Depression And Frustration Due To Masturbation

@ Dua karo

Mayoosi gunaah hai bhai aur khudkushi haraam hai, is liye iska kabhi nai sochiyega. Aap bilkul fikar nai karein aap kay maslay ka hul nikal aayega. Aap kuch questions k reply kar saktay hain.

Kiya aap 5 waqt namaaz parhtay hain?

Aap ki sonay aur jaagnay ki routine kiya hai?

Kiya aap exercise kartay hain? Agar kartay hain tau week me kitna time deitay hain? Aur kaunsi exercise kartay hain?

Aap bta saktay hain k aap apnay aapko sexually unfit kiyun feel kartay hain? Yani k kaunsa problem hai? Erection ka? Premature ejaculation ka? Jo b hai please explain karein..

Aapki height aur weight?

Bohat shukria reply karne ka

and

@Dua karo

Aur phir aap nay bohat achhi bat kahi k ab aap zindagi me aagay barhna chahtay hain. Tau is spirit k sath aap bilkul fikar nai karein.. inshaAllah aap har psychological issue ko tackle kar leingay. OK.

Aur haan aapka problem thek honay me thora time lagega. Is liye again yeai kahunga k belief zaroori hai. Jo k aap nay mujhe next reply me zaroor batana hai.

2- Ab aap nay ek kaam karna hai jo thora mushkil hai.. aur wo kaam ye hai k aap nay daily desi lehsan (garlic) k 3 ya 4 cloves chabaa k khanay hain. Unko nigalna nai hai balkay chabaa k khanay hain. Aap ooper sy pani p saktay hain. Ye kaam mushkil is liye hai kiyunkay garlic ki smell aati hai.. aap sham ko kha saktay hain. Subah tak thek ho jayegi smell bhi.

3- Aap Gym join karein aur haftay me 3 days body building karein is say testosterone level high hota hai, laikin testosterone level high karnay k liye zaroori hai k aap weight thora zayada uthaayen. Aur us k ilaawa aap nay week me atleast 4 din jogging ya doosri aerobic exercises karni hain jo k bohat zaroori hai.

4- Aap nay kaha k penis slightly bent hai us k liye vitamin E lein, 3 4 month badaam khayen zayada, aapko inshaAllah difference mehsus hoga.

5- Aap nay drops, ehtelaam aur unwanted teen erections k liye bilkul pareshan hona e nai, kiyunkay wo siray say problem e nai hain believe me. Ehtelaam irregular e hota hai wo regular kaam e nai hai. Aur drops bhi bilkul normal hain. Aur haan teenage ki tau baat e kuch aur hai.. Unwanted erections bus teenage k e mazay hain. Believe me ye life ka cycle e aisa hai.

6- Sirf hard erection aur uska maintain rehna zaroori hai. Aur aapka concern bhi ye hona chahiye. So aaj ki doosri baat ye k aap nay yaqeen rakhna hai k aap ka jo problem hai wo sirf hard erection ka hai baqi jo batein point 5 me batayee hain un kay liye aap nay pareshan ni hona. Aap mujhe next reply me is bat k baray me bhi bataaiyega k kiya aapko meri baat par yaqeen aa gaya hai.

7- Aap رب انی مغلوب فانتصر "Rabbi Anni Maghloobun Fantasir" daily parha karein 313 dafa, aur 40 days tak parhein bila naagha. InshaAllah Allah taalah karam kareingay. Laikin belief zaroori hai.

8- Kiya aap bata saktay hain k aap ki education kiya hai aur job kia kartay hain? Agar aapko munasib lagay tau. Agar public forum par nai btana chahtay tau no problem.

Sir

Sir

so many things to ask

Dua Karo

Agreed with Garlic wali baat. Yeh mashwara meray zehan main nahi raha iss liay ek doosri thread main aap ko suggest nahi kar saka.

Garlic is proof to be very helpful for males. Lakin bohat mushkil kaam hay iss ko khana. Koshish karo raat k time khanay ki not before bed but atleast 2 hours b4 bed, uss ki waja yeh hay k agar tum kha kar logo say milogay tu ek wakt aiega k log tumsay milna chor dain gay :)

Shruu main utna hi khana jitna aap huzum kar sako, werna paet bhi kharab ho sakta hay.

secondly, mainay bhi aap ko excercise ka mashwara dia tha, lakin ek bohat acha point doctor sahab nay remind kia or woh yeh k aap tough excercise karo, specially apni limit say xiada Weight lifting karo, the reason behind is, jab aap ko bohat tough weight uthana parta hay tu Testostron hormones wafar mikdaar main produce hotay hain to get the job done. Lakin phir apni diet ka khayal rakhna.

