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Maham12345 |
Group: Members Joined: 23rd Sep, 2012 Topic: 2 Post: 28 Age:
23
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| Posted on:25th Sep 2012, 12:06pm |
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 Need suggestions....Love
Assalam Alaikum
we have been talking since 4 years ... he's a very good frnd of mine .......i think i love him alot...n it increases day by day ...we used to talk daily........I'm not able to understand his behaviour wid me ..... somtimes he pays alot of attention to me ...... n sometimes he totally ignores me don talk to me for days ....if i contact to him he just reply wid yes or no or some times says tht em busy i cant talk or " i don wanna talk now " n vanish for som days n make me feel lyk we r strangers to each other when he's busy or start somother work he totally forgets me ..... n tht tym i feel so deppressed i cry alot....i don understand y he does this after evry week or 15 days it has became his routine now..... he talks rudly .... vanish for some days ... thn we had a bit fight ..... thn he gets normal.. sometimes more better ...thn after somedays he does the same.......n when he's normal.... he talks to me nicly but always in huryy ... n keep saying .... talk fastly i don have time .. i have to go i have to sleep......i don understand y he does tht ...... he hurts me alot....very badly... but never apologize ....if i ask thn he does .... what should i do .... ?? i can't leave him, im so attached to him .....i feel so lonely widout him ... n i don know wheather he feels the same or not .....i feel lyk he wants me to leave but when ever i ask... he used to say if i 'll wanna leave talking to u i 'll tell u directly. plz tell me wht shud i do ...
thank you . |
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Maham12345 |
Group: Members Joined: 23rd Sep, 2012 Topic: 2 Post: 28 Age:
23
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| Posted on:25th Sep 2012, 1:38pm |
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Replyyy
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fahad hussain khan |
Group: Members Joined: 26th Apr, 2012 Topic: 4 Post: 862 Age:
24
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| Posted on:25th Sep 2012, 9:57pm |
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maham same sedhi bat k wo bus janchurana chahta hai our kiya.our ase boys k bht sae chkr hote hain our larki bus khilona hote hai in jaso k liye jis trha se chaha khiala phr use k bad jb apnane k time aya tb phr chor diya phr koi our khilona .so avoid this relation plz and our isalm before marrage not a concept off love.mere bat suno ap sincer ho us se pori trha is liye ko taqlef ho rahe hain and ap akela pun mehsos krte when he not takin with you almost 15 days To is doran agr is liye wo ggafil hua k wo already kise our larkio mian interest hai our us ne just time pas kiya ap k sth.nh tu ek din tu kiy ek hour ya ek pal hi bht buda hota hai ruthe hue ko manane main in case wo bh ap se utna hi piyar karta hu jtna k ap us se.so jitna hu use chor do is k yehi hal hai.khmkha khd ko kosti raho ge tu bemar par jao ge ap yahan khon jalao our wo whan ayashiyan kre. |
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Maham12345 |
Group: Members Joined: 23rd Sep, 2012 Topic: 2 Post: 28 Age:
23
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| Posted on:26th Sep 2012, 2:16pm |
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hmm
bro. thnx for reply ...... but itna to muyjhey maloom hai k kisi or mein interested nahi ......or na hi kbi tym pass kya hai mujhse.....we r simply frnd normal baat cheet hi hoti hai ........baki jaan churana chahta ho ab ... may be aap yahan sahi ho :(
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goodmorals |
Group: Members Joined: 06th Mar, 2012 Topic: 0 Post: 93 Age:
28
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| Posted on:26th Sep 2012, 11:19pm |
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Maham12345 listen!!
women are naturally more emotional than men. whenever somebody talks with love or show affiliation, they start thinking and realizing that he is everything for them. love and affection is women weakness.
at the beginning of the relation both boys and girls show them a very sincere and nice, when time goes by, they get used to each other relationship charm tends to decline. if he can make u friend, he can also make another girlfriend. actually majority of the girls see their relationship as sincere and caring partner who will eventually marry. similar could be the case with u, but he might no longer interested with you.
actually u r running behind him, thats y you have loose ur charm as well as ur dignity as a female. in my opinion he is just passing time, and such cases are very common. leave him, preserve ur dignity and don't do that again. life is fast and real and he better knows, he is just busy in making his life better...
