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sweetii
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Group: Members Joined: 14th Apr, 2013 Topic: 18 Post: 147 Age:
22
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| Posted on:18th Dec 2013, 3:29pm |
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 Can Anyone Advice Me? (Saas Bacha Na Honay Pay Tang Krti Hai)
Salam to every0ne.mai aaj kal ek ajeeb si situation se guzar rahi hun.samjh nahi ata kia karu.shaadi ho k bahir agai hun.joint faimly ma rehti hun koi nand nahi haai.shaadi ko ek saal hugya hay aulaad nahi hay jiski wajah se saas ajeeb si hujati hayn mere saath kabhi kabhi.buht zada sensitive hun har baat sochne beth jati hun.aulaad na hune ki wajah se asa lagta hy jese mene koi jurm kia hay ya sabke pase churaa k behti hun :( saas baton baton mai ye kehti rehti hayn k jabse shaadi ki hay pareshan hugai hun..sukoon nahi hay ..ye sab sunke buht dil toot jata hay.2nd ye k apni taraf se har kaam karne ki koshsh karti hun saas mere assaabon pe sawwar huagin hyn k kahen unhen kuch bura na lag jae ye na hujae wo na hujae agay peechy lagi rehti hun par unhen koi fark nahi parta har wakt unki shakal sarii hui bani rehti ha.unka lehja bhi buht ajeeb sa hay jiski wajah se bht takleef hoti hay ma nafseyati hugai hun har wakt rona ata hy dil dharkta hay hy k kahen mere barey ma kuch na bol rahi hon ya mjhse kuch galat na hujae.mai kia karun mujhy mashwra den warna ma stress le le k pagal hujaunge :( :(
Mod edit: Edited title to be more descriptive of discussion.
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goodman
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Group: Members Joined: 11th Oct, 2007 Topic: 65 Post: 7710 Age:
33
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| Posted on:18th Dec 2013, 5:52pm |
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 sweetii
ap apnay husband say bat keray aur apnay husband say kahay kay ma bohat preshan hoo
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blueink
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Group: Members Joined: 17th Nov, 2013 Topic: 2 Post: 63 Age:
34
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| Posted on:19th Dec 2013, 2:24am |
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 @ Sweeti
Behn, aapko bohat bardasht ka muzahira krna ho ga. aapki saas acha nhe kr rhen. but aap unki baaten apnai aisaab par sawwar na honey dain.
aap apna taluq Allah se mazbot karen (Agar aap muslim hain). aur Quran ka tarjma parhna suroo karein. Is se aap ko zehne sakoon miley ga. Aik ayat ka mafhoom hai ..'Baishak dilon ka sakoon Quran mei hai.'
Surah Naas 11 baar parh kar awwal-o-aakhir 3 times durood shareef (Durood-Ibrahimi) parh kar Paani kai jug ya cooler mein phoonk marein (jahan se wo pani peeti hon). kuch time aisa karen. Inshallah unki zaban kii iziyat se aap mehfooz rahen ge. Allah aapki hifazat karey. Ameen.
@Sweeti
Note: Sorry I forgot to mention above. Pani
k jug ya cooler jahan se aapki saas paani peeti hon us par phoonk
marein. agar baaki ghar walai bhe wohi pani use kr lain tu koi masla
nhe. bas ye note kr lain kai direct pani mei nhe. bartan ki aik side pr
phoonk marni chahye.
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sweetii
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Group: Members Joined: 14th Apr, 2013 Topic: 18 Post: 147 Age:
22
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| Posted on:19th Dec 2013, 8:33am |
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blueink thank you soo muchh ;( i dont know k apka shukria kese karun.beshak apne sahi kaha k Quraan mai dilon ka sukoon hy.jis cooler se sab paani peete hain wo kitchen ma hy means dispenser apko pata hi hoga k dispenser ma transparent bottle lagi hoti hay tou kia ma bottle k uper hi phoonk maar dun??kiunke andar tou possible hi nahi plzzzz bataen
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blueink
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Group: Members Joined: 17th Nov, 2013 Topic: 2 Post: 63 Age:
34
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| Posted on:19th Dec 2013, 11:11pm |
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 @Sweeti
Ji bilkul. aap dispense par jo bottle hoti hai, us par phoonk maar lain. Kuch arsa krain ye amal. Aap within a week Inshallah asar daikhain ge.