Thanks and Takecare.

Dua Karo

Agreed with Garlic wali baat. Yeh mashwara meray zehan main nahi raha iss liay ek doosri thread main aap ko suggest nahi kar saka.

Garlic is proof to be very helpful for males. Lakin bohat mushkil kaam hay iss ko khana. Koshish karo raat k time khanay ki not before bed but atleast 2 hours b4 bed, uss ki waja yeh hay k agar tum kha kar logo say milogay tu ek wakt aiega k log tumsay milna chor dain gay :)

Shruu main utna hi khana jitna aap huzum kar sako, werna paet bhi kharab ho sakta hay.

secondly, mainay bhi aap ko excercise ka mashwara dia tha, lakin ek bohat acha point doctor sahab nay remind kia or woh yeh k aap tough excercise karo, specially apni limit say xiada Weight lifting karo, the reason behind is, jab aap ko bohat tough weight uthana parta hay tu Testostron hormones wafar mikdaar main produce hotay hain to get the job done. Lakin phir apni diet ka khayal rakhna.

Thanks and Takecare.

@Dua karo

Mujhe Allah par pura bharosa hai....may ab se ye yaqeen rakhon ga k mera masla hal ho jaye ga. Insha Allah.

Clove un chotay pieces ko kaha jata hai jo sab mil kar ek poora lehsan banatay hain. Khayal rakhiyega k 3 4 cloves say zayada ni khanay din me.

Hard erection ka app nay koi solution nahi bataya?

Bhai ye garlic, aur exercises hard erection k liye hi batayi hain. Is k ilawa aap nay apni diet balanced rakhni hai. Aur makhan desi ghee, aisi sab cheezein jo cholestrol level high karti hain aap nay un say avoid karna hai (oil me best olive oil hai agar aap wo use kar saktay hain tau bohat achhi bat hai). Zayada vegetables khayen. Especially haray patton wali vegetables jaisay paalak. Ek usool aapnay yaad rakhna hai k jo cheezein heart k liye achhi nai hain wo penis k liye bhi achhi nai hain. Aur doosri baat jo cheezein blood pressure ko lower karti hain wo cheezein penis k liye achhi hain.

Aur bhai mere khayal say aapko apna weight 70 72 tak laana chahiye.

Ye ayat jo app ne bataee is ka matlab bhi plz bata dain.

Aayat ka mafhoom hai k aye mere Rab ma maghloob ho chuka hu meri madad kar.

Sir jab may underwear nahi pehanta to mujhe lagta hai k mere sexual organs bilkul latakay hue hain aur khichao sa mehsoos hota hai as if they need support. Why it happens?

Sexual organs say aapki muraad testis hai? Testis usually garmion me expand rehtay hain aur sardion me shrink rehtay hain kiyunkay sperms heat sensitive hotay hain zayada heat sy mar jatay hain is liye qudrat nay aisa nizaam banaia huwa hai k garmion me wo jisam say door rehtay hain taa kay unko jisam ki heat na milay. So ye bilkul koi problem nai hai.

Aapko underwear tight nahi pehanna chahiye, wo underwear istemal karna better hai jo chaddi type hota hai.

Sir app yaqeen karain k apni shyness aur low confidence ki waja se may is agg may pichle 7-8 years se jal raha hun. Har waqt dar laga rehta hai k kisi ko pata na chal jaye. Is liye may app ko ziada detail to nahi bata paun ga. I am doing business, aur education k hawalay se bhi kafi qualified hun.

Aap bilkul nai pareshan hun yaar balkay ma aap ko ek sach baat btaun jo really sach hai ma koi exaggerate nai kar raha. You are really a smart guy, I have felt that from your posts. You just need a click. And also you are one of the very few guys in our country who are well qualified and running their own business. Its great my dear. Just sit down one day, and think about the countless blessings that Allah has bestowed upon you. And you will be feeling superiority complex. Really yaar, mashaAllah you have a lot of qualities. Achha eak bat tau btayen friendly, aap books parhtay hain? Ya agar ni parhtay tau kia time hota hai parhnay ka? Ya parhna chahtay hain? If the answer is yes, then I shall suggest you a couple of books.