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s.sandhu |
Group: Members Joined: 26th Sep, 2012 Topic: 1 Post: 15 Age:
23
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| Posted on:26th Sep 2012, 11:44pm |
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BE CALM AND THINK Walaikumasalam Maham,Duniya mein har koi aik jaisa nahi hota leikn phir bhi, jaisa ap nay likha hay waisa meray sath aik saal pehlay ho chuka hay. Mein bohut sanjeeda thi aur hamari teen saal tak baat cheet rahi, leikn Allah ko kuch aur hi manzoor tha aur Allah ka karna acha hua kay uss insaan kay nichlay darjay kay kartoot meray samnay aagai. Mein bhi apki tarah bohut pareshan rehti thi, ajeeb si kaifiyat rehti thi. Mujhay andaza tha uskay baray mein leikn mein apnay khayalat ko hamesha jhutla dayti thi. Woh apni kharab khuwahishat ko kai aur jagahon say pura kar raha tha kyunkay mein nay usay hadd say zyada agay kabhi nahi barhnay dia aur mujhay apni iss baat par sukoon aur itmenan raha uskay sath har talluq khatam kartay huay kay woh meray kirdar ko chah kar bhi zara sa bhi kharab nahi karsakta tha. Meri tabiyat taqreeban dhai haftay kharab rahi depression ki waja say leikn meray waldain thora ghussay kay baad theek hogai aur mera kafi waqt say aik rishta aya hua tha meinnay uskay liye razamandi day di.Iss waqt ap jin marahil say guzar rahi hein mein samjh sakti hon leikn banda jis say pyar muhabbat karta hay uskay liye thora sa waqt khud nikalta hay, kisi career ya stress ka bahana bohut bewaqufana hota hay.Meinnay apnay shohur ko sari suratehal bata di thi shadi say pehlay aur unko koi aitraz nahi hua, he believed and trusted on me aur hum dono ab khushaal zindagi guzar rahay hein.Apko sari baat batanay aur samjhanay ka yehi maqsad hay kay, be strong! Ghabranay aur soch soch kar khud ko takleef pohunchanay say kuch nahi hota. Inn mamlaat mein faisla karna hota hay. Duniya mein aisay bohut log hotay hein jo apki qadar kartay hein. Ap pareshan nahi hon, araam say shuru say lekar saari baatein sochein aur faisla karein. Hosaktay tou namaz ki pabandi rakhein aur istikhara karlein, INSHALLAH Allahtala apki rehnumai karein gay.
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Maham12345 |
Group: Members Joined: 23rd Sep, 2012 Topic: 2 Post: 28 Age:
23
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| Posted on:28th Sep 2012, 6:36am |
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prb in reading... this topic doesnot show lyk others.....buhat mushkil se scrool ker k perhna per raha hai ... ye theek nahi ker skakta koi moderator...?
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Maham12345 |
Group: Members Joined: 23rd Sep, 2012 Topic: 2 Post: 28 Age:
23
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| Posted on:28th Sep 2012, 7:43am |
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Assalam Alaikum Thank you so much 'good morals' n 's. sandhu' ....... mashAllah baray achey andaz or care se aap logon ne samjhaya ...em so thankful to u ........
mera masla thora bht worse hai ... starting mein mene nahi chaha k mein poori terha se wazah keroon ...... but shyd ab detail deyna zaroori hai...
hamari baat ko 3 saal huay hongey tb he proposed me ..... i replied in yes.....mera aik rishta aya hua tha .. i told him he didnot pay much attention ...or kuch din tk us ne bat kerna bhi chor di ...last day us se bat hui tb us ne kaha mein apni ammi se bat kerta hoon .... thn kaha dadi mein sb busy hein wo beemar hai cant.....or usi din merey parents rishta pakka ker chukey ...mene us doran isthikhara kya hua tha mujhey dil mein lag raha tha maybe hez not serious....... meri mom ko thora andaza tha mera ( mene direct bat nahi ki thi sirf roka tha k kuch din ruk jao ) mager wo interested nahi thi meri merzi se kerney mein ........
after some tym ......us se bat hui we decided aik bartry ker leytey hein .....he told me k tumne ghalat kya mene aik year manga tha .....u intizar kerti one year .... or mujhey maloom nahi tha k hamaray beech ye bat hui thi ... koi misunderstanding thi....khair us ney apney gher mein bat ki mene apney .....uski mom ne mana kya ......mager he told me k mein kese bhi mana loonga tum apni ammi ko manaoo.....us ne kaha mein accident kerwa k apna mana loonga ... mene usey is se mana kya ......is ne kaha tumhari mom se mein bat kerta hoon .......thn meine khud se apni mom ko bht manaya force kya ....but last unhone aisa kaha k tumhein kerni hai to kerwa deyti hoon but us k bad kbhi bat na krna humse koi rishta na rakhna ( raeson ye tha k haamrey yahan out of community nahi ekrtey...or meri mangni jahan hui thi wo bazahir buhat achey dikhtey they ).....again mujhey laga Allah ki merzi ..mene ussey mana ker diya ...bat khatam hogai ...
