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sidra1 |
Group: Members Joined: 05th Nov, 2011 Topic: 7 Post: 171 Age:
29
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| Posted on:13th Nov 2011, 11:46pm |
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 re
my parents says i use to play alone i am a loner n i use to think same about myself but i want people around me friends around me people who are not harmful.my friend left me but she gave my no. to her student to abuse me.he said me bitch his words keep coming back to me when i told my friend about it she said u deserve it even more severe insult her rude voice keep coming back to me and now that teacher's words i am proven liar, i fabricate stories, i am psycho,3rd grade he say gay a 3rd grade n he wants to cut off my head. i want to get rid of all these memories. i have nightmares in my childhood as if someone usually darkness will eat me up n my mood changes rapidly even now a small thing remind of something painful n i at once get serious and silent at that time i want to leave the place sit alone and cry on my pain. i use to play with buttons alone and i use to think of as if they are doing sex and small size buttons were their children that was my favorite game n i keep playing like this from age 4 to 8,9 but i remember from age 6 onward.
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sidra1 |
Group: Members Joined: 05th Nov, 2011 Topic: 7 Post: 171 Age:
29
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| Posted on:15th Nov 2011, 11:02pm |
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doc u too do not believe me but i am not a liar they lie that i am a liar.
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psychdoc |
Group: Members Joined: 04th Mar, 2011 Topic: 11 Post: 1228 Age:
33
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| Posted on:15th Nov 2011, 2:40pm |
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Sidra 1:
How did you get the idea that I do not believe you or think that you are a liar? Did I ever say that or did you just assume??
I do not have any doubts that you are telling the truth, and I completely believe you.
The symptoms that you have described, including nightmares, excessive anxiety, persistent recollections( flashbacks) of bad memories like hearing the rude voice over and over again, all point towards the possibility of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). PTSD occurs very frequently in people that have been traumatized in some ways ( either physical trauma or emotional trauma). Common symptoms include excessive anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, feeling on the edge and getting startled easily, trying to avoid thoughts/memories related to trauma, and sleep problems etc etc. Feelings of lack of trust develop and the world appears to be an unsafe place, where no body could be trusted. The resulting isolation could be very painful. The good thing is that with proper treatment ( medications or talk therapy), this can be treated. The bad thing is that without treatment, it's likely to persist and maybe even worsen over time. In terms of treatment options, generally medications are very effective , but I can't mention any medication names on the forum because it is against forum policy. Other option is Cognitive Behavior Therapy or CBT, which is a form of talk therapy. However, CBT could be time consuming, lasting 3-4 months of weekly visits.
It does appear to me that your quality of life is significantly effected by the events that you have experienced and by your reaction to those events. It would be upto you to decide whether you want to continue to live your life like this or seek professional help. |
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sidra1 |
Group: Members Joined: 05th Nov, 2011 Topic: 7 Post: 171 Age:
29
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| Posted on:16th Nov 2011, 2:56am |
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doc thanks i was thinking about it last night n i had searched few doc here in islamabad i donot know how expensive it will be but i will tell u if i ordinate with any of these.
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sidra1 |
Group: Members Joined: 05th Nov, 2011 Topic: 7 Post: 171 Age:
29
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| Posted on:23rd Nov 2011, 12:02pm |
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doc i searched few doctors here but iam too shy to actually speak out such stuff in front of a stranger even if they are doc i mean writing thongs is quite easy but i fell totally uncomfortable when i picture myself telling my this problem to a stranger. i can not tell this to any one. i do not know what to do?
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psychdoc |
Group: Members Joined: 04th Mar, 2011 Topic: 11 Post: 1228 Age:
33
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| Posted on:24th Nov 2011, 12:33am |
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Sidra 1:
I completely understand that talking about such sensitive issues is difficult. However, that's where the skills and expertise of a good doctor come into play. A good doctor would help you feel comfortable first and foremost, and would not push you to disclose anything ( atleast initially) until you yourself are ready to bring it up. An easy way for you would be to start out with a general discussion about your mood and your anxieties and then gradually as you feel more comfortable, the discussion can turn to more sensitive issues. Ofcourse your doctor should help guide you through this process.
