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shanzeh |
Group: Members Joined: 29th Apr, 2008 Topic: 2 Post: 9 Age:
35
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| Posted on:29th Apr 2008, 7:05am |
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 First Cousin Marriage: Why Cousin Marriage Is not Forbidden In Islam?
asalam to all of you
I found this site by an accident, I may say tht it is a very informative site keep up the good work.
I'm going through a huge problem, I hope some one can give me a good advice, actually I'm married to a first cousin, my parents and my husbands parents they were also married with their first cousins. Now I've one duagther she is born with alot of defects, and the doctors are sure tht it is due to these first cousin marriages. Personally I was against to marry a first cousin because I do believe in genetic defekts, but my parents forced me to marry this first cousin becuase according to them it is all none-sense.
Personally I do believe tht cousin marriages are not healthy, and how the doctors explain all the genetic rules it is also very logic.
But I cannt understand why are cousin marriages not forbidden in Islam They Holy Quran is a complete book it doesn't forbide it. People around me they do not believe in genetic disoreders so they do also say tht if it is truth what they doctors say why are cousin marriges allowed in Islam??
My daugther is not going survive for long, and docotr are unable to tell find what she is suffering from, and they are sure if I get pregnant next time the risk will be the same, so I dont know wht to do I've only to options
1. jsut give up the idea of having any children ever
2. or I can get divorce
but both options are very hard to take, so pls anyone tell me what can I do???
thanks
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goodman |
Group: Members Joined: 11th Oct, 2007 Topic: 59 Post: 6920 Age:
31
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| Posted on:29th Apr 2008, 7:19am |
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According to me i do not think that ur thinking is right.May be it is any Trial on you But According to my opinion you must consider on these things.
1.Your husband food is HALAL that you eat.He does not earn FOOD any illegal way.
2.Your method of intercourse is ISLAMIC.You adopt itercourse islamic rules and regulations.
3.You or your husband hurt any mankind.
You consider on the above things and i hope inshallah this problem will solve.And cousin marriage has no side effect and you do not need to divorce.If you do intercourse and you become pragnent you must pray from ALLAH and next time Allah will give you BEST thing.
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BeautyStar |
Group: Members Joined: 16th May, 2007 Topic: 52 Post: 3599 Age:
25
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| Posted on:29th Apr 2008, 7:22am |
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 Very Complex & Complicated Situation.....
Sorry Sister, I have to no clue :(
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shanzeh |
Group: Members Joined: 29th Apr, 2008 Topic: 2 Post: 9 Age:
35
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| Posted on:29th Apr 2008, 8:31am |
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to goodman thanks alot for ur reply Mr. goodman. Al-hamdolliha my husband is earning only halal we both try our best to live according to Islam and the Islamic rules. Al-hamdolliha we do also pray 5 time a day we do give sadqa zikat everything.
And to your 2nd question about the intercourse, I concieved with insemination, even though we dont have any health problems I couldnt concieve.
I've 2 brothers one he is married to a cousin as well, and he become a child with exacat same complications like my daughter, and than I've an other brother who is not married to a relative he has a healthy child.
I'm quite confused because if u take a look on surveyes and etc. than u see the rate of unhealthy children is higher among blood related marriages.
There are surveyes which shows the facts about cousin marriages, for instant in Uk in some areas where the pakistani are living and most of them are married to cousins there is the rate of rare and unknown disease very high. In west they discourage the idea of blood related marriages.
Any doctor or anyone who can advice me from the medical point of view???
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BeautyStar |
Group: Members Joined: 16th May, 2007 Topic: 52 Post: 3599 Age:
25
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| Posted on:29th Apr 2008, 9:04am |
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My Opinion.... As you have two alternative solutions of this problem, so according to me Options#1 is better one than option#2
- Just give up the idea of having any children ever
- or I can get divorce
Research tells us that... Cousin-Marriages is causing lot of Genetics Problems these days that's why Islam never encourage or discourage
this sort of marriage... that's why despite considering Asian as a
Terrorist.. UK & USA welcome them because of minimizing the
disablities caused by Cousin-Marriage & Other Same Genetics-Problems.
But , as your marriage have been done and ALLAH has rewared your Cousin
as a Husband... so please accpet him with open heart and try to live
with him... Divorce is one of the Worst Legal Act in the eyes of ALLAH
Subhanaho Ta'alah... So Better to live together and follow Option#1
rather than 2.