Aur sir app ne early ejaculation k baray may bhi comment nahi kia.

Jee actually ye fact hai k masturbation say ejaculation aur intercourse me ejaculation bilkul different cheezein hain kiyunkay un dono me sexual stimulation different hoti hai. Is liye aisa sab k sath hota hai k masturbation say jaldi ejaculation ho jati hai . Laikin aisa kisi kisi k sath hota hai k wife k sath intercourse me bhi ye masla ho. Is liye ye masla sirf shadi k bad hi deikha jata hai. Shadi say pehlay kaha e nai ja sakta k ye masla hai ya nai hai. Is liye just don't worry about that.

Sir to summarize , we will focus on the problem of weak erection only? or some other things are on ur mind as well which u think i need treatment of? like....low sexual desire etc

Yes you have well summerized, we shall be focusing on the problem of weak erections. As I have told you that the other problems are not actually the problems. You have told me that whenever you watch a movie scene, then drops come out of penis, actually it shows that sometimes you think more about sex. For example, when someone is having foreplay with his wife, he gets sexual stimulation and drops come out of penis. It is very normal, these drops are called precum or in urdu they are called "mazee". They also lubricate the penis so that, it gets easily into the vagina. So really don't worry for these drops. Actually it depends upon how much one thinks about sex. If someone thinks a lot about sex, he will get drops earlier than one who thinks less about sex. So medically they are very normal, but if you want to minimize them just try to get your mind away from sexual thoughts.

You have talked about low sexual desire, but you know actually you have high sexual desire but your fear has diminished it. So, it is actually not the problem. I believe that now you have started to gain confidence, so with the passage of time sexual desire will also grow.

Ye bataiye sir k app k khayal may kitne arsay may mai shadi k qabil ho jaun ga? yani k is ilaj may kitna arsa lagay ga.

Actually is maamlay me ma ye kahunga k agar aap par really koi pressure nai hai, tau ma ye chahta hu k aap ka confidence build ho jaye 3 4 months me.. aapki tabiat me freshness aa jaye, depression kam ho jaye, taa k aap khush feel karo shadi ki soch say. Abhi aap me anxiety hai. Aur agar aap nay abhi shadi k liye keh diya tau aap phir say pareshan rehnay lag jao gay pressure lay k shadi ka.. is liye yaar abhi aap 3 4 months shadi ki tension na lo. Abhi hum 3 4 months gup shap kartay hain. Phir khushi khushi shadi ki tayaarian kareingay inshaAllah. Great idea na?

aur doctor sahab khanay may kia cheezain ziada khaun? garam cheezain like anday, khajoorain, honey....plz tell me kia cheez le kar aun apni ghiza may izafi.

Allah app ko dhair sari khushian day....app ne jis apnaiyat aur khulus se jawab dia hai us ka sila Allah he day ga app ko.

Thank you so much for your prayers. I just want you to be happy and confident my dear.

Ma reply ek baat par khatam karunga k MashaAllah bohat achhi bat hai aap 5 waqt namaaz parhtay hain, actually iska matlab hai k aap apni rooh ko gazaa day rahay hain ya deina chahtay hain. Aap namaz me koshish karein k jitna zayada say zayada khushoo o khuzoo laa sakein. Yani is tara soch k namaaz parhnay ki koshish karein k Allah taalah bilkul aap k samnay hain aap ko sun raye hain aapki takleef ko jan raye hain aapki aajzi ko mehsus kar raye hain aap ko sukoon deingay inshaAllah.

OK

@ Dr KamiAli

@Dua karo

You seem to be of a slightly different opinion as compared to the official doctors of this web site. Is it the case? What is your stance on harms of masturbation?

My stance on harms of masturbation:

1- (Philosophical stance) I am a philosophical guy so now you will have to digest my philosophical conversation. :)

First of all, I am a great believer that there should be a very strong bond of love between husband and wife, after the marriage. A man should fulfil the rights of his wife, and a woman should fulfil the rights of her husband. BUT a person who masturbates a lot, does not love his wife as strongly as a person who masturbates occasionally. BECAUSE beside the other factors, sex or physical desire is a very important factor that keeps the husband and wife together and loving for each other. A man who masturbates a lot can fulfill his physical needs by masturbation, so in many cases he does not care for his wife. In many cases he does not make compromises because he can fulfil his physical needs by masturbation. In many cases he does not feel the affection (that his wife deserves) for his wife.

