalay main sab say ziada  zaroori tareeqa bachay ki munasib andaaz main tareef kerna hay, j okay self esteem berhanay main sab say aham kirdaar adda kerti hay. 

1-Tareef bachhay ki sab say beri zaroorat hay: iss liay khul ker kerain

    Lahaza jab bhi moqa milay aur bachay ka koi kaam achha lagay tu ussay sirf dil main hi na tasleem kerain, balkay bachay kay samnay us ski bherpoor andaaz main tareef bhi kerain.  Hamaray yahan maan baap bachay ki khami ko tu foran uss kay samnay byaan kertay hain, lakin aisa kam hi hota hay kay bacha ager acha kaam keray tu us ski tareef bhi kertay houn.  Yahi sab say bunyaadi galti hoti hay jissay maan baap kam hi samajtay hain, balkay kabhi tu bilkul ahmiyat hi nahi daitay.  Aik bachay ko uss waqat tak patta nahi chalay ga kay aap uss kay baray main kitna achha soach rahay hain jab tak aap ussay nahi batain gay.

      Parents kay liay shyad yah tareef kerna aik choti si baat ho lakin yaad rakhain kay bachhay iss tareef ko bohat seriously laitay hain aur yah un kay liay aik hzana hoti hay.  Wo aik baar ki janay wali tareef ko apnay zahen main hamisha kay liay mahfooz ker laitay hain aur phir dil hi dil main haftoun iss baat ko yaad ker ker kay khoosh hotay rahtay hain.  Iss liay koshish kerain kay her rozebachay ki  kisi bhi choti say choti achhi aur pasandeeda baat ko bahana bana ker us ski tareef kerain. Yaqeen ker lain kay iss tara kernay ki waja say aap apnay bachay ko aik acha mutaqbil dainay ja rahay hain.

Tareef kernay ka sahee tareeqa:

Ji haan tareef bayshak tareef hi hoti hay lakin aik bachay kay liay ki janay wali tareef ka andaaz ager theek na ho tu wo bachhay ko koi haas faida nahi day gi balkay ulta ussay mazeed shermeela bana day gi.  Yah kaisay possible hay daikhyay:

Bachay kay kaam ki bajay bachay ki tareef kerna Evaluative Praise kahlata hay j okay tareef ka theek tareeqa nahi hay:

    Ager app bachay kay kisi kaam say khoosh ho ker uss ki  iss tara say tareef kertay hain kay,

  "aap tu bohat achhay ho…..shabaash ……zabardast …wagira wagaira, tu iss tara kay alfaaz bachay kay liay tareef ki bajay derasla shermindgi ka zaerya ban jatay hain.  Maslan ager aap kisi bachay ko kahian kay…..''wow, aap tu zaberdast painter ho……to wo kia kahay ga?  Sherminda ho ker yahi kahay ga kay nahi nahi, aisi koi baat nahi hay. maira dost, bhai ya koi aur muj say bhi acha painter hay.  Tu iss ka matlab hay kay bachay ko tareef say koi faida na houa.  Iss liay kay wo iss tara ki tareef say COMFERTABLE nahi mahsoos kerta.  Kayounkay deraasal aap bachay ki tareef kernay ki bajay ussay EVALUATE, yani judge ker rahay hain, aur kisi ko bhi pasand nahi hota kay ham uss ki personality ko judge kerain chahay wo achi judgement hi kayoun na ho. 

Tareef ka konsa tareeqa theek hay?

     Ab masla yah paida hota hay kay phir kia tareeqa ikhtiyaar kia jay jis ko apna ker bachay ki durast tareef ho sakay aur jo us ski self esteem main bhi izaafa keray?

    Iss baat ko samjain kay ager aik maan apnay bachy ko tareefi andaaz main kahti hay kay ……aap bohat mazboot aur taqatwer bachhay ho…….tu iss say bachay ki sel esteem main koi izaafa nahi ho raha.  Albatta ager kisi kaam ko daikh ker maan kahti hay kay……..yah saamaan bohat bhaari tha phir bhi aap nay utha lia, bohat bohat shukeria mairi madad kernay ka……..

Tu iss tara kay khul ker kahay gay jumlay say bachhay main hosla aur aitmaad paida ho ga kay mairi maan muj per bharoasa kerti hay aur main aisay kaam kernay kay qabil houn.  Phir yahi baat uss main faisla kernay ki taqat paida kerti hay kay,  achha mairi maan ka hayal hay kay main bohat mazboot houn tu ab main ainda bhi issi tara un ki aur doosroun ki help keroun ga.

Ab iss main daikhain kay pahlay wali tareef Evaluative tareef thi aur doosray wali descriptive tareef.  Aur inn ka aser bachay per aik doosray say bohat mukhtalif houa hay.

      Issi liay bachay kay liay DESCRIPTIVE PRAISE istimaal ki jay, yani kay jab us ski tareef kerain tu explain kerain kay us ski kiss HAAS baat, ya rwayay ki tareef ki ja rahi hay. 

