How to clear my stance among family and friends

Well those of you on forum who know me and have followed my last posts must be able to understand this problem better and give me better and objective answers.The current situation in my family is making me uncomfortable. My sleep disorder and self harm are both improving. I am really amazed at my improvement and am veryy thankfull to all members here who have helped me directly or indirectly.

Now i have made up my mind to get married. The biggest hurtful thing in my life is that i was deceived by my own family and left alone to rott. now i do not want their help at all for my wedding. I am trying to develop myself as a professional again so I can get the expenses of my wedding on my own.But people's attitudes are in my way.

Biggest hinderence that is a continuous source of demoralising me is that during the last 15 years aftyer my abba's death our family (both sides mothers and fathers) was away from us.We have recently started to mingle again. Now my image in front of all of them is very bad coz all they see is that I got my education and got settled and now i am defying every athaurity of family and that i am a proud person. Problem is that reality is completely opposite. I got my education on my own and if i am single till now it i s not because of me but my family as they wanted me to wait till my sisters (who was psychologically ill and under treatment) is married. During the whole time of five yeasr after i was twenty five years of age there were several decent proposals but were rejected saying one thing or the other sometimes even without any reason.I was discoureged to talk to family friends even I was told to back out if someone was interested in me coz family wanted the elder sister to marry that person. Now i am really really upset I am thirty and every option that comes doesnt feel suitable for me. If I reject instead of acknowleding my right to make my own prefrences I am told to shut the fuck up. It seems my motrher iss fe up of marrying off daughters and now wants me to go to hell and let her be at peace. She practically arranges dinners for relatives over which i am humilited literally in indirect taunting ways saying "Hamari bachi na tou compromise ker liya.. ham na tou koyee amarat nahee dekhi ...falan ki larki mA ha uss na khud keh ker un parh cosine se shadi kerwa li ..wghera wghera..

I am not an un compromising person but i seek justice . I was deprived essa nahee tha k mera liye munasib rishta nahee aata thay kabi bi.Mujy smajah nahee aata ke in politics se jaan chura ker apni priorities ki taraf kessay concentrate karun?Her maheena koyee ek do rishta daar aa hee jata hain aur koyee naa koyee taunting baat ker jata hain. I personally beleive k abi b I am not over age or something agar family sahi koshish kary to mera achi jaga shadi ho saklttee ha magar wo log koyee responsibility nahee utanay ko tayyar.

Meri behn abi bi psychological patient ha. meds pa ha aj tak. issi waja se usski parai b chuttii.zindagi  ka kayee saal zaya huway aur age barhna ki waja se rishta b bas koyee achi jaga nahee huwa. ab iss sab me mera ky akasur ha k har koyee mujhy zaleel kerta ha ke uss na Compromise ker liya tum b karlo . Wo patient thee ma to nahee. Sari family tulee huwi ha mujhy phenkna per aur smajh nahee aat k kya karun. Unnko kessa samjhaun k ma apna jayez right maang rahee hun koyee bheek nahee. Aur agar me apna field ma shadi kerna chahtee hun to pessay k liye nahee balkay mental compatibility ki waja se essa chahtee houn.Her waqt mujhy insult kerta rehna inn logoun ki aadat ban gayee ha. Aap log koyee practical hall btayen. k chahy meri shadi ko dou teen saal lag b jayen koyee baat nahee magar  ye jo family ma her koyee muja insult kerta ha ye sab khatam ho jaye.

Main unnko clear cut ye b nahee bol saktee k aap log meray muamla ma na parain kiyunka agar mear koyee apna refrence se proposal final ho b gaya tab bhee rukhsati tou mera khandan walay hee karengay.

mairak

solution

Batman

Actually uss sara matter ko discuss karungi to pages waste ho jayegay . mujy solution chahye ha.iss problemo ka. to aap agar meri previous post nahi pari to phir reply na karen actually wo kafi lambi bi ha aur uss ma kayee essi baatain hain jo na hee kissi ko pata hon acha ha. issi liye jo members janta hain wo behter reply ke denga.

Not that uyou are not welcome for this but aapko problm sahi tara samajh nahee ayega.issi liye If But kerta kerta sari pages hmara drmiyan waste ho jayengay.

Yes mer real family ha. ma baap ki shakal per chalee gayee badnaseebi se. maa gori thee me wheatish complexion ki wo kabi muja apna he nahee saki as a child own nahi ker saki. Aaj roti ha tarapti ha magar mujsy ab badla nahee jata change hona mushkil lagta ha.

mairak

hmm...

To top it all

mairak

Batman

but aesa nahi ho sakta k ksi ko bhi aapki samajh na aay.. koi aapko samajh hi nahi paya...

essa hai aur kaafi baar ho b raha ha repeatedly. actually cousine wghera mera sth raha he nai unnko assumptions bas dmagh me kuch hain mera baaray ma.janti nahee hain mujy.Behno ki story to altogather hee khrab ha. Allah mujy unnkay dewaroun se bchaye.Kaam k na kaaj k dushman anaj kay. ek number k nakhatu aur biggest loosers.jinn ko inn logoun k kehna per inkar kiye wo aaj lacs me salary le raha hain. unnka koyee nam ha meri jaan pehchan k logoun ma. aur ye gali k nukar se mba parhay hua jobless la k kehtee hain lo ab 6 saal baad iss na b mba ker liya iss se karlo shadi. job na milli tou kya huwa tum help kerna isski b kerwa dena. pagal aurtain.

Sorry 4 late reply