And a man who does not masturbate or masturbate occasionally will feel more affection, and love for his wife. AND it is the right of her wife to get the full affection and love of her husband.

I hope that my point is clear.

2- In some cases, the mind of a man who does excessive masturbation, gets used to receive the sexual signals needed for erection, only when man stimulates his penis by his hand. But when man gets married, his penis does not get good erection during intercourse, because the mind is trained to give the erection only by hand. So he always has to use his hand to get the erection, and so his wife feel neglected, she thinks that she is not beautiful enough to give erection to husband.

3- Most problems of masturbation are psychological. If you are very confident guy, and do not feel the guilt after doing the masturbation, and do not think that I have done something very wrong. Then it does not effect you.

But in our culture, it is normal that, whenever someone masturbates he thinks that he has committed a great sin and also he thinks that I am wasting my health. So he has the feelings of guilt, these feelings cause anxiety and depression.

And remember anxiety and depression are very bad for overall health and for sex. Due to anxiety and fear sometimes man do not get good erection, so he goes into more deeper anxiety. When he goes into more anxiety, he again does not get good erection and so on and on and on. And this cycle continues. Because good sex and good erection needs relax and calm mind.

Do you think i have only a psychological issue?or a physical issue as well?

for a while assume that i consider myself 100% sexually fit and my confidence is great. In that case will i be able to marry imediately? will my sexual performance be all rite after marriage? will my physical condition be a hurdle?

Yes if you feel yourself 100% fit and your confidence is great then you should marry now. inshaAllah there will be no hurdle.

If the answer is yes, then why will i need to go through a physical treatment. I hope you can understand my question. May yeh nahi keh raha k jo ilaj app nay bataya hai may wo nahi karna chahta. May sirf apna mind clear karna chahta hun. I hope you understand.

My answer is yes, but unfortunately you are not 100% confident and your confidence is lacking. And this physical treatment will improve your confidence, will reduce your anxiety, and also improve your sexual health. If you are sexually great now, these things will make you greater.

Ma nay aapko 3 4 month ka is liye kaha tha k inshaAllah aap 3 4 month mere sath baatein shaatein kartay rayengay aur sath exercise wagera jo ma nay btaia.. Sath hum achhi achhi books parhenigay.. Tau aapk zehan me sukoon aayega, confidence level high hoga phir aap khud khushi khushi shadi ka socheingay aur aapko koi preshani nai hogi.. jo aapnay depression ki symptoms btayin apni pehli post me, ma chahta hu k inshaAllah aap me wo symptoms khatam ho jayen.. aur zindagi say aur dunia say logon say piar karnay lagein, khush rehnay lagein.. aur ma deikh ra hu k mashaAllah wo symptoms kam honay b lag gayi hain.. bus phir BAND BAAJA BAARAAT e hona hai janab..

I just had garlic and it was a painful experience:) but managable. Sir kitna arsa khana hai mujhe ye? aur daily khana hai? (just waiting for the smell to go...and thinking what would i say if my family asks why have you eaten garlic...lolz)

Yaar aap ko agar ma lehsan k fawaaid btaun tau aap kahein gay k ma nay kabhi chorna e nai.. :) Aap family walon ko keh saktay ho k sehat k liye bht achha hota hai is liye kha ra hu, arteries say blood ki clottings ko remove karta hai. Aur cholestrol level kam karta hai. Blood pressure k liye achha hai. Heart ki beemarion say bachata hai isay apni zindagi ka jo mamool bana laitay hain wo bht si beemarion sy bachay rehtay hain especially heart ki beemarian jo k aajkal bht common hain.

ajj subah mera pehla din tha jogging ka.

Great.. isko continue rakhiyega..

Mujhe books parhne ka shauq to bohat hai, time bhi hota hai...par pata nahi kyun nahi parhta. Kabhi kabhi koi novel parh lia, ya koi islamic book. Plz mujhe kuch achi books suggest karain....it would really be nice...