Naiz 5 times namaz parhein. Quran ki talawat karein. tarjma parhein. Allah se pregnancy ki dua bhe karen. Ayatul kursi, Surah falak n Surah Nas with awal-o-aakhir durood sharif 3 times ,Fajr aur magrib k waqt parh kar khud par bhe dam karen, Inshallah sakoon hasil karen ge. aur nazar aur hasad ka asar bhe khatam ho jaey ga.
yaad rakhen har takleef Allah Subhana Ta'la ki taraf se hai aur wohi usko door krnai wala hai. Allah jis se bohat piyar krta hai na, usko choti moti takleef dai kar apnai Qareeb kr laita hai. :) :) So bai-fikr rahen. Sabar aur Istiqamat kai sath Allah par tawakkal rakhen. Khusyhan aap kai Qadam choomain ge. Inshallah.
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alone but happy
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Group: Members Joined: 11th Dec, 2012 Topic: 8 Post: 884 Age:
22
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| Posted on:19th Dec 2013, 11:13pm |
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Well said bluink .jee us k upar hi phonk mar dena Bluink ne b yahi kha hai. K pani k andar phonk nahi marni upar marni hai. Or sabr ka daman kbi mat chorna insan jitna marzi acha ho dunia ko nahi jeet sakta ap apny bhai ya behan ki shadi kro bhala 1 karor rupy b lga do mehman ayen ge khayen ge or jaty wakt kuch aesy b hon ge jo kahen ge k khana to thek tha par rat ko sony ka intzam behtar nahi tha .bus ap b apni sas ki bat ko suno zaror par dil pe na lgao or Allah pak pe yakeen rakho or ap ne kha abi baby ki koi umeed nahi to kia ap ne ya ap k husband ne koi test karwaye kia sb normal hen.or ap 5 wkt namaz parho or naik aulad ki dua mango .ye aulad Allah pak ki dain hai .Allah pak ap ko naik saleha aulad ata farmaye apki madad kry or ap k sabr karny k waseely se hamen b naik hadayt de or hmari madad kary ameen.ALLAH PAAK meri or jis ne ye coments likha ha us ki madad kary |
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Activist
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Group: Members Joined: 04th Feb, 2012 Topic: 7 Post: 181 Age:
24
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| Posted on:19th Dec 2013, 2:19pm |
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123 Ye saaas aise e hti ha kya? Pak ka ilmiya ha k yaha shadi hui next day baby ki farmaish. Insaaan ki apni life b apni nai rhtiz ap ik kaaan se sunain dosray se nikaaal de. N saaas ko kahay k ap ko tareeqa bta de baby paida krne ka. Allah agr abi nai denrha to what u can do. Saas ko kahain Allah pak se poche.