   Iss kisam ki tareef ko ham do hisoun main taqseem ker saktay hain, pahla jis main bachay kay kaam ko tafseel say ussi kay samnay byaan kia jata hay aur doosra jis main bacha iss byan kiay gay hoi tafseel main say apni tareef kay pahloo hood hi dhoondh laita hay.

1-Parents bachay ki baat ki tareef piyaar beray andaaz main iss tara kertay hain

Example #1

….…..aaj main nay daikha hay kay aap nay mairay sath sabzi lanay main bohat madad kit hi, aap sabzi ko utha ker gher tak lay thay aur phir ussay kitchen main rakhnay main bhi mairi madad kit hi.  Aur main nay yah bhi aaj daikha hay kay aap nay wapis aa ker hood hi hath dho liay thay aur mujay bilkul kahna nahi pera……….

Example #2

……..Main nay note kia hay kay aap nay aaj beri achhi tara say apna bister hood hi subah uth ker theek kia tha aur phir choti behan ki madad bhi thi iss ka kaam hatam kernay main……

2-bacha iss tareefi andaaz ko sunnay kay baad apni tareef hood dil main kerta hay

……..wow mairi ammi nay mairi tareef ki hay kayounkay main bohat achha bacha houn, ab main ainda bhi ammi kay sath issi tara madad keroun ga aur mujay patta hay kay madad kaisay kertay hain kayounkay main samajdar hoon………….

Ab iss sari tafseel main daikhain kay maan nay bachay ko koi motay motay tareef kay alfaaz nahi kahay lakin iss kay bawajood bacha khoosh ha jata hay, aur na sirf khoosh hota hay balkay ainda kay liay bhi irada kerta hay kay main achay kaam keroun ga.  

    Swaal yah hay kay aisa kayoun hota hay?

Iss ka jwaab yah hay kay Iss kisam ki tareef bachay main khoodmukhtari aur aazadan sochnay ka hoosla paida kerti hay.  Ussay lagta hay kay wo aik zimadaar aur samajdar insaan hay aur loag uss kay kamoun say khoosh hotay hain.  Aur yahi baat us ski self esteem main izafay ki bunyaad banti hay.

    Jab bachay ki slahiyatoun per bharoasa kia jay tu wo hood apni slahiyat per bharoasa kerna shuru ker daita hay, aur apnay kaam shuru kernay, ya kisi ki madad kernay kay liay doosroun kay approval ki taraf nahi daikhta rahta.  Aisay bachay kay ander ahista ahista itna aitmaad a jata hay kay wo hood hi apnay chotay chotay faislay kernay lagta hay aur iss baat kay qabil ho jata hay kay aapnay kiay gay faislay ko tabdeel ker sakay ya uss ko durust ker sakay.  

       Aik Choata bachha ager aik drawing bana ker maan ko daita hay tu ussay yah na kahain kay ……yah beri acchi drawing hay ……..balkay drawing ki gai cheesoun ki baat kerain.  Ussay batain kay aap nay yah gher tu bohat piyara banaya hay aur inn balloons main rang bhi kitnay achay bheray hain, haas toar per peela rang mujay bohat hi pasand aaya hay, mujay khooshi hay kay aap nay yah drawing banai hay wagaira wagaira……….

   Iss sab kay liay practice ki zaroorat hay:

  Parents iss baat per hamisha khoosh hotay hain kay bachha un ka DEPENDENT rahay aur her kaam kay liay un say aa ker ijazat laini ki zaroorat mahsoos keray.  Aur iss kay sath sath wo yah bhi chahtay hain kay bachhay main sel esteem bhi ziada ho.  Tu zahen main rakhain kay sirf DESCRIPTIVE PRAISE hi aisi cheese hay kay bachhay main self esteem aur self confidence tu beray ga hi lakin iss kay sath sath wo aap ko bhi hamisha apnay kamoun main poori ahmiyat day ga aur aap ki respect bhi keray ga.

Self esteem

  Iss article ka baqi hisa main baad main post keroun gi inshallah.

re: How to develop self esteem in children

Pinkey: aap ne bahut hi achcha article post kia hai, lekin mera khial hai keh iss per reply kam mile ga. is ki wajah yeh hai ke yaha per forum ke member etni lambi post read nahi kerte.

mera mashwara hai keh aap is qisim ke article ko parts mai break ker de aur os ko is tarah post kare:

1. How to develop self esteem in children - I
2. How to develop self esteem in children - II
3. How to develop self esteem in children - III
4. How To Developed Self-Esteem In Children Part-4
5. How To Develop Self Esteem In Children Part 5
6. How to Develop Self Esteem in Children part 6

pinky

dear ab aap bhi yeh article system na shuru kardena...plzzzzzzzzzzzz

its really annoying

hmmm

aap ki baat theek hay bewaqoof ji.  Main ab aisa hi keroun gi

Billi,

Maira shuru say irada raha hay kay iss site per jis maqsad kay liay loag attay hain kisi haad tak un ki main bhi help keroun.  Pahlay mujay samaj nahi aa rahi thi kia keroun, lakin ab mujay mahsoos ho raha hay kay hamaray yahan psychological knoweldge ki kafi kammi hay issi kiay yah likh rahi hoon.  kia hyal hay theek hay na!