Good. Aap books parhna shuru karein inshaAllah you will really enjoy this experience. I shall suggest you a book "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari". Please read this book. I highly recommend you to read it. You will really love this book, I am sure :-) I think 200 pages ki hai.. Ye parh lein phir ek aur recommend krunga.

Is tea harmful? aur aik hakeem ne mujhe bhindi (lady finger khanay aur green sabziyan khanay se mana kia tha....is ki kia waja hai?

Tea ki consumption moderate honi chahiye. Aur haan paani bhi zayada piya karein. Hakeem ki baaton me na aayen. Saari sabzian khaayen.

Sir

Sir

@Dua karo

Very wonderfully explained sir.

Thank you.

But i am sorry i will again stress on a couple of points (plz don't mind)

Don't worry at all. I will not mind. Its my pleasure.

The first point regarding difference of timing in masturbation and legal intercourse. I agree there is a difference in the type of stimulation, but not that huge, the basic fact remains that the male organs get ruubed to lead to ejaculation. Due to masturbation the male organ become very sensitive to any sort of stimulation. I feel like this....i hope its not true, but i seem to think like that.

Actually it is not the sensitivity. Its all about training of mind. I will explain my point with an example.

Lets assume that there is a man who never masturbates and then he gets married. Now he will do intercourse with his wife. We consider that due to some issue, they always have to do intercourse in a hurry. So consider that man always have to ejaculate very early. Now after some years, or even some moths his mind and his penis will have been TRAINED to get EARLY EJACULATION during INTERCOURSE. So after some years most of the times when he will do intercourse, he will automatically ejaculate early because of this training of mind and penis. BUT now suppose that one day, he masturbates, then it is not necessary that he will ejaculate early, because his mind is trained to give early ejaculation only during the intercourse, but not for the masturbation.

Having said that, I tell you another thing. After wedding, it is very normal that at first a man ejaculate early. But then shadi k bad aaista aaista aapki discharge ki timing adjust hoti hai. Mian biwi k jisam aur dimaag aaista aaista ek dusray k sath hum aahang hona shuru ho jatay hain. Aur wo apnay zehan sy discharge ko control karna shuru kar deitay hain.

Agar aapko is maamlay me ya jo example ma nay di us me abi koi confusion hai tau please don't hesitate to ask me again.

Second point reagarding performance after marriage and the effect of masturbation on that. Assume a person can do 100 times intercourse after his marriage throughout the life. The performance and passion curve is i think downward throughout the period of these 100 times. If a person has done 50 times masturbation before marriage. He has already utilized half the options...Do i make sense?? I hope i don't! and still wish to believe that it is harmless.

You are not right in this matter. You can assume that a man can have intercourse upto a certain age (assume 50 years). So if he gets married at the age of 40, he can have intercourse for 10 more years. But if he gets married at the age of 30 years, he can have intercourse for 20 more years.

But you can not apply this theory to the number of intercourses. Semen is produced all the time in the testis. So if a man has to do 100 intercourses after marriage, he will do those 100 intercourses, despite of the fact that he has done masturbation 50 times before marriage.

Performance and passion also decreases when you are aged, but it does not decreases with the number of intercourses. It depends on the general health of the person.

I hope that you got my point. If you have any confusion then you can ask me.

Sir if you don't mind i have a lot of things to share with you. I want to tell you about the psychological problems i am going through, which are in some way connected to the major problem already discussed. But individually treated are big problems in itself.

Yes sure. I understand your situation.

For all those problems to understand I will have to tell you about myself....and this forum is too public to be doing that.

Yes you are right. If you want to contact me personally, maybe it is possible for the moderators to send my email ID to you by email, or send me your email ID by email. I have really no problem with it, its my pleasure to listen to you and share my thoughts with you. You are really nice friendly guy, having a lot of potential. And I also want to give your confidence back to you, so that you can realize your aim of getting success and happiness in this life and hereafter inshaAllah.

From the last couple of days i have been shockingly and surprisingly very happy, talking with everyone and yes "Happy" all because you said a few motivating sentences...but still there are issues.

Yes I know my dear, shukar alhamdulillah. I am very glad to hear that. And inshaAllah every issue will be resolved with the grace of Allah. Aameen.

Its great that you have started reading the book. You are really motivated, and that is a very positive sign. Good luck for the reading. I hope you will enjoy it.