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sweetii
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Group: Members Joined: 14th Apr, 2013 Topic: 18 Post: 147 Age:
22
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| Posted on:21st Dec 2013, 5:33pm |
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blueink and alone and happy Thanks to both of you k aplogo ne meri help ki aur mujhy itna courage kia.mujhy bht acha laga khaas kar k blueink apka bht shukria.bht ajeeb kafeyat hay meri saas na to doosri saason ki trha tane dyti hyn na jeena tang kia hua hay lekin unka anddaz aur lehja bht ajeeb hot hay. Kabhi dusron k satth bat krti hyn tou ma note krti hun k shayd ye inki adat hi asi hay.mari koi nand nahi hy bas saas aur ma hoty hyn sab bade hayn to bht akela akela lagta hay aur gahr k mahol ka zimadar ma khudko samjhti hun.sochti hun k pta nhi kia sochti hongi wo..itna khudko samjhti hun khudko par phr wahi mayusi aur rona..asal ma meri sas itna arsa akeli rahi hyn apne Mia aur chhar beto k saath koi aurat nahi thi jo kia apni smjh se kia apbi marzi chalai isilye unhen ye manhus adat pargai hy k ab bhi khudi agay agay rehti hyn jase ma sab krsakti hun. Ma itni help krti hu itna kuch par khbi taref nahi krti ye tak bhi nahi kaha jata k han meri bahu se mjhy bht asan hugai hy khair..mujhy ye bhi bataen k ma asa kia karu k wo khud mjhy kaha karen k khna pakao aur ma jo kahu maan jaya karen ma bht roti hu bht zada ksi ko apni zAat se taklef nahi dna chahti sabka ehsas kjarti hun par mera kisi ko ehsas nahi mar jane ko dil krta hay sachi dil krta hy kahen jungle ma chali jaun jahan ksi ki shakal nzr na ae.koi baby bhi nahi ye Alag emtehan hy:( |
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blueink
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Group: Members Joined: 17th Nov, 2013 Topic: 2 Post: 63 Age:
34
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| Posted on:22nd Dec 2013, 6:24am |
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@sweeti Just wait.... will reply u soon. Meanwhile try to think of atleast 6 blessings Allah subhan Ta'la has bestowed upon you. I'm sure there must be numberless but I ask you to list down only six for the time being. Cheers. :)
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sweetii
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Group: Members Joined: 14th Apr, 2013 Topic: 18 Post: 147 Age:
22
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| Posted on:23rd Dec 2013, 6:02pm |
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@blueink Thanks to u :)).yes Allah blessings is alots on me.and m waiting 4ur reply.i hope that u will help to get out from this situation |
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sweetii
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Group: Members Joined: 14th Apr, 2013 Topic: 18 Post: 147 Age:
22
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| Posted on:23rd Dec 2013, 6:14pm |
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@bushra Thank u sis ke aapne bhi mujhy samjhya.but mai kese samjhaun apko kunke kisiko kehna asan hota hy par jo is haalaat se gu7ar raha huta hay use hi maloom hota hay.ma bari hu apne makye mai bhi aur susral mai bhi.meri saas sabse narazgi mol leke mjhy apne makye se yani khala zaad ki beti hun ma.tou ab unhe ye taklif huri hy k sab unhen kia kahenge k leke ai ho apne makye se tou kia teer maar lia:( insab bato ki wjah se ma pareshhan hujti hu ek ladki ki zindagi tabah hujati hy in chakro mai.jasa k apne btaya k ma unko jawb dun means ye k khud bcha paida krlo ya etc tou kia huga larai jhagre,mayyusi,badmazgi,phr shohar ye sab dhekega tou wo bi badzan hujaega aur akhir larki apne meke chalijaegi.ladki ki Shaadi k bad bhi maa baap pe bojh rahy tou kia faida.mana k maa baap Kabhi bojh nahi smjhte lekin insan ko khud ehsas hota hay.apki kuch baten samjg gai hu uspe amal bhi karugi..insha Allah
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sweetii
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Group: Members Joined: 14th Apr, 2013 Topic: 18 Post: 147 Age:
22
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| Posted on:23rd Dec 2013, 6:15pm |
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@blueink Thanks to u :)).yes Allah blessings is alots on me.and m waiting 4ur reply.i hope that u will help to get out from this situation |
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sweetii
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Group: Members Joined: 14th Apr, 2013 Topic: 18 Post: 147 Age:
22
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| Posted on:26th Dec 2013, 7:47pm |
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please...... please reply tou den Blue ink..m waiting for yor reply..