mangni k tym jb mein waha jati thi to wo kuch bura sa sulook kertey they ......mene ammi se kaha unhoney thora smjha k thora bht her jaga hotya hai we have to adjust ...... or thora unhein laga k shyd mein yunhi karing ta k toot jai...is waqt mene is thikhara nahi kya ...werna zindagi k her ehem mamley mein meine isthikhara kya ....!
after some months meri shadi hogai ...:(..... buhat hi worse rahi .....aik aik din mushkil tha bht kbhi kbi aik aik min bhi .....mujhey laga shyd uski bad dua lagi khair jo bhi tha .........shadi k 3 months bad usne mulk se baher ja k divorce dedi....
iddat k kuch aik adh month bad is ki taraf se kuch isharat milay ... mene reply mein kuch nahi kaha ...hamari achi bat chet shuru hui mager uski wuhi routine jo hamesha se thi jesa tha ........at tht tym i cant think abt it......mager ab jb kisi rishtey ki b bat chalti hai to meri halat bht ajeeb hojati hai .....3-4 months huay ab.
mein abhi 4 dino se isthikhara ker rahi hoon......is doran us se khul k is pe bat hui .... he told me k he still loves me n wants to marry me .....mager usko tym lageyga or kitna tym lageyga is ka kuch andaza nahi ..... mene us se kaha k jo loug tym ki bat kertey hein wo serious nahi hotey ....he told me k uski sis hai uski shadi kerni hai us se pehley he cant do anything ......5-6 months se us k abuu jobless hain ....or thora loss bhi hua hai ..... to us pe ammi abbu k kuch faraiz hain.
n he told me k mein tmhe intizaar kerney k liye bound nahi kerta .... k tym ka kuch andaza nahi .....us ne bola meri waja se lyf kharab na kerna koi acha rishta ai to inkar nahi kerna ....
iski in baton ne mujhey or uljhan mein dal diya .......mujhey kucuh saajh nahi araha ......mein ussey khona nahi chahti or paya hua bhi nah hai :) ......
sorry ager ye post khasi lambi lagey to or ajjeb lagey tb bhi ........ or plzz poori post perh k kuch suggest karein i'll be thankful to u ppl .
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Maham12345 |
Group: Members Joined: 23rd Sep, 2012 Topic: 2 Post: 28 Age:
23
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| Posted on:29th Sep 2012, 7:44am |
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reply..... plzzz anybody reply ......
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s.sandhu |
Group: Members Joined: 26th Sep, 2012 Topic: 1 Post: 15 Age:
23
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| Posted on:29th Sep 2012, 10:20am |
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Don't worry Apnay sahi kaha, masla paycheeda tou hay. Har cheeze kay do pehlu hotay hein. I am sorry to hear what you have been through. Apnay usay jo kaha woh bhi theek kaha, is baat ka andaza apko bhi hoga kay iss baar han karwana pehlay say kafi zyada mushkil hoga.
Leikn mustaqbil mein agar ap achi job nahi kartein tou har aurat ko financial stability darkar hoti hay. Kehnay ka matlab yeh hay kay hosakta hay woh abhi bhi serious ho aur apki zindagi uskay sath acchi guzray. Magar aik jaga apnay community ka masla bhi bataya...agar maan baap chahtay hein kay apka ghar phir say bas jai tou bohut achi baat hay... Leikn koi bhi step laynay say pehlay apko har taraf aur har lihaz say sochna hoga, kyunkay issay apki puri zindagi asar andaz hogi. Allah na karay kal ko agar woh shadi kar kay palat gaya tou duniya usay kuch nahi kahay gi, sab ap par ungli uthayein gay. Jis par guzri hoti hay wohi janta hay, but I would suggest kay agar woh time mang raha hay tou give him and don't rush things. Observe him for each minor thing as well and don't confront.
Don't hesitate to share your problem, we are here to help :-) |
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Maham12345 |
Group: Members Joined: 23rd Sep, 2012 Topic: 2 Post: 28 Age:
23
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| Posted on:30th Sep 2012, 9:50am |
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thank u so much ..... sister ......aap k reply se kafi samajh aai .... ji community ka masla is bar shyd na ho ..... isthikharay k bd merey kaan mein aisi kuch bat bhi pari ....meri family ki taraf se shyd hi thori si ho uski family ka andaza nahi ....... aapki suggestion achi hai tym deyney ki ......... wese lrka or uski family yun achay hain ... shadi k bad ka prob. as such aisa nahi lagta ..... but the prob is k wo koi exact tym nahi mang raha ... or wo tym mangney k bad waqai is cheez pe atal raheyga ....k nahi .... or doosra jo masla hai wo us k careless attitude ka hai .......jese aap ne kaha tha k if we care abt somone ... hum tym manage kertey hein .....to iska is cheez se kuch samajh nahi ata ... baton se sincereity dikhti hai ... bt herkataien kuch theek ...or kuch careless attitude uljha deyta hai ..... meri is se usi waqt is bat pe bat hui thi to he said k .....'.her insan aik terha se phsycho hota hai ......koi na koi bat us mein aisi pai jati hai ... or mujh mein ye hai ..or mein khud apni is cheez se pareshan hoon' ..... or mein bhi iski is bat se agree kerti hoon kisi hed tk k waqai her insan mein aisa kuch na kuch hota hai .........