Aur aapka exercise program kaisa chal ra hai? Garlic I think aap start me sirf 2 cloves e kha lein kuch din bad chahay 3 kar lijiyega. Kiyunkay garlic teiz hota hai.

Sir

@Dua karo

Firstly, there is no bad topic my dear. From every topic and from every experience we learn something. If the topic or the experience is leading you to become more mature, then it is a good topic, even if it is about sex or any other thing. Actually, this hypocrate society has made you believe that it is a bad topic. Here everybody will commit those sins that he wants, but for the other sins he will say that those are the worst sins so never commit those sins. And even for those sins that he is commiting, he will pretend that he has never comitted such a sin, and he will make fun of us if we commit that sin.

Here everybody has his own standards. I will give you a short example. Here a woman who wears burqa and also covers her face, thinks that a woman who is wearing burqa but not covering her face, is committing a sin. But I am doing the right thing.

Another woman who wears burqa without covering her face, thinks that a woman who is not having a burqa but dupatta on her head and her chest, is committing a sin. But I am right.

Another woman who covers her head and chest with dupatta, she thinks that those women who are wearing dupatta only on their chest, but not covering their heads, they are committing a sin. But I am right. And so on....

So everybody has his own standards.

And especially for sex, it has become such a taboo, that nobody will admit that he has sexual thoughts and he masturbates or watches porn, but he will always condemn you for the sexual thoughts that you have. So, that is the problem in our society.

Now coming back to your question, you know maybe this problem that you are going through right now is for making you stronger, more successful, more mature in the future. Because believe me, those people who succesfully come out of a bad patch in their life, then they become rock solid. Then nothing in this world can shake them. And mashaAllah you are young, and at this age if you will become that mature, that stronger then it will be very +ve for you. InshaAllah you have a long life ahead of you, and you will be able to face all challenges of life with sheer determination.

At times after urination i get a few drops of a sticky and shiny fluid. Any idea why i have them? any treatment for this? are they harmful?

At times after some bad thoughts (which i have controlled quite a lot now Alhamdullilah) when fluid comes out, why do i feel a pain in my thigh?

The drops and fluid is normal. It is not harmful. Could you please tell me, do you have some stomach problem also? Like constipation, indigestion etc?

Do you feel a slight pain? Or severe? It is after the drops? But it is not after the masturbation?

@Dua karo

If the things, the way you explained, are so simple then why all the walls of our cities are filled with advertisements of hakeems offering treatment of the very problem. Are the people ignorant? or what? this issue is not a new one...but its history must begin with the existence of human beings. Logically speaking this issue should have been addressed till now? There must be something that these hakeems give treatment of?

Actually there are two important points.

Firstly, have you ever heard about Placebo? and Placebo effect? It is a medical term. Actually sometimes it happens that, a person does not have a physical problem, but he believes that he has that physical problem. He is very much depressed due to that problem. In those cases, he wants to get treated. He does not want to listen that you are normal, you don't have any problem etc... In those cases, sometimes doctors give him a placebo. It does not do anything, but person starts to believe that he is getting the treatment. So he gets relaxation.

In the same way, these hakeems give the person (who thinks he has sexual problems) some medicine, some herbs that give more energy and power (there are many such herbs). In some cases, if the hakeem is a wise man then the person starts to believe that he is getting the treatment, he feels more energetic, his mind gets relaxation, and so he gets away from those feelings of depression. But in many other cases (most of the time), when the hakeem is not good. Then the person goes into more depression.

The second point is that, it is called marketing. Ab aap hi btaayen zara, pakistan me ek banda (hakeem) jis nay koi taleem hasil nai ki huwi, us kay pas paisay kamaanay ka is say achha zaria kia ho sakta hai, jab laakhon ki taadaad me naujawaan in baaton say pareshan hain. Tau ye ek hakeem k liye best issue hai jis ki base par wo paisay kamaaa sakay. Actually, ye hota hai k log jis baat k liye sensitive hain usi baat ko apnay maqsad k liye utilize karna.

Yeahi kaam hakeemon ka hai aur yeai kaam aksar molvion ka hai. Aksar maulvi mazhab ko apnay maqsad k liye use kartay hain. Aur aksar hakeem jinsi problems ko apnay maqsad k liye use kartay hain.