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blueink
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Group: Members Joined: 17th Nov, 2013 Topic: 2 Post: 63 Age:
34
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| Posted on:27th Dec 2013, 2:00am |
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@ sweeti I'm sorry I made you wait. Aap ki post ka chota reply mumkin nhe tha isliye thori dair ho gayi. Apnai aap ko internally strong karen aur depression mei na jaaney dain. Mayoosi waisai bhe Allah ko pasand nhe. Ab sunein
Sweeti, zindagi ki kuch haqeeqtain hoti hain. unko jitni jaldi samajh lo ge. Utni he jaldi aapki life easy hoti jaey ge. But agar aap nhe samjho ge, tu tough situations repeat hoti rehen ge till the time you eventually learn n agree with the existing truth.
So har situation Allah ki tarf se hoti hai...Khushi hai tu shukar ada karen, ghami hai tab bhe shukar ada karen k Allah ne aap ko apnai qareeb kr liya. aur dua mangen. Allah konsa apnai bandai ko takleef mein daikh kar khush hota hai? wo tu 70 maaon se ziada piyar krta hai.... wo takleef is liye daita hai kai ham seekhain. learn karen...aur grow karen.
Aap kai case mei reality aur learning ki baat ye hai kai .... "Saas maan nhe ho sakti, dost nhe ho skti, behn ki tarha nhe ho skti. (Though exceptions are there) but generally yehi haqeeqat hai." Is liye aap ye ab expectations un se mat rakhen. Magar wo yaqeenan as an individual aik mukhtalif aur achi khatoon hon ge. Jahan khamiyan hon ge un mein, wahan achayian bhe hon ge yaqeenan.
Kuch dair k liye aap un ko aik insaan kai tor par daikhain... unki life ka bare mei jo unhon ne guzari...jo struggle unhon ne ki....jistarha char baiton ko pala.... Sochain!! Life kai experiences ne unko aik tough insaan bna dya hai. aap 2 din mei ya 2 saalon mein unko badal nhe sktein. Aur aapko unko badalne ki koshish bhe nhe krni chahye. Old age mein kisi ko sikhaya nhe ja sakta. Aaap ko intahayee bardasht aur sabar kai sath chalna hai.
Apni ye khawahish k wo aap ko khana pakane ka kahen... kuch dair k liye side par kar dain. Aap kai liye kuch directions likh rhe hon wo daikh lain...samjh lain.. Un ko follow karen. Inshallah behtaryan hon ge.
1- You need a bestest friend ... a bestest buddy, jis se aap har baat share karen... aur jo aapki baten kbhe kisi se share na kare. Aur aisa bestest buddy/friend rela life mei exist nhe krta. :) Ye sirf aik he Hasti hai..Aik he Zaat hai jisko ham ALLAH Kehtey hain. Quran mein Allah Ta'la farmatey hain..." Aur Khuda se barh kar tmhara kon Wali ho sakta hai? (Wali means Behtreen Dost).
2- Aaap khushqismat hain. kai aap aik aisai ghar mein hain jahan aap ki izzat mehfoz hai. aap ko Allah ne road par nhe phainka. Aaap khushqismat hain k aap aik achai khandan mein paida huin aur achai khandan mein aap ko zindagi ka sathi bhe mil gaya. Aap khushqismat hain kai teen waqt pait bhar kar khana kha sakti hain. Aaap Khushqismat hain kai Allah ne aapki neend kai liye aapko naram gadaz bistar diya. Aap khushqismat hain kai aap parhi liki hain. aap kai hath.. paon.. aankhein salamat hain. See how much blessed you are!!! Just count your blessings. aur Allah ka shukar ada karen. And remember aap kai 2 kaan bhe hain. .. :)) jin ko istemaal karen. saas ne tnz kiya. aik kaan se sun liya aur dosray se nikal diya. :)I know it's not simple. but practice it! dheet ban jaen. Ziadti wali baaton ko forun forun nikal dein dosrey kaan se. unn ko lai kar baith na jaya kare.
