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Assalaam o Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa BArahkatuh ...
KAisay ho sab users. I hope aap mujhay koi achi advise de saktay ghay - Pehle main thori details mein batati hun ke baat kya hai : Meri Shaadi 2 saal pehle huwi hai aur main shaadi se pehle apne husband ko pasand karti thi aur woh kisi aur ko like karta tha ....
mere husband ko maloom tha ke main usko like karti thi maghar woh hamesha mujhay ignore kartha tha .... maghar jiss larki ko woh like kartha uski shaadi hoghi kisi aur ke saath ... uske baad kuch arsa ghuzara .... aur 2 years pehle usne mere ghar rishta bheja ... he is my cousin ( khala ka beta hai) aur by the way main uk mein rehti hun .... so meri nani amma chahti thi ke mere husband mujhse shaadi karlain isstarah woh uk ajaeghay .... aur mera husband meri nani amma ki ( uski bi nani amma hai) buhat respect kartha hai aur har baat maanta hai ... so unho ne rishta bheja aur hum ne haan kardi .... uss time main non practising muslim thi aur husband bi non practising muslim tha .... itni deen ki taraf nahi thay hum.. maine han ki thi uss waqt kyun main like karthi thi .... maghar hum ek dusron ko bilkul jaantay nahi thay ...
so maine shaadi ki hai usse kyun ke main like karti thi aur ussne pata nahi kyun mujhse shaadi ki hai .... shayad hamari nani amma ke liye ...
jab hamari shaadi hoghi to pehle din woh aaya aur mujhay kehta hai ke '' mujhay koi lalach nahi , maine kisi lalach ke liye shaadi nahi ki aur aghar mere andar koi lalach hota to main uss larki se shaadi karleta joy italy mein rehti hai aur uski family poocha bi tha rishtay ke liye ... ''

and i was like: nahi nahi main aisay nahi soochti :p ....
phir shaadi ke baad like every couple hum buhat khush thay ... he is very nice .... maine usko kabhi jaana nahi tha shaadi se pehle aur ab jitna bi jana acha hi lagha hai :p .. he is mash'Allah very good .... perfect husband .... very caring .. mash'Allah mash'Allah ....
ab yeh hua hai ke main deen ki taraf aghi hun ek saal se ... aur main buhat serious islam ko lay rahi hun .... i ve changed my whole life .... aur islam ko buhat seriously le rahi hun main ....
mere husband buhat islamic nahi hai mghar unho mein koi buri adat bi nahi hai jaisay aaj kal ke larkon mein hoti hai : jaisay woh smoking/drinking/drugs nahi kartay ... movies/ songs mein interst nahi hai unko ..... awaien loafers ki tarah phirtay nahi rehtay .... woh family ko time detay hai aur apni job kartay hai ... batemeezi nahi kartay kisi ke saath ... and he is very young .... he is 26 years old mash 'Allah ... he is very good ... kyun ke mere bhai bi hai aur woh itnay sudray nahi hai :p ....

by the way he is still in pakistan ... kyun ke mein jahan study kar rahi hun .. in sha Allah yeh meri studies ka last year hai aur iskke baad mein unko uk bhulaoghi ..... thats what we have planned but Allah knows the best .. and i trust ALlah undoubtedly ... ke yeh Allah yoh bi karegha acha hi karegha ...
to .... ab main islamic hoghi hun ... to maine unko kaha hai ke namaz parna shuru karo ... pehle pehle job ke bahanaay kartay thay ke main buhat busy hota hun .isliyeh namaz ada nahi kar sakta ... customers aatay hai .. etc .etc
maghar Alhamdulillah woh ab namaz parthay hai ... fajr aur isha kabhi miss ho jati hai waisay parthay hai ...
ab maine unko kaha hai ke beard ko grow karo ... to unho ne kaha hai theek hai ab kuch din pehle maine poocha ke beard grow ki hai
he said : islam main yeh hai ke jitni insaaan samhaal sakay utni hi daari rakhni chahiyeh ... aur phir hamari itni arguments huwi ... aur hamesha hum naraaz ho kar call disconnect kartay hai ...
ab maine kaha hai ke aap tajweed ki classes lain ... kyun ke main chahti hun ke woh rozana atleast 1 surah parhain ... unho ne quran paak sikha tha jab woh chotay thay maghar ab woh bhool chukay hai kyun ke kaafi arsa hoghiyah hai unko quran paak parthay huway so i said take the tajweed classes again ...
he agreed but ab jab bi woh mujhay call kartha hai usko ppochti hun : kya huwa class ka .. aur woh kehtay hai abhi tak pata nahi kiya maghar jaoghi ...

