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female w (must read)

I went through all your posts, you are no doubt in great anguish and mental- pain. Talking about ur hubby I would talk on few points which I have picked form your writings. Your hubby seems to be into watching pornography a lot. As u already mentioned that he does watch bikinis on a fairly regular basis, ok fine a lot of men too watch bikinis, in-fact in my office I know few bikini-geeks, who have big bikini wallpapers on the desktops and don’t start their work unless they have glance. I appreciate that ur doing your utmost to fulfill ur hubby’s bikini fantasies but this only won’t do the job to tell u the truth sister. Even if u become Pamela Anderson (bay watch babe) for ur husband that’s not just enough because bikini will only help him feast his eyes not give him a fantasized orgasm. By some of ur posts I have managed to figure out that ur husband is ultra-modern in bed, and some of his demands are gross too u, so this is the bone of contention dear, I hope u get my point. Look Your husband will definitely have more fantasies in the bed to accomplish but since u consider them gross and don’t connect to his ultra-advanced sex desires so both of you loose compatibility. This is one of the reasons ur husband only finds u beautiful but not hot-enough. And then he searches here n there for hot & sexy stuff and this is the sad-saga of today’s world that men don’t lower their gaze and allow Satan to do the job n ruin their lives.

Recommendations:

Either you have to be compatible to your husband in the bed or your husband has to compromise on some of his desire that are gross to you.

Islamic code of life is perfect for a couple to live an un-fought and peaceful life. 

A golden line for ur hubby. “For your hubby God don’t help those who don’t help themselves”.

persona

WAS THERE SOMETHING WRONG?

sister female w...... MAY ALLAH SOLVE ALL UR WORRIES AND U BEGIN LIVING A VERY HAPPY AND SATISFIED LIFE

i have gone through all your posts and really i was moved by ur painful situation. no doubt u suffering intense mental worries. i would like to add something to ur post, may it be helpful to u.
dear what i have observed is that the problem is not only that ur husband is interested in other women, infact u r not living a satistying marital life as a whole, since ur wedding.

some people are very good natured, but they sometimes do something wrong by following their certain bad wishes. I think u belong to same category of people who have very good and clean nature.
if i am not wrong, i think u have been brought up with great love and affection by ur parents, and u also loved them so much, and still u love ur parents its very obvious, but dear, did u deceive them in case of ur love marriage? first just think over urself what wrong u did before ur marriage, there is MUST something wrong. u might have broken heart of ur parents by not caring their proposal choice for u, or it may be that ur parents were not hapy from ur marriage from heart..... or may be some other thing.... but u r being badly punished for something. but u have to think over urself that whats the main problem that Allah is not happy with u. it may be that u have ignored ur relegion, not saying 5 prayers, quran,..

but dont worry sister... Allah always listen to the wretched hearts... ur words in ur posts are coming from ur heart core, it indicates how much pain are u suffering... and its v good that u r v keen to make ur life normal... sister for this u have to change urself first..
if its the case of ur parents, then immediately go to ur parents and do anything to make them happy, they love u, and they cant see u crying.... second, repent to Allah for anything wrong u did in ur life..... InshAllah Allah will make ur way, he will certainly listen to u..... He will change the heart and wrong thoughts of ur husband, and to change a person is very simple for Allah.
say ur prayers five times a day, regularly read quran, and live ur life practically... sister there are certain things which are good for us but we dont like to do them, dont feel anything bad about ur husband if he wants something from u which is not disgusting... first u pray to Allah that ur husband should behave like normal human beings, loving u, touching u gently, speaking soft and romantic words, then involuntarily u will start feeling sexual drift for him..... u r just in a temporary phase of loss of sexual desire, and its only because of ur husband attitude, otherwise stop thinking useless issues.. u r normal, every girl fears first intercourse, but with gentle and soft touches all the fear vanishes..

also u mentioned that ur husbnad said talak hai talak hai, its not a joke... if ever he said like this then talak becomes valid.... signing the documents is just a formality..

and last thing...  mariage is a constitution.. its not only playing with a girl, ok u can wear bras of his choice, or whatever he wants u can do, but its not the only purpose of marriage, its the humiliation of women... basic purpose is to develop a family, husband + wife = one existence with bond of love... try to make him realize this.........

ONE THING MORE SISTER

islamically, to be neat and clean is half iman, but its also in islam that everything should be balanced, there should not be excess of anything.

its v obvious that MASHALLAH u r very neat, clean, nice delicate and innocent.... but u r in excess in case of cleanliness, it should not be like that what we call "weham ki bimari".... sister, eating something in a washed and clean plate is good, but it doesnt mean "plate ma chiyonti gir gayi tau plate gandi ho gayi"

same is the case in every aspect of life, dont restrict yourself so much that u wont let ur husband come nearer u or touch u if he is perspiring, or if he hasnt washed his hands, or he should wash his face and teeth before kissing u or whatever, infact u should be moderate in that, obviously there are certain things which are disgusting, u can straight away avoid them, but sometimes, even if he hasnt shaved, and his face beard hairs are annoying u and pricking ur skin, still it will not harm u, and it should not be disgusting to u.

hope that u got the point, MAY U BE BLESSED WITH HAPPPINESS AND BLISS OF MATRIMONAL LIFE... AMEEEN..

info 1234

Female w

Female w

m back here

salam info and all..

just wasnt gettin online... my problem not yet resolved.. husband not yet changed.. had bundle of big fights.. but in the long run.. one thing changed! and that's me! now i give a damn what he does at internet or look at other woman.. after our big last fight when it comes to divorce.. i went to my mothers home for a while.. but now Alhumdulillah we r nt fighting just because i stopped asking anything and i stopped arguing with him and dont reply. cuz i realized he will never change! but he lost my trust in him forever!

anyway just for ur info although it was love marriage but my whome family was happy that they got sucha damad, later now they got to know him. lolz

even now everyone in his family and all his fellows say he's a big liar. i just can pray that Allah guides him to right path..

anyway

anyway.. thank u for ur indepth reply and suggestions... by the way i m offering my prayers regularly since when i dint even know how to offer correctly.. even now Alhumdulillah i offer except fajar.. but after getting married and having a child i dont offer other mustahib surah and duas.

anyway there comes no use of me joining this forum except getting sympatheis, suggestions, advices and support of u people. even my husband is not the same, he becomes more...... kher Allah se achi umeed he.. ab tu shadi ho chuki he.. ek bachi he... i have to compromise.. may be time or miracle will change him..

its natural

My husband

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