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psychdoc |
Group: Members Joined: 04th Mar, 2011 Topic: 11 Post: 1228 Age:
33
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| Posted on:15th Dec 2011, 12:34pm |
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Parents reactions to their child\'s abuse:
Kisi bhee parent kay liya yeh bohot barra shock hota hai jab unhain yeh patah lagta hai keh unka bacche ko kisi nay abuse kiya hai. Aisi news sunnay ka baad parents kay reactions kaye different types ka ho saktay hain: 1)Shock: Iss tarah ke news sunnay ka baad most common initial reaction Shock ka hota hai. Waisay to shock ka matlab sab he log jaanaty hain, magar specifically iss context mein shock ka matlab hai aik aisi temporary stage jis mein sochna samajhna ke salahiat khatam yaa bohot kam ho jaati hai. Kiyonkeh iss kaafiat mein zehan sahih kaam nahin kar raha hota iss liya aksar parents iss kafiaat mein aisi cheez kar baithta hain jo situation ko improve karnay ka bajae aur zyada kharab kar daiti hai. Iss silsila mein aisa kareebi logon ke mojoodgi bohot zaroori hoti hai jo parents ko iss shock ke situation mein over react karnay say bacha sakain. Shock ke kafiat generally few hours say few days ( 2-3 days) tak ho sakti hai. 2)Anger: Initial shock ka baad next reaction intense anger ka hota hai. Iss mein parents apna baccha kay abuse kiya jaanay ke khabar say itna upset aur angry ho jaatay hain keh unki thinking effected hoti hai, aur unka actions par unka control nahin rehta. Yeh anger physical aggression kee soorat mein saamni aata hai. Yeh aggression generally 3 types ke hoti hai. First type ke aggression mein parents yeh sochna ke bajay keh apna abused bachay ke help karain, usko hee blame karnay kagtay hain, aur uska khilaaf hee aggressive ho jaatay hain aur usko maarna peetna shorow kar daita haan. Second type ke aggression mein parents apna ghussa apna aap par hee nikalna lagtay hain, aur extreme cases mein suicide attempts bhee kar saktay hain. Third type ke aggression mein parents apna ghussa ka target uss shaks ko banata hain jis nei unka bachaa ko abuse kiya hai. Aksar yeh ghussa itna shadeed hota hai keh murder karna ke possibility bhee hoti hai. Anger ke stage mein bhee yeh bohot zaroori hai keh parents ko aisi kisi bhee cheez say roka jae jo aur zyada museebat aur pareshaani ka sabab banay. 3) Denial : Shock aur anger ke stages ka baad generaaly next stage denial ke stage hoti hai. Iss stage mein parents yeh sochna lagtay hain keh unka bachay kay saath koi abuse nahin hoa. Yaani woh iss fact ko deny karna lagta hain keh kisi nau unka bachay ka saath kuch bura kiya hai. Iss type ke thinking sub conscious level par develop hoti hai aur iss ka aik protective function hota hai, woh yeh keh denial ke wajah say atleast kuch dair ka liya zehan unn overwhelming emotions say bach jaata hai jin say abuse ke khabar sun kar parents ko guzarna parta hai. 4) Guilt: Next stage guilt ke hoti hai, jis mein parents apna aap ko blame karnay lagtay hain aur bachay kay abuse kay silsila mein apna aap ko hee qusoor waar samajhna lagtay hain, even though agar unki ghalti nah bhee ho. Yeh guilt ke feelings bohot nuqsaan deh hoti hain, kiyonkeh guilty parents apna bachon ke sahih tarah say help karna aur unko protect karnay mein effective nahin rehtay, jiska nateeja yeh hota hai keh bacchaa jisa apna parents ke full aur unconditional support aur help ke zaroorat hota hai, woh unki help say mehroom rehta hai, aur guilt ke feelings parents ko apnay bachoon ke help karnay kay bajae unko helpless bana daiti hain.
Inn stages ka awarenss har shaks kay liya zaroori hai, takeh woh aisa kisi unfortunate incident ke soorat mein parents kee properly aur effectively help kar sakain.
Next section mein main woh strategies describe karoon gaa jin par amal kar kay parents apna abused bachon ke sahih tarah say help kar sakain, aur unko iss abuse kay long term effects say kisi had tak recover hona mein apna role effectively ada kar sakain.
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psychdoc |
Group: Members Joined: 04th Mar, 2011 Topic: 11 Post: 1228 Age:
33
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| Posted on:18th Dec 2011, 2:52am |
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Aftermath of abuse:
Gee haan, jaisa mein nay article mein describe kiya kuch bachay abuse hona ka baad sexual aggression display karna lagta hain, for example sexual acting out behaviors display karna yaani doosron kaa saath excessive sexual touching/intercourse/excessive masturbation waghaira karna, aur barray ho kaar ussi pattern ko repeat karna jo khod unka apna saath
hoa thaa, yaani adult life mein aana ka baad doosray bachon ko abuse karna.
Jahan tak female frigidity ( almost complete lack of sexual desire) ke baat hai, iski main reason yeh hoti hai keh kuch females mein rape ka baad sexual activity ka khilaaf itni nafrat aa jaati hai keh phir woh normal sexual activity ko bhee avoid karna lagtee hain. Iska saath saath kuch females mein sexually abused hona kay baad yeh tendency bhee develop ho jaati hai keh woh apni self care karna chorr daiti hain, yaani apni hygeine waghira ka bilkul khayal nahin rakhteen aur apna aap ko bilkul unattractive bana laite haain. Iski main reason yeh hotee hai keh yeh females sochtee hain keh agar woh apna aap ko unattractive bana lain gee to hopefully phir kabhee koi inko dobarah rape nahin karay gaa. Iss thinking ke wajah say aur frigidity ke wajah say unke marital relationships effect hona lagtee hain. Iska hal yeh hai keh unka husband unsay upset hona ka bajae unko emotional support provide karain, aur unko encourage karain keh apni feelings ko ander hee dabana kay bajae apni true feelings apna spuse say discuss aur share karain. baghair spouse ke help aur understanding kay iss problem par qaaboo paana kaafi difficult ho jaata hai.