May ALLAH bles you , your family , your children & your marriage and make your children as a normal (Ameen)
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pure |
Group: Members Joined: 04th Nov, 2007 Topic: 12 Post: 21 Age:
31
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| Posted on:29th Apr 2008, 11:35pm |
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open your heart for your husband My dear sister your problem is realy very painfull, but your option No.2 is more painfull. It is true that every human being on this earth wants children after their marriage and they must be healthy.
Genetic problem is not a big issue in these days where technology is every where..., may be not now, but one day Insha Allah, Allah must give you healthy children.
From the psychology point of view a sex can complete when both couple feel fresh and they love with each other, but here sorry to say, you are not loving with your husband from bottom of heart, and ignoring him from the first day of your marriage. Please open your heart for him and do sex with full of love, not with depress and hazitation. But please, do not think about the divorse. Husband and wife relation is not bound just for making children, there are so many things for them provided by Mighty Allah. Please change your mind and open your heart for your husband. |
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nadeem AOL |
Group: Members Joined: 26th Nov, 2007 Topic: 8 Post: 265 Age:
29
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| Posted on:30th Apr 2008, 2:14am |
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 Shehnaz !
M very sorry about your daughter. In Qura'an ALLAH didn't forbidden first cousion marriages but there is a Hadith of Prophet (PBUH)
“Don’t marry a near relative (such as a first cousin) as in that case a
child is born weak (i.e. defective)”, as quoted by Imam Ghazali in ‘Ihya Ulum
id Din’. But the research also state that if your ForeFathers got married with first cousions then in their third generation the Child Birth with Genetic Defects is very high even babies are born totally deaf, many are having sight problems etc.
Unfortunately in our society our marriages are fixed when we are too young, in near relatives (in most of the cases) and after all we have to obey our parents.
I was watching a show on TV where the discussion about First Cousions was going on. Doctor said that, for example, my first cousoins are only of my Checha' s family because in my family and checha's family "Males" are from the same line. MY "Phuphu's" & "Khala's" children are not my first cousions because the "Males" are from different lines. The risk carring marriages are among Checha and Taya's cousions.
Please tell that were your forefather got married with their first cousions and what's in your case ?
I m confused regarding my case also that i m going to marry my "First cousion" as well as "Second cousion", Two in One. My father and my checha got married with their "Khala's" two daughters so the children have dual relationship, First cousion from Father side and Seciond cousion from Mother side. But our forefathers didn't get married with first cousions. If what the doctor told on the show is true then i think the risk is minimum but i m still confused because of this dual relationship which could carry risks.
Shehnaz, its hard to choose any of the options but be courageous and always seek ALLAH's help.
Cheers.
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nadeem AOL |
Group: Members Joined: 26th Nov, 2007 Topic: 8 Post: 265 Age:
29
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| Posted on:30th Apr 2008, 2:18am |
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Doctor Rizwan / doctorpk I request you to please comment on First Cousion & Second Cousion issue and let me be free from any confusion.
Cheers.
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hamzi |
Group: Members Joined: 24th Mar, 2008 Topic: 11 Post: 1072 Age:
26
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| Posted on:30th Apr 2008, 2:41am |
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shanzay well sis this is very complex topic acording tu me every thing in quran is being proved by science till now but this merriage case is colliding with quran acoordin tu our or my RAw knowledge but according tu me in quran it is mentioned that u can merry tu ur cousions lik in christianity christion r not allowed tu meryy thier firt cousions or chacha k aur taya k bachy but in islam its allowed but in pak most ov the people get married tu thier first cousions in order tu save thier land or money this is my view |
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shanzeh |
Group: Members Joined: 29th Apr, 2008 Topic: 2 Post: 9 Age:
35
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| Posted on:30th Apr 2008, 3:47am |
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Nadeem well it is very confusing what u have seen in a TV show, but anyways I'm married to my popous son. It is confusing but I'll try to explain you
1. my father and my popo ( brother & sister)
2. my father and my mother ( first cousins, mamu1 or popo zad)
3. mother in law(my popo) and father in law ( first cousins mamu2 or popo zad) so all 4 of them they r first cousin to eachother as well.
Anyways I would also like to request to the doctor put some comments on this issue.
I'm also very confused there are some doctors they say it is a matter of fact tht the genetic defects are due to cousin marriages, but again there are others who says no according to Islam or Quran it is not forbidden.