3- Apnai aap ko halat kai mutabiq kar lain. apnai barey mein sochain. Aap ko Allah ne zaroor kuch qulities de hon ge. Are you good in painting?? drawing?? Stitching?? Decoration?? Cooking?? ((OHH! ye tu mein ne aapki dukhti rag par hath rakh diya..:)) )..let's put it in this way...umm Baking??? aap agar khana na sahi.. magar mazay mazay ki cookies tu bna skti hain na..apnai husband k liye...tea k sath serve karen. In a nutshell find any good hobby and do it! Keep yourself busy.
4- Husband se kahein aap ko bahir le kr jaen kbhe kbhar. nature ko enjoy karen. Book reading ki habit agar hai tu best hai ...achai magazines aur kitabein khareedain aur parha karen.
5- Namaz parhen. Husband ka khyal rakhen. apna khas khyal rakhen.
yun sad rehnai se tu chehra bai-rounaq ho jata hai. apnai aap ko well dress rakhain. Hamesha smily face rakhen k husband jab bhe job se wapis aaen tu aap ko daikh k khush ho jaen.
Saas baat karey tu jawab dain. na baat karey tu khamosh rahen. kisi na kisi ctivity mein busy rakhen khud ko. aur agar kbhe mauqa miley tu baatein karen unki life k baarey mein. un se lightly pocha karen kai akailay unhon ne ghar kaisai manage kiya....etc etc. unko respect kai sath ehmiyat dain. wo aaj nhe tu kal zarur acha response dan ge. Inshallah.
6- Hamesha zikar mei raha karen. Subhan Aallah.. Alhamdolillah..Astaghfarullah..so many zikars are there... keep your thought busy in zikr azkaar. Relax rahen. Izzat aur zillat Allah kai hath mein hai. kisi kai taunt ya ignore krnai se aap ki zaat mein koi kami nhe aati. balkai Allah se dua...sabar ka muzahira.. aur Allah se Taluq mazboot honai se. In the end aapko he izzat aur urooj miley ga. Inshallah.
Wish you all the best Sweeti. Hope you are feeling better now n will be able to cope with your depression. Keep Smiling always! :) n Take Care. :)
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alone but happy
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Group: Members Joined: 11th Dec, 2012 Topic: 8 Post: 884 Age:
22
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| Posted on:27th Dec 2013, 10:01pm |
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Bluink masha'Allah acha rply kia ha ap ne sweeti ko ALLAH PAAK meri or jis ne ye coments likha ha us ki madad kary |
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sweetii
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Group: Members Joined: 14th Apr, 2013 Topic: 18 Post: 147 Age:
22
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| Posted on:28th Dec 2013, 9:39am |
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Dear blue ink Salam hope you fine :) thank u alot sister! i hav no wordz to say you Thanks...apne buhat achey se samjhaya aur mene kafi samjh bhi lia ye sab baten mere mind ma nahi aa rahin thin par apne solve kardin :) aur mujhy batadin.yes mai interior designg ka diploma kia hua hay sweet dishes bhi bna leti hun insab se tou kush hujate hain sab lekin mu se nahi khte.mai aur mre huby bht kush hyn ek doosry k saath ..Thanks sis itni help karne k leay.Allah apko khair de,Apki har wish poori kare ameen Take care sis:)
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sweetii
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Group: Members Joined: 14th Apr, 2013 Topic: 18 Post: 147 Age:
22
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| Posted on:28th Dec 2013, 9:43am |
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Bushra salam.Hope you Fine sis :) aapka bhi bht bht shukria k apne bhi mujhy bht smoothly smjhaya! ye jo baaten aplogo ne batai hayn yehi mujhy smj nahi arai thi aur ma tense hujati thi.ap ne sahi kaha k yahan gahr ma space kam hot ha lekin mera gahr phir bhi behtar hay.fasla hujata hay ...bas mere leay dua karen k Allah aulaad se nawaz de tou sare masle sudhar jaen.aurat ki koi hesyat hi nahi huti jabjtak wo be aulaad rehti hy susral ma.aur phir baat bhi jab phele pota poti ki hou tou.khair care and help k leay bht thnks..ma zarur apply karunge May Allah Blessed you ameen :)
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blueink
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Group: Members Joined: 17th Nov, 2013 Topic: 2 Post: 63 Age:
34
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| Posted on:29th Dec 2013, 2:12am |
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@sweeti
Jazak Allah for your prayers sweeti. Prayers are all that we need.