to baat yehi hai ke woh islam mein interest nahi letay jitna main chahti hun woh lain .... woh shayad namaz ada kar rahay hai / beard rakh rahay hai kyun ke main keh rahi hun karne ke liye unko.... jab woh uk ajaeghay ek baar to phir aap apni normal life main chalain jaeghay ... am scaredd ..... i dont wanna take the risk ...
jab woh call kartay hai toh hamari conversation kuch istarah hoti hai :
me : namaz parhi ?
him: han sab ada ki hai or he will say : nahi raat ko dair se soya tha isliyeh fajr aur isha nahi par saka ... aghar yeh jawaab degha to phir hum argue kartay hai .... phir mein lecture dena shuru kar deti hun ...
me : beard grow ki hai ..
Him : jitna saamhaal sakay utni rakhni chahiyeh thn me giving lecture again ... ke sunnat hai aur why r u ashamed :p
me : tajweed classes ka kiya huwa : him : main busy tha isliyeh nahi ghaya poochnay ke liyeh ...

phir yeh hota hai woh mujhay kehtay hai ke main aapne aapko buhat naik samajhti hun aur buhat gharoor karti hai .. but really main nahi karti ...
aur main jab bi call band karti hun to soochti ho ke ainda ke baad main usko kuch nahi kahungi phir main soochti hun woh mera husband hai ... mujh per farz hai ke unko achay raastay per lekar aoo ...
mujhay pura yakeen hai ke unko nahi pasand jab main lecture deti hun ... maghar main karun .. main aadat se majboor hun ... main hamesha koshish karti hun ke main pyaar se samjhao maghar phir main shuru ho jati hun ... : like : tum kyun nahi parthay namaz ... tumhain pata bi hai ke namaz ki ehmiyaat kia hai ... ka tumhhain Allah per yaqeen nahi hai .... kya isliyeh Muhammed (S.A.W) qurbani di thi .... etc etc etc
acha by the way he is shop owner and he works there from 12 till 12 in the night aur isha ki namaz isliyeh nahi parhtain kyun ke isha ke time buhat customers aatay hai ... aur yeh baat mujhay buhat ajeeb laghti hai ... aur hamari buhat arguments hotay ... :( like kaisay koi Allah ko shor degha kuch customers ke liye .... ALLAH ka ek name hai Ar razzaq ... ek baar trust kar ke to dekho but then woh mujhay kehtay hai ke tum free ho na isliyeh yeh baatain karti hon ... jab busy ho jaeghi na tab poochugha ....
acha by the way woh ek buhat valid point detay hai ke jab main islamic nahi thi to main bi itna interest nahi leti thi ... he says ke ALLAH hidayat denay walay hai .. jab ALLAH hidayat degha tab hi unko feel hogha ke islamic comes above everything tab tak unka koi kasoor nahi hai ....

and i think he is right actually .... mmmmmm ..... kyun ke ALLAh hi hidayat deta hai ... main sirf dawah deh sakti hun ...
to main poochna chahti hun ke main kya karun ... ke main ab unko lecture na do aur unko tang na karun .. aur joh woh karna chahtay hai woh unko karnay dun ...

I am really stressed .... mujhay dar hai ke woh kabhi shayad change nahi hoghay .... aur ab mein pakistan bi nahi jaana chahti apne husband ke paas ,,,, shayad mera dil bar ghayah hai ..... I never think about my husband ... i am always thinking about Allah ..
abhi mere bachay nahi hai maghar jab hoghay to unka future kya hogha ????
aur aghar woh change nahi huway to kya main unhain chor dun :( :( kyun ke main uske sath zindaghi ghuzarna chahti hun yoh mujhay Allah ke aur nazdeek lay ayain .... but i am scared ... coz my husband is perfect in every matter .... bass thora islamic nahi hai ... meri family sab mujhse naraaz ho jaeghi aur mujhay pata mujhay ko samajh nahi paegha .. aur sab mujhay paghal kaheghay :p .... meri family itna interest nahi leti islam mein ...
aghar time do to kitna time do unko ???? main apni puri zindaghi waste nahi kar sakti ....
meri husband ki itni ghalti bi nahi hai ... hamari families itni islamic nahi .. hum logon ki upbringing namaz ke saath nahi huwi :( :( unfortunately :( :(

sorry for the long post ... please please aaghar koi reply kar sakta hai to please karain ...

Mehru M

Group: Members Joined: 23rd Dec, 2012 Topic: 2 Post: 13 Age: 25

Posted on:17th Mar 2013, 8:05pm

Sajjal H.

sis

jab wo ap k pas UK aa jaein gy tab itnay lectures dyna, ap os se door hain, is liye ap ki baaton ko seriously nahi layty

jab wo ap k pas aa jaein tab piyaar sy on ko step by step islam ki tarf laien, ap abi on per apni zaberdasti na musalat karein

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mera husband non practising hai aur yeh baat mujhay buhat tang karti hai - main kya karun

mera husband non practising hai aur yeh baat mujhay buhat tang karti hai - main kya karun

Sajjal H.

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Noor Clinic Pakistan Forum