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u.love.me |
Group: Members Joined: 24th Apr, 2008 Topic: 2 Post: 5 Age:
32
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| Posted on:30th Apr 2008, 4:03am |
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to shanzeh
Dear ,
Hum muslim allah me yekin rakh te hain. hamara yekin hain ki life and death,
rizq, ijjat aur jillat allah ke hath me hain. hum kismat pe yekin karte hain ki
jo hamare kismat me hain wohi milehga n kum n jyada.
agar aap bhi yekin karti
hain jaisa ki aap ne apne second post me kaha hain to aap bhi is bat me
yekin kigiy ki aap ki shadi aap ke first
cousin se hona aap dono ki kismat hain
aur aap ki aulad ka fouth hon bhi aap ki kismet hain. Gindagi aur moth allah ke
hath me hain n ki aap ke y doctor ke hath me hain. Allah ne farma hain ki maine kisi ko kuch diya aur phir
leliya aur usne sabr kiya to main use aur deta hoon. Aap sabar kare aur allah de dua mange(kami y
zayad allah maf kare).
Jisa aap
ne bataya ki aap aur aap ke husband parhej gar hain aur unse aap ko koi taklif
nahi hain to aap sirf eak co-incident per unse divorce chah ti hain ki aap ke
aur aap ki bhai ke aulad ki condition
eak jaisa hain. Agar genetic problem jis
ki aap bat karrahi hain agar who itna hi jayada hot to sab se pahle cousin marriage
ko gulf countries me band hojata. Yeha per to mostly cousin ya khandan me hi
shadi hoti hain. Aap allah pe bharosha
rakhe aur is bat ko dil se nikal do ki aap ki shadi first cousin se shadi hue
hain es liye aap ki aulad ka intakal hogaya.
Aap apne husband ko sirf apne khavind ken ajar se deke aur dil kol kar
sex kare aur apne shadishudah jindagi ka maza le. Pregnancy
ke duran aap ache se doctor se apna regular checkup karat e rahey.
Jaisa ki
aap ne batay aki aap ke husband hala kamate aur Islamic rule se rahte hain to islam ke
hishb se aap se mohabbat bhi bahut karte honge. Sirf is bat pe ki allah ne di hui neamt
(aulad) ko wapis le liya aap talak le na chahta hain jo islam ke buniyad ke
khilaf hain. Islam miya bibi ko payar mohabbat se rahne ki talim deta hain. Maine
sunah hain ki talak allah ko pashand nai aur allah subhaw-tala naraj hote hain
(agar galat hao to allah mafkare). Hamare society me talak lena bura mana jata
hain chahe wo kisi bhi wjah se ho. Aap ka pahla
option y bataba hain ki aap apne husband se itna mohabbat rakhti hain ki aap
unke liya aapne khusi yani aulad ki kurbani dene ko tayar hain
(allah aisi bivi sab ko de … amin). Magar dusa option y batata hain ki aap
khudgarj hain aap apne khushi ke samne dusro ki jajbat ki parwah nai karti. Jab
aap ki beti ka intakal hua to sirf aap ko taklif hui y aap ke husband ko bhi
hui. Agar yehi khayal aap ke man me anese pahle agar aap ke husband ke dil me
ae hoti aur aap ko malum hojata ki oh aap ko talak denewale hain to aap ke dil
par kaya gujarti. Aap apne aap ko unke jagah per rakh ke soche. Aap apne husband ko usgunah ki saja dena
chahti hain jo usne nahi kiy. Allah aap ko sabar de aur shidah rasta dekhae.
Agar mere bato se kisi ka bhi dil
duka hain to mujhe maaf ke aur mujh gunhe gar ko bhi aapni duao me yadrakhe.
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My Reply |
Group: Members Joined: 19th Sep, 2010 Topic: 2 Post: 2015 Age:
34
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| Posted on:30th Apr 2008, 4:05am |
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re: first cousin marriage Medical point of view se First cousin marriage nahi kerni chahiye. kio nahi kerni chahiye os ki detail tu ham bata sakte hai, lekin Islam mai kio mana nahi kia gia hai os ka jawab mujhe nahi maloom.
waise kuch doosre mazahib including hindu mazhab mai First Cousin marriage mana hai. Hindu mazhab mai na sirf first cousin balke qareebi rishtadar se bhi shaadi mana hai.
medical science bhi yahi kehta hai keh jetne qareebi rishtadar se aap shaadi kare ge, otna hi paida hone wale baby mai genetic defect ka chances ziadah ho ga. is ka yeh matlab bhi nahi keh first cousin aur qareebi rishtadar se shaadi kerne se genetic defect hoga, balkeh sirf yeh kaha jaa raha hai keh genetic defect hone ka chance on logo ke muqable mai ziadah hai jo keh first cousin marriage nahi kerte. |
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My Reply |
Group: Members Joined: 19th Sep, 2010 Topic: 2 Post: 2015 Age:
34
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| Posted on:30th Apr 2008, 4:22am |
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Genetic Disorder Genetic disorer generally do (two) qisim ki hoti hai. aik dominant aur doosri recessive. dominant defect fori zahir hoti hai, jabkeh recessive defect fori zahir nahi hoti.