Good Work

How to Develop S.E P1

Bachay aazadana/indipendantly kaam kertay hain (ye to tab hi possible ha agar parents unko kuchh karnay dain,, agar bachay ko bacha samajh kar usay kuch karnay hi na dain to phir kia hona hai)

Zimadari uthatay hain (mostly parents zimadari bi nai uthanay detay aur khud hi sara kaam kar detay hain ye soch kar k bacha pareshan hoga ya thak jaey ga , to mai hi kar don)

Gusa bardasht ya ignore karna to baray sensible aur mature bachon ka kaam hai,, itni maturity kam hi bachon mai hoti hai... ismai parents ka role ye ho sakta hai k bachay ka blood nikal aya ya koi nuksan ho gaya to maa (mother)  khud bi rona na shuru karay balkay bachay ko ye kahay k kuch nai hua aur bachay ka dheyaan kisi aur taraf laganay ki koshish karay...

Success par khush hona chahiye aur celebrate karnay say confidance bi ata hai..

Naye kaam karna bi har bachay k bas ki baat nai hai, dimagh itna hoga to hi naey kaam karayga...lekin kuch bi acha kaam karay to parents should appreciate.

apnay aap ko samajhna/Self analysis karna bohat bari baaat hai, har bacha nai kar sakta.. ye to baray log nai kar paatay to bacha kahan say karayga.

Doosroun ki madad kernay kay liay tyaar rahtay hain. (han agar bacha madad karnay ki koshish karay to usay karnay dain)

Aasaani say kisi ki galat baat ka aser nahi laitay aur apna acha bura samjtay hain (mera khayal hai k bachay learning stage par hotay hain to apna acha bura samajhna itna asaan nai hota, kisi ki galat baat unko confuse kar sakti hai )

ye tamam kaam waldain k co-operation k baghair possible nahi hain.. manay dekha hai kuch parents mai ego problem bi hoti hai, wo ye samajhtay hain k mera bacha/bachi mujsay ziada behtar baat kar hi nai sakta/sakti kyonkay mai iska baap/Maa hon...yani ustaad say ustaadi nai lag sakti.. aur usay encourage karnay ki bajaey discourage kartay hain......

Josh-o-kheroush ji

       Aaap ko aaj phir koi masla ho gaya hay kia?hahahhahahaaa, itnay din baad nazer aay hain aur wo bhi aisay kay ammi nay lagta hay thanday thanday paani say theek thaak nahlaya hay, :D:D::D:D:D:  lol

 aaap kay bachay houn gay tu patta chalay ga kay 4,5,6 saal kay bachhay ki apni choti choti zimadari hoti hay aur un ka apna sber kernay ka andaz hota hay aur wo tu her roze hi nay kaam kertay rahtay hain, maslan yah bhi naya kaam hay kay wo aik paper lay ker uss per ya uss kay saath koi nai cheez banain jo kay pahlay unhoun nay nahi banai, aur zimadari ka matlab hay kay itna bacha apnay khanay kay bertan utha ker rakhay aur ussay iss tara kay aur choatay choatay kaam kerwaian jaisay wo apnay saray kapray hood pahnta hay, shoes hood pahnta hay, khana hood khata hay, khana kha ker hath hood dhota hay aur aap ko pichay pichay nahi dorna perta.

issi tara high self esteem walay bachay parents ka rozmera gussa kisi haad tak ignore aur berdaaasht ker saktay hain.  maslan aik bacha jo 5,6 saal ka hay aur uss main self confidence hay tu ager maan kisi choti baat per gussa ker kay bolay gi tu wo chup ker kay sun lay ga aur iss ko dil per nahi lay ga aur thori dair baad acha bhala ho jay ga jabkay aik bacha jo pahlay hi kafi dabba houa rahta hay, uss ko aik choti si daant saray din kay liay udaas aur perashaan ker sakti hay.

aap say request hay kay bachay kay level per aa ker baat ko samajnay ki koshish kerain, phir aap ko andaza ho ga kay yah sab kuch kis kader theek hay.

Pinky

my quick reply........

haha actually mausam change ho raha hai , summer season start ho raha hai.

subah pata nai manay kia kuch likh dia tha, lekin apki is post ko parh kar meri kuch batain clear ho gae hain jinki muje subah samajh nai lag rahi thi... kapray khud pehan-na , shoes khud pehn-na, khana giraey baghair khana, ye bachay k level par aa kar sochain to ye baray kaam hain aur zimadari walay kaam bi hain...

asal mai is topic mai to abi apnay differentiate kia hai ta k parents apnay bachay ko judge karain k unkay bachay ki self esteem high hai ya low hai...

dosri bat ye pata lagi k self esteem high karnay mai parents ka sab say important role hai.

teesri baat ye k S.Esteem barhanay k liye bachay ko appreciate karna hai,,,, kaisay karna hai uskay liye kal mai part 2 parhonga aur garma garam reply karonga :p.

How To Develop Self Esteem In Children