aap ne interior designing ka course kiya hua hai. tu search new things related to interior designing on internet. Aur hausband se apna shauq share karo. You can make some good little changes in your room. Ghar ka nhe kahon ge cohz saas wala factor aa jaey ga. albatta kuch krna chaho tu saas se mashwara kro. unko involve kro apni hobbby mein..aur sath le kr chalo. you can always make good paper flowers stuff and present it to your husband n also to your saas (Never Mind ;) or anything similar to that to make their days n in return yours as well.
Dont expect kai aapki tareef munh se he ho ge. agar sb khush ho jatey hain tu isi ko tareeef samajh lein. Albatta husband par aapka right hai. unko kaha karen kai appreciation aapko achi lagti hai. tu wo krain gai aapki tareef zarur Inshallah. Aur kbhe bhol jaen tu yaad krwa den khud poch lain ye cheez kaisi bnayi mei ne...btaen? (be cute ;))
bas aik baat kabhi na bholna 'Rishton ko torna tu bohat asaan kaam hai..1 second mein toot jatey hain. Magar jorna asal mein real thing hai. aur usi ka hamein hukam bhe hai deen mein.'
Inshallah aik din zaroor aaey ga jab susral mei aapka he naam ho ga. jab tak baby nhe hota ..keep your self busy ..rather very busy...to avoid any friction with saas.
Stay blessed. MOD ACTION: Merged below post #360170 by same poster:
TITLE: @alone but happyPOST: Since aap ne kyi jagah comment kiya merai replies par. I feel I must say that
"Thanks
for appreciating my replies every now n then. Trust me I don't do it
for tareef stuff from people. balkai mujhey bohat sharm aati hai jab koi
tareef krta hai cohz mein tu kuch nhe krti sb Allah Paak ki zaat krti
hai. Aur sab tareefain usi Zaat kai liye hain."
But
I must say I have found you the humblest with all among all forum
members. May Allah bless you with the best of health aur aapki isi tarha
contribution krtai rahain. Ameen. Stay blessed.
MOD NOTE: Do not make post within 5-10 minutes of previous post. Make up your ming and post it all in one go.
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blueink
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Group: Members Joined: 17th Nov, 2013 Topic: 2 Post: 63 Age:
34
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| Posted on:29th Dec 2013, 2:22am |
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@alone but happy
MOD EDIT: Shifted content to just above post #360168 of same poster.
MOD NOTE: Do not make consequent posts. Write all your content in one post.
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alone but happy
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Group: Members Joined: 11th Dec, 2012 Topic: 8 Post: 884 Age:
22
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| Posted on:31st Dec 2013, 5:19am |
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Thanx bluink thank u so much Mujy b apki post se buht kuch seekhny ko milta hai or myrizvi sahib ki post se b or maryam ki post se b bht kuch sekha bushra b acha guide karti ha par en ma se ab kuch member chating room ma zada rahty hen jin ma maryam raja taqi or diplomat or b baki seniore membr wgera ab yahan logon ki helping post karny ki bjay chating room mai rehna zada pasnd karty hen shyd wo post kr kr k thak gaye hen yhan ab .kher ALLAH HAM SB KA BHALA KARY HAM sb ko achy se se guide karny ki tofeeq atta farmaye ameen sum ameen .bluink ap abi ai ho kuch din pehly but masha'Allah jald hi samj gaye ho es forum ko.or es k usool ko
ALLAH PAAK meri or jis ne ye coments likha ha us ki madad kary |
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