aap youn samajh le har dabba ya botal ka makhsoos dhakkan hota hai. agar woh makhsoos dhakan mil jaaye tu dabba ya botal band ho sakta hai warna nahi.
recessive genetic defect mai bhi yahi hota hai, is mai baby ko genetic bimari ka half part milta hai. os half part se genetic bimari zahir nahi hoti, woh tab hi zahir ho gi jab os ka second part mil jaaye ga.
second part sage bhai bahan mai hota hai (sage bhai bahan ki shaadi allow nahi hai), os ke baad first cousin ki baari aati hai, os ke baad qareebi rishtadar ki. kabhi kabhi randomly ghair rishtadar se shaadi kerne se bhi recessive genetic defect ka 2nd half mil jaata hai, jis ke nateeja mai paida hone wale baby mai genetic defect hota hai.
isi liye medical science kehti hai keh aap first cousin aur qareebi rishtadar se shadi na kare, takeh agar aap ke andar recessive genetic defect hoga tab bhi woh zahir nahi hoga aur koi pareshaani ki baat nahi. lekin first cousin aur qareebi rishtadar se shaadi kerne par recessive gentic defect ke 2nd half milne ka chance barh jaaye ga. aur agar khuda na khasta first cousin mai woh second half hua tu dono ki shaadi mai hone wale baby mai genetic defect zahir ho jaaye ga.
is ka matlab yeh hua keh abhi jo aap bazahir normal nazar aa arahe hai, lekin ho sakta hai keh aap aur aap ke bachche mai bhi recessive genetic defect ho jo keh zahir nahi ho raha hai aur aap samajh rahe hai keh aap ko koi genetic defect nahi hai. lehaza first cousin se shaadi kerte waqt yeh samajhna keh ham dono tu normal hai apne aap ko dhoka dene ke barabar ho ga.
isi tarah koi zaroori nahi keh first cousin marriage mai har baby mai genetic defect ho. agar pahla baby normal hua hai tu doosre mai defect ho sakta hai, yeh bhi mumkin hai keh pahle mai defect tha lekin ab baqi mai nahi ho ga. kis ko hoga aur kis ko nahi hoga is ka aik complex mechanism hai jis ko yaha samjhana mushkil hai. |
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nadeem AOL |
Group: Members Joined: 26th Nov, 2007 Topic: 8 Post: 265 Age:
29
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| Posted on:30th Apr 2008, 8:11am |
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Shehnaz & My Reply Shehnaz :- What you have metioned, according to that doctor does not fall into First Cousions category.
Anyway, i discussed that Hadith, which i qouted earlier, with the Aalim Sahib of our Masjid and he told me that Imam Ghazali is not amongst Muhaddiseen, so his qouted Hadith can't be taken for granted as Saheeh; he said further that we will have to look into that Hadith in details with respect to circumstances of that time when he qouted it. He said that there is nowhere mentioned in Qura'an and Saheeh Hadith that First Cousion marriages are forbidden. It can be according to new researches in medical sciences that the Risk of carrying genetic diseases in First Cousions are greater But what about those couples who are not close relatives but their children also are borned deffective ??
So the marriage in close relatives can be avoided on medical grounds but to say anything Haraam or Forbidden, is the Authority of ALLAH and His Prophet (PBUH). My Reply has explained it medicaly well. So, i think you should keep praying to Allah that May He bless you with healthy and perfect children. I think that you must have known about the story of a blind man praying in Ka'bah for his sight back. Hazrat Umer (R.A.) passed by that man and got angery at him because of the way he was praying. He told him angerly that if you wont get your sight back then i'll kill you. That blind man started crying whole heartedly and prayed Allah to give him his sight back and he got it. Try to pray with whole heartedly, inshallah you will get what you want.
My Reply:- Please explain it for me that how can i get to know about whether i have Recessive Genetic Deffect or Dominant Genetic Deffect in myself ?? My cousion is my Khala's daughter as well as my Chacha's daughter. History of my father's family is that : there are Heart Disease and Suger. My mother's family has got Sight Problem, Heart Disease, Suger.
