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19naseem79 |
Group: Members Joined: 29th Dec, 2012 Topic: 2 Post: 5 Age:
34
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| Posted on:1st Jan 2013, 2:38pm |
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 need help from Kali Zuban
Dear Kali Zuban,
I need your help improving my understanding. The questions are the same but the context is different. First, I will briefly explain the context. In the coming three months, I am going to marry a girl who recently got divorced. The reason for the divorce was that her husband being impotent. She tried to get divorced number of times but her father fierce opposition didn't let it happen until her younger brother took the charge. Her marriage lasted for 8 years in which, I believe, she suffered essentially the marital rape. Along with it she suffered a lot of character assassination. Given this context, here are my question. I hope being a woman you can answer better.
1) Should I attempt the intercourse on the wedding night? I am thinking perhaps it would be better to delay to for couple of weeks. Being victim of marital rape, she might have developed a strong disliking of intercourse.
2) I have heard that unsuccessful intercourse put girl in stress, sometimes it can be intense. Given that her ex-husband was impotent, then I think any unsuccessful attempt from me may significantly increase the intensity of the stress.
3) It will take time for her to overcome her trauma. What can I do to help her out of the trauma sexually and otherwise?
4) Don't you think your wedding night tips require a revision in this context?
5) Here is another point. If I don't attempt the intercourse on the wedding night, would it hurt her self-concept? Would she feel as if she isn't precious?
Any help from you, Kali Zuban, is greatly appreciated. Besides I welcome others suggestions as well. Thanks.
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Einstein |
Group: Members Joined: 24th Jul, 2012 Topic: 13 Post: 478 Age:
24
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| Posted on:2nd Jan 2013, 7:04am |
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 i think kali zuban has left
kafi dair ho gai hai kali zuban nahin aa rahin is forum per,shaid forum per bury haalaat ki wajah sai. |
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19naseem79 |
Group: Members Joined: 29th Dec, 2012 Topic: 2 Post: 5 Age:
34
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| Posted on:4th Jan 2013, 2:40pm |
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Kali Zuban gives actual picture Well, then anyone else have his or her suggestions?
Usually in forums members can send each other emails. This forum doesn't have this option otherwise she could have respond me directly.
wasay kia buray haalaat hae?... There will always be many posting nonsensical questions. Let me tell you that books available in this forums are basically free translations of sex guides of the Western worlds. The books on this forum, though not useless, doesn't present the real world picture, especially in the Pakistani context. I would say use them with caution.
Anyway, someone else should take her place for guidance. She was doing great service for women by educating men.
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mohd_irfan |
Group: Members Joined: 29th Jul, 2010 Topic: 12 Post: 30 Age:
25
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| Posted on:5th Jan 2013, 8:15am |
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one try Dear sir,
I am not enough aged to give you answer, but i will try. First of all, if you want to remove your wife from trauma, than you should do intercourse at wedding night, everyone has dreams, and it may be helpful to complete your wife dreams, which had not completed. Be confident she is your wife now, so don't let remember her past. and start a new life. trust on god & pray 2 rakat namaz with her at wedding night before starting your marriage life.Everything will be fine!!! Best of luck
Please give your suggestion kali zuban !!!
Regards,
Mohammad Irfan |
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19naseem79 |
Group: Members Joined: 29th Dec, 2012 Topic: 2 Post: 5 Age:
34
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| Posted on:5th Jan 2013, 10:52am |
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thanks mohd_irfan Thanks for your suggestion. I am too thinking on these lines that I should make an attempt so that she won't feel worthless or tainted. My concern is that any such attempt can also bring the past memories. But perhaps it is better to take the risk. At least she would be assured that she isn't worthless for me. I should trust the God and go for the thing which is likely to boast her self-concept.
Regards,
Naseem
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Einstein |
Group: Members Joined: 24th Jul, 2012 Topic: 13 Post: 478 Age:
24
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| Posted on:5th Jan 2013, 11:35pm |
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Dear irfan You are asking for suggestions from kali zuban,she is not visiting the forum due to the worst condition of the forum.just pray for this forum that all the old members comeback. |
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alirajput |
Group: Members Joined: 16th Mar, 2012 Topic: 5 Post: 538 Age:
30
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| Posted on:5th Jan 2013, 2:11pm |
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"all the old members comeback. "
nahiN anaye walaye... DuaN karlooN, lolz |
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Einstein |
Group: Members Joined: 24th Jul, 2012 Topic: 13 Post: 478 Age:
24
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| Posted on:5th Jan 2013, 10:17pm |
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alirajput aap bohat mazaaq karte hain,pata nahin sab kahan chaly gai |
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alirajput |
Group: Members Joined: 16th Mar, 2012 Topic: 5 Post: 538 Age:
30
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| Posted on:6th Jan 2013, 4:09am |
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ali8765
sab tang akar forum policies ki wajah se, chor char kal chale gaye, maiN abhi tak nahiN gaya kuch aur deegar membrs ki tarha kyun ke maiN abhi tak tang nahiN aya.. By the way koi tang aya ya na aya, ye meri personal soch he, wajah ke taur pe.. |
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Einstein |
Group: Members Joined: 24th Jul, 2012 Topic: 13 Post: 478 Age:
24
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| Posted on:6th Jan 2013, 7:40am |
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Bilkul,forum policies ki wajah sai Yai aap ki personal soch nahn,blkey such hai |
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muddz |
Group: Members Joined: 24th Dec, 2012 Topic: 1 Post: 49 Age:
31
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| Posted on:6th Jan 2013, 7:20pm |
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hi naseem 1. u shouldnt go for da sex at first give her love nd care her response will tell u dat wot to do if she would b comfortable tu app kr sakty ho
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muddz |
Group: Members Joined: 24th Dec, 2012 Topic: 1 Post: 49 Age:
31
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| Posted on:6th Jan 2013, 7:22pm |
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2.if u tried sex for first night then plzb confident nd fail na hona ist try mein he insert ho jana yehe best hota ha
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muddz |
Group: Members Joined: 24th Dec, 2012 Topic: 1 Post: 49 Age:
31
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| Posted on:6th Jan 2013, 7:23pm |
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3.just give her da feeling dat she is so special ...give her care as its shown in urwords
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muddz |
Group: Members Joined: 24th Dec, 2012 Topic: 1 Post: 49 Age:
31
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| Posted on:6th Jan 2013, 7:25pm |
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5. ist night sex say zayad love making zarori hoti becoz from ds a girl comes to know dat she is special ... nd precious ..... as m telling u from my experience :-)
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Einstein |
Group: Members Joined: 24th Jul, 2012 Topic: 13 Post: 478 Age:
24
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| Posted on:7th Jan 2013, 7:36am |
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Dear muddz Kia yai sab kuch aik hi post main nahn kaga ja sakta? |
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19naseem79 |
Group: Members Joined: 29th Dec, 2012 Topic: 2 Post: 5 Age:
34
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| Posted on:7th Jan 2013, 12:39pm |
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Thanks muddz I really appreciate your kind advice. I will give the care and see whether she is comfortable for the wedding night intercourse making it second priority. The flexibility will be the key here then. Once again, warm thanks for input and sharing your experience.
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muddz |
Group: Members Joined: 24th Dec, 2012 Topic: 1 Post: 49 Age:
31
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| Posted on:7th Jan 2013, 1:30pm |
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dear ali765 my msg is nt working dats y i wrote in title nd u cant write more then 3 lines in title :-)
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muddz |
Group: Members Joined: 24th Dec, 2012 Topic: 1 Post: 49 Age:
31
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| Posted on:7th Jan 2013, 1:35pm |
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Dear naseem u r most welcome
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