last us se jab bat hui to he said k hes too confussed wo aik faisla nahi ker pa raha .....or kaha k uski family uski shadi kerwa bhi dey aik adh saal mein or kerwana bhi chahti hai mager wo nahi chahta us k kuch goals hain besides responsiblities us se pehley wo nahi ker skta kuch .......mene ussey isthikhara kerney ka kaha hai k maybe us se uski confusions door hon ..... |
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s.sandhu |
Group: Members Joined: 26th Sep, 2012 Topic: 1 Post: 15 Age:
23
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| Posted on:30th Sep 2012, 7:48pm |
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Stay normal, but keep close eye on him I am a psychologist too and by having conversation with you I don't feel that you are psycho or somethingelse. You speak/write and think alot, but that does not make you insane. Please do not under-estimate yourself! The best way now in this situation is to stay calm and observe. I am sure you will get your answers. Be neutral and think.
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s.sandhu |
Group: Members Joined: 26th Sep, 2012 Topic: 1 Post: 15 Age:
23
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| Posted on:30th Sep 2012, 8:04pm |
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Aisay koi psycho nahi hota. LIFE is the name of problems. Usko aik mahina observe karein aur phir achanak kahein kay aj hi jawab do, ammi abbu puch rahay hein. USI DIN faisla hojai ga kay kitnay sincere hein janab...
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Maham12345 |
Group: Members Joined: 23rd Sep, 2012 Topic: 2 Post: 28 Age:
23
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| Posted on:1st Oct 2012, 7:29am |
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lyk ur suggestion ..... JazakAllah khair sis ........inshAllah all will be good ......mujhey laga k aap ne aik jaga bat ko shyd shyd missunderstood kya ......phsycho wo apney aapko hi keh raha tha ........apney careless atiitude pe us ne kaha k wo uska phsycho pan hai ....... k wo bht koshish k bawajood b apni us adat ko theek nahi ker pata or thn apni bat ko eloborate kerney k liye kaha k her insan aik terha se phsycho hai ...ya koi na koi aik adat us mein aisi hoti hai jis se wo khud bhi pareshan hota or kuch logon ko bhi kerta hai.
i really lyk ur suggestion ..........to be calm is a bit diff. :) ..... but inshaAllah i'l try n i 'll wait for a month n thn will ask to him directly :(......hope so us se pehley Allah us se koi behter decision dilwa dey .
agn jazakAllah khair dear
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s.sandhu |
Group: Members Joined: 26th Sep, 2012 Topic: 1 Post: 15 Age:
23
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| Posted on:2nd Oct 2012, 3:20pm |
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Yes, I misunderstood Yes I misunderstood and specified it in my second post :-) INSHA'ALLAH ap kay haq mein behtar ho... :-)
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Maham12345 |
Group: Members Joined: 23rd Sep, 2012 Topic: 2 Post: 28 Age:
23
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| Posted on:2nd Oct 2012, 4:32pm |
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wht u say ....?
at the tym of this waiting period... shud i talk to him by myself...??? kyun k uska meine aapko btaya na ... aik adh din bat thn phir 2-4 days ghayab ... he's still da same ......to is doran mujhey khud se us se koi conversation kerni chahiye normal chit chat ya i shud left it totally by myself ... ?? |
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s.sandhu |
Group: Members Joined: 26th Sep, 2012 Topic: 1 Post: 15 Age:
23
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| Posted on:3rd Oct 2012, 8:37am |
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Keep it normal, like you do IN MY OPINION, NO
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Maham12345 |
Group: Members Joined: 23rd Sep, 2012 Topic: 2 Post: 28 Age:
23
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| Posted on:6th Oct 2012, 8:06am |
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:) @s. sandhu ...... thnx dear for ur sincere suggestions ..... such a great forum it is ...:)
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s.sandhu |
Group: Members Joined: 26th Sep, 2012 Topic: 1 Post: 15 Age:
23
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| Posted on:14th Oct 2012, 4:47pm |
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:-) IT IS INDEED :-)
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