To say NO to marry with my cousion is impossible for me. Her eye sight number is approximately 3, mine is 1.5. What steps should i take to minimise the risk of carrying genetic diseases into the next generation. Please suggest something.
Cheers.
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My Reply |
Group: Members Joined: 19th Sep, 2010 Topic: 2 Post: 2015 Age:
34
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| Posted on:30th Apr 2008, 10:48am |
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re: genetic disorder test Nadeem: Generally yeh maloom kerna bahut mushkil hai. mujhe is silsile mai ziadah maloomat nahi. lekin mera khial hai keh detail DNA test se shaid maloom ki ja sakta ho jo bahut hi ziadah costly ho ga. ziadah behtar jawab koi genetic ke specialist hi de sakte hai.
First cousin se shaadi ka yeh matlab nahi keh genetic disorder ho ker hi rahe ga. balkeh yeh kaha jaata hai keh genetic disorder ke chances on logo ke muqabla mai ziadah hota hai jo keh cousin nahi hai. aap ko pareshan hone ki koi zaroorat nahi, aap be-fikir ho ker apni khala ki larki se shaadi ker le.
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ch Babar |
Group: Members Joined: 15th Jul, 2007 Topic: 32 Post: 1869 Age:
38
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| Posted on:30th Apr 2008, 11:25pm |
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Cousin Marraige Meri shadi bhi 1st couisn se hoi hae aor mujay bhi bohat dar tha laikin Allah Ka shuker hae meri daughter bikul healthy hae.laikin jo couple cousin nahi hotay un ke haan genetic disorder baby kaisay paida ho jatay hian ??????? |
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My Reply |
Group: Members Joined: 19th Sep, 2010 Topic: 2 Post: 2015 Age:
34
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| Posted on:30th Apr 2008, 11:44pm |
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genetic bimari ko samajhne ki misal ch babar: aap Rs. 100 ke note ke Two pieces ker de. note ka aik piece os waqt tak bekar hai jab tak keh os ka doosra part na mil jaaye.
ab agar doosra part 1-2 admi mai se kisi ke jaib mai ho ga tu foran mil jaaye ga. lekin 100 aadmi mai se kisi aik ke jaib mai hoga tu mushkil se mile ga. jabkeh 10,000 aadmi mai se kisi aik ke jaib mai hoga tu milne ke chance taqreeban na hone ke barabar hai (lekin mil bhi sakte hai)
bilkul yahi haal genetic bimari ka hai. jab tak genetic bimari ka doosra part nahi mile ga os waqt tak genetic bimari zahir nahi hogi. doosra part sage bhai bahan mai hota hai (1-2 aadmi wali misal hai), jabkeh first cousin mai (100 aadmi wali misal hai) doosra part nasbatan jald mil sakta hai, ghair rishtadar mai shaadi (10,000 aadmi wali misal hai) ki soorat mai genetic bimari ke doosre part ke milne ka imkan bahut kam hai (lekin namumkin nahi)
First cousin marriage mai genetic bimari honi zaroori nahi. kio keh zaroori nahi keh aap ke andar koi genetic bimari bhi ho.
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ch Babar |
Group: Members Joined: 15th Jul, 2007 Topic: 32 Post: 1869 Age:
38
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| Posted on:30th Apr 2008, 11:48pm |
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My Reply kya ultrasound se pata chal sakta hae ke babay gentic beemari wala ho ga????? |
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My Reply |
Group: Members Joined: 19th Sep, 2010 Topic: 2 Post: 2015 Age:
34
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| Posted on:30th Apr 2008, 11:59pm |
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re: ultra sound and genetic illness generally pata nahi chalta, ziadah obvious fault ho tu nazar aa sakta hai.
jin logo ki first cousin marriage ho chuki hai ya hone wali hai, on ke liye arz hai ke bilkul pareshan aur fikir kerne ki zaroorat nahi hai. kio keh first cousin mai shaadi se genetic defect wali baby nahi hoti, balkeh non-cousin ke muqable mai chance ziadah hota hai. is ka yeh matlab nahi keh sari baby genetic defect ke saath hi hoti hai.
albatta general logo ko mashwarah hai keh apni first cousin balke qareebi rishtadar se shaadi na kare (arrange). lekin agar mohabbat (love)ho jaye tu phir allah ka name leker ker le.
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nadeem AOL |
Group: Members Joined: 26th Nov, 2007 Topic: 8 Post: 265 Age:
29
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| Posted on:30th Apr 2008, 4:03pm |
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My Reply ! Thank you very much for the explanation.
Cheers.
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