Agar self harm ke feelings yaani suicidal thoughts waghaira develop hona lagain to foran professional help laini chahye kiyonkeh yeh aik bohot serious situation hotee hai aur extreme depression ke possibility show kartee hai, jiska proper treatment hona zaroori hai. Iska saath saath koshish karain keh effected person ko emotional support provide karain, usko akaila nah chorain, aur koshish karain keh har waqt koi na koi uska ooper nazar rakhay.
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sidra1 |
Group: Members Joined: 05th Nov, 2011 Topic: 7 Post: 171 Age:
29
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| Posted on:3rd Jan 2012, 5:02am |
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psychdoc i am unable to compile n write what i feel when i read that insect topic i felt more insecure i am unable to sleep alone even if i take tablet i remain anxious i asked my friend to sleep with me virtually if we talk good my mind divert from it n i sleep well if we do not talk sort of fear hijack me. i feel i can not trust my own family members but in real they have not done any harm to me.
secondly, i think i am lesbian i feel attraction for women i dream of them i feel comfortable in few female friends company. is this all because i was abused by a women in childhood?
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goodman |
Group: Members Joined: 11th Oct, 2007 Topic: 59 Post: 7344 Age:
32
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| Blocked |
| Posted on:3rd Jan 2012, 5:54am |
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sidra sidra u have to control on ur self? |
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sidra1 |
Group: Members Joined: 05th Nov, 2011 Topic: 7 Post: 171 Age:
29
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| Posted on:3rd Jan 2012, 6:05am |
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goodman i know i am controlling myself since childhood i did not abuse any one.
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goodman |
Group: Members Joined: 11th Oct, 2007 Topic: 59 Post: 7344 Age:
32
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| Blocked |
| Posted on:3rd Jan 2012, 6:10am |
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sidra i am lesbian i feel attraction for women??why? |
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sidra1 |
Group: Members Joined: 05th Nov, 2011 Topic: 7 Post: 171 Age:
29
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| Posted on:3rd Jan 2012, 6:18am |
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goodman i donot know i am still searching its reason. i am 27 n i never ever liked any male never ever i feel comfortable with few people around exactly 2 female friends n one male friend who know i am lesbian n they donot hate me for it. i loved a woman but i never did any thing bad to her she too know i am lesbian n she left me most probably hates me. u can read above posts u will get clear of my problem i know its sickness n i donot appreciate it too but i am unable to get rid of it
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goodman |
Group: Members Joined: 11th Oct, 2007 Topic: 59 Post: 7344 Age:
32
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| Blocked |
| Posted on:3rd Jan 2012, 6:25am |
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sidra still u did not perform any action with female..so u can get rid this problem easily to forget the female..because she already hate u..so you do not think about female..why u do not marriage...when u think about male |
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sidra1 |
Group: Members Joined: 05th Nov, 2011 Topic: 7 Post: 171 Age:
29
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| Posted on:3rd Jan 2012, 6:31am |
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goodman i can not marry i hate that part of marriages. i can not stop thinking of her she was my friend my best friend she use to love me too but i do not know why she hated me when i had not done any thing wrong i asked her not to do that i own that i am gay but had i done any thing wrong to her? she did not listen to me n left me alone. i saw dreams in which she comes n talked to me enjoy with me like she use to do. i am very emotional person i was emotionally attached to her i am under treatment i will hopefully forget her but it will take time then i will marry.
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goodman |
Group: Members Joined: 11th Oct, 2007 Topic: 59 Post: 7344 Age:
32
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| Blocked |
| Posted on:3rd Jan 2012, 6:35am |
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sidra is male? i am gay...sidr u r male? |
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sidra1 |
Group: Members Joined: 05th Nov, 2011 Topic: 7 Post: 171 Age:
29
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| Posted on:3rd Jan 2012, 6:40am |
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good man no i am lesbian gay word is used in general gay needs 3 words to write and lesbian need 7. i choose small word for insult. i am not fake
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goodman |
Group: Members Joined: 11th Oct, 2007 Topic: 59 Post: 7344 Age:
32
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| Blocked |
| Posted on:3rd Jan 2012, 6:53am |
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sidra lesbian=female2femalegay=male2male sex
but yeah gayleasbian kiya ha yea ap bata doo? |
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sidra1 |
Group: Members Joined: 05th Nov, 2011 Topic: 7 Post: 171 Age:
29
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| Posted on:3rd Jan 2012, 6:59am |
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goodman i donot know i only know i like woman i feel comfortable in their presence not all women few. all i want is that they love me which they can not so this desire stay in me n i have no solution for it.
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goodman |
Group: Members Joined: 11th Oct, 2007 Topic: 59 Post: 7344 Age:
32
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| Blocked |
| Posted on:3rd Jan 2012, 7:01am |
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sidra then u leave all these things in ur mind..and u think about ur future..by